University Jokes

Why did the University of Kentucky have to put AstroTurf down on the stadium?

To keep the cheerleaders from grazing at halftime.

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Where do mushrooms go to university?

The mycollege.

What subject did the Warlock major in at University?

Fel-osophy

Why your oven doesn't attend an university?

It already has at least hundred degrees

What's the difference between a degree in Theoretical Physics and a theoretical degree in Physics?

One is relevant and can get you a job. The other you went to university for.

What do you say to someone who studied media at university?

Can I have fries with that please?

Which university has the most muslims?

SUNY

How many OU (University of Oklahoma) coaches does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They aren't about to change a bulb when flipping a switch has worked for 15 years.

Where do galaxies go to college?

University! Happy 1st day back to school to many of you :)

Why did the oven go back to University?

To get another degree. My sister thought it up and found it so funny she called to tell me.

What do University of Miami, Florida State, and University of Florida football fans have in common?

None attended the University of Miami.

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What university did Lil Jon go to?

YAAAAAAAAALE

What do you call the grounds of a university that specializes in teaching neuroscience to hippopotamuses?

Hippocampus!

Why do University of Alabama graduates place their diplomas on their rear-view mirrors?

So they can park in handicap spots.

Why doesn't the sun need to go to University?

He's too bright.

What university has the most brightest students and staff?

University of Brighton

Why didn't the sun have to attend university?

It's already got thousands of degrees.

Where did Dr. Pepper get his degree?

The University of Minnesoda

Where did the universe attend college?

At the university.

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Refund Jokes More Refund Jokes

What's at the centre of No Man's Sky universe?

A refund. credit to (saw it on another post as comment, thought it deserved own post)

Why did the college student ask for a refund on his student loan?

Because his *degree* didn't work!

Universe Jokes More Universe Jokes

What does Gordon program in?

FLASH... AAAHHHHHHHH. Its the language of the universe...

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

Serve Jokes More Serve Jokes

Why did the undercover cop pose as a waiter?

So he could protect and serve.

What do you call a pink slip served in a coffee bag?

Grounds for termination!

Cheerleader Jokes More Cheerleader Jokes

What makes cheerleaders nervous?

Being late

Why did the University of Kentucky have to put AstroTurf down on the stadium?

To keep the cheerleaders from grazing at halftime.

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

Where do salt lovers go to pray?

OC The taberNaCl. (Sorry..) (X-posted to dad jokes.)

How do you ruin a good joke?

By posting it over and over on the same subreddit

Join Jokes More Join Jokes

Why did the Turkey join the band?

because he had two Drumsticks.

Why did the surfer join ISIS?

Because he was totally radical! EDIT: I guess this didn't blow up.

Shredder Jokes More Shredder Jokes

Why is Oliver North like Kraang?

They both love using the shredder.

How does a turtle grate cheese?

Shredder