Mix Jokes

What do you get when you mix an insurance company with an NFL quarterback?

An Aflacco

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What do you get when you mix a rhino with an elephant?

Eliphino

What do you call a mix between holiday poultry and a ghoul?

A gobblin. I'll see myself out...

What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?

Kicked out of the petting zoo.

What do you get when mix the last of the solute with the last of the solvent?

The Final Solution

Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?

Because Oct31 = Dec25

What do you get when you mix a rhinoceros with an elephant?

Elephino...

What do you get when you mix triangles with Tumblr?

Trigger-Nometry

What do you get when you mix a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog

What do you get when you mix a Dog and a Rhino?

How would Rhino?

What do you get when you mix a fly, a snake head, and Mickey Mouse?

The hell out of there.

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What do you call a helicopter mixed with a rhino?

Well hell-if-i-know!

What falls faster from a tree, a leaf or an Emo?

The leaf, the Emo is too depressed to go outside. I saw this joke reposted so many times. I figured I'd mix it up a bit.

What do you get when you mix a leper and a con man?

A lepercon. (In honor of Saint Patrick's day.)

What do you get when you mix pie and onions?

Opinions!

Why is it bad to mix Islam and Hinduism?

Because you might get Sikh

What do you get when you mix a black and asian person?

A criminal mastermind ...

What do you get when you mix a rat and an elephant?

Who cares? It's a relephant.

Why did the German get their tailor and their barber mixed up?

They call their tailor Herr Dresser

What do you get when you mix an octopus and a Mexican?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

What do you get when you mix yoga and scouting?

Concentration camps.

Why did Gandhi lose the race?

I guess he got his fasts mixed up.

What do you get when you mix free running with golf?

Parfour Sorry

What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

What do you get when you mix a Mexican with an octopus?

I dont know, but it sure as hell can pick apples.

What do you get when you mix an octopus with a black guy?

Idk but it sure as hell can pick cotton

What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is dog.

What happens when you mix mustard and ketchup together?

it's must-up ..

What does a Canadian get by mixing black and white?

Greh.

What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

What happens when someone mixes Francium, Oxygen, Tungsten, and Nitrogen after it explodes?

The chemist may frown.

What do you get when you mix a monkey and a midget?

Tom Cruise

What do you get when you mix up literature and alcohol?

Tequila mockingbird Or Ernest Hemingway

What did the scientist say before he died by mixing Hydroxide and Nitrate?

OH NO !"

What do you get when you mix a cat and a blender?

A visit from the cops.

What do you get when you mix S&M with R&B?

The Marquis de

This joke may have profanity.

What so you call a bulldog mixed with a shih tzu?

A bull shiht

What is it called when you mix Alcohol and Literature?

Tequila Mockingbird. (X-post )

What do you call a pony mixed with a robot?

RoboClop....so sorry

What do you get when you mix gangsta rap and relational aesthetics?

Albums released through California penal records.

What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?

Tequila Mockingbird!

What do you get when you mix a Native American and an Irishman?

An alcoholic with a drinking problem

What do you get when you mix a broccoli and a melon?

The saddest vegetable known to man: a melonccoli.

What do Alan Turing and a well-mixed solution have in common?

They're both homo-genius.

What do you get when you mix Nyquil and MiraLAX?

Relaxatives.

What do you get when you mix a Jehovah's Witness with an Atheist?

Someone who shows up to your door for no reason.

What happens when you mix roofies and Viagra?

Ring toss.

This joke may have profanity.

What happens when you mix a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite

What do you get when you mix a public speaker with someone who had tourettes?

A clock! One provides the tic, the other provides the talk Credit to my Autistic Big Bro

What do you get when you mix chocolate milk and cocaine?

Ovalsheen. Credit goes to my cousin on this one.

What do you get if you mix Coco Pops and milk?

Chocolate milk! What do you get if you mix Coco Pops and chocolate milk Diabetes

What do you get when you mix the Twelve Days of Christmas with Ninety-nine Bottles of beer on the wall?

A year in prison if there's any justice.

What do you get when you mix /r/pokemon and /r/gonewild?

PP up

What do you get when you mix castor oil with holy water?

A religious movement.

What do you get when you mix S&M with R&B?

The Marquis de Sade

This joke may have profanity.

What do you get when you mix a communist and a capitalist?

