Statue Jokes

What did the Kiwi say to the Statue?

Statue bro?

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What did the statue say to the other statue?

Hey, S-tat-ue?

What does the torch represent in the hand of the Statue of Liberty?

The torch is a symbol of her inability to read in the dark.

What did one statue say to the other statue he hadn't seen in a while?

Statue bro?"

What did the statue say to the chair?

Chair? Statue?! :D

What did the girl say when the Statue of Liberty sneezed?

God bless America.

How do you get 27 kids to carve a statue?

A: Have everybody chip in.

Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?

Pupil: Because it can't sit down!

What did King Kong say when he saw the Statue of Liberty?

Are you my mother

What do you call a statue holding some Mouthwash?

A gargoyle!

Why is it a bad idea to get in a relationship with a statue?

Because it's not going anywhere.

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What do you call a statue of a ballsack?

A scrotum totem

This joke may have profanity.

Why did Snoop Dogg go to the store before he sculpted his statue?

Fo' chisel.

What do Bernie Sanders and the Statue of Liberty have in common?

Common people sent both of them pennies to help build a foundation for liberty.

When one points and asks his friend, "Is that statue a foot?

To which his friend replies, "No, it's about four and a half feet."

What has four legs but doesn't move?

A: A statue of a dog!

How do you know the Statue of Liberty isn't French?

It doesn't have both arms raised. And yes I know the French manufactured the Statue of Liberty and gave it to the United States

Why did the Pharaoh Build a Statue of Himself?

Because he Sphinx he's the best.

Why is the Statue of Liberty hollow?

Because she's really French, and the French have no GUTS!

What do you call a statue of Jesus made out of cigarettes?

Holy smokes.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head?

When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up

What military rank do you hold while using a pay toilet?

Lieutenant

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What's E.T short for?

Because he's got little legs. But seriously, what does ET stand for Because he can't sit down.

What were Adam's first ever words to Eve?

Stand back - I don't know how big it's going to get!"

Manufacture Jokes More Manufacture Jokes

Whats the worst thing about manufacturing tabletops?

It's counterproductive

Why did the employee get fired from the calendar manufacturing company?

He took a day off

Bro Jokes More Bro Jokes

What did the doughnut say to the cop?

Don't glaze me, bro

Why couldn't Diablo get his bros out of jail?

He couldn't pay for Baal

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Which playing card can turn its hand to everything?

Jack of all Spades

What did the russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time?

You're my brother in arms!"

Gargoyle Jokes More Gargoyle Jokes

How did the monster cure his sore throat?

He spent all day gargoyling.

What do you call a statue holding some Mouthwash?

A gargoyle!

United States Jokes More United States Jokes

What is similar between Spain, Ireland, and the United States?

Their economies falter after a popping of a housing bubble.

What's one advantage of electing a woman president of the United States?

We wouldn't have to pay her as much.

Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

Why did I carve a heart with me and my boyfriends initials into a tree?

To sharpen the knife

What is Hannibal Lecter's favorite Jane Austen quote?

There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart."**