Bernie sanders

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

What do u get when u mix a douche and a tool?

Scottsdale.

What do you call mixing hard liquor into coffee?

Getting ready for work

What do you get when you mix a lesbian and a platypus?

A lickalottapus.

What do you get when you mix olive oil, lemon juice, rosemary, thyme, salt, pepper and marijuana?

Cheech Marinade!

What do you get when you mix laxatives with holy water?

A religious movement.

What do you get when you mix batteries and water?

Watt-er

What do you get when... what do you get when you mix a joke and a rhetorical question?

a rhetorical answer

What do you get when you mix Fascism and Communism?

I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

What do you get when you mix a black man with microwave chicken?

May be offensive) Mike Tyson

What do you call a neurotic octopus?

A crazy mixed-up squid.

What do you get when when you mix cocaine and LSD?

Time

What do you get when you mix a dog and a tulip?

A collieflower

What happens when you mix Jared from Subway and Bill Cosby?

I don't know; It was too long ago, and I can't remember.

How do you make a hamburger green?

Find a yellow cheeseburger and mix it with a blue one!

What do you get when you mix a hippie and a yellow?

Mello Yellow

What do you get when you mix a pickle and a deer?

A dilldoe

What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

A:.........

Whoa, what's with all the whisks?

Sir-Mix-a-Lot: Why you judgin me

What do you get when you mix a mouse with some laundry detergent?

Squeaky clean clothes.

What do you get when you mix two chains and a cow?

Truuuuuuuuuuu-moooooooooooooooooo!!!

What do you get if you mix up together an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?

A guy who is up all night wondering if there is a dog.

What do you get when you mix a car and a refrigerator?

A car-brrrrr-etor I'll see myself out.

What do you get when you mix an Insomniac a Dyslexic and an Agnostic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog

What do you get when you mix beans and onions?

A: Tear gas.

What do you call a mix between an elephant and a rhino?

Ell if I know

What do you get when you mix lemonade and ice tea?

A dead golfer...

What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way?

Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.

What happens when you mix pandas and ammonium?

Pandemonium breaks out.

What do you get when you mix an elf and a scientologist?

Elrond Hubbard!

What do you get when you mix a boxer and cocaine?

A punchline

What do you get if you mix..... Mexicans with Samoans?

Some mo Mexicans!

What do you get when you mix T and C?

Angry British people!

What do get when you mix two breads?

A hy-bread

What do you get when you mix Mexico with literature?

Tequila Mockingbird

What do you get when you mix a helicopter and a rhino?

Hell if I know.

What do you get when you chop up a fruit and mix it with vegetables?

I don't know but it was hard as hell stealing thier wheelchairs with pieces of Richard Simmons tripping me up.

What do you get when you mix tea and a dogs name?

A dinosaur! Ha ha get it Tea-rex Hahaha...

What do you get when you mix Viagra with Disney World?

Kicked out.

This joke may have profanity.

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 == Dec 25

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

How do you teach your dog to roll over ?

Put him on fire.

When does a dog go "moo" ?

When it is learning a new language !

Pet Zoo Jokes More Pet Zoo Jokes

What do you get when you inject human DNA to a goat?

A permanent ban from the petting zoo

What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?

Kicked out of the petting zoo.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the ghost who couldn't scare?

He had to join a support group since he couldn't handle his boos.

What happened when the man couldn't afford the mortgage on his haunted house?

it was repossessed!

Programmer Jokes More Programmer Jokes

Why can't java programmers see well?

Because of the eclipse.

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.

A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.

Law Jokes More Law Jokes

Why was the tree in prison?

Because it broke every branch of the law.

What do you have when you have a mother in law buried up to her neck in sand?

not enough sand.

Bmw Jokes More Bmw Jokes

What's the deference between and porcupine and a BMW?

A porcupine has its pricks on the outside

What do you get when BMW, Volkswagen, and Callaway design a car together?

A Mini Golf.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What do you call a man who thinks women are easy to lie to?

Deceased

What signal tells you that a politician is lying?

The lips are moving

Chocolate Milk Jokes More Chocolate Milk Jokes

Why Mr.BEAN Bought A Brown Cow?

2 Get Chocolate Milk!!

Why don't Hollywood talent agents drink chocolate milk?

Because it's not about who you know, but no Yoo-hoo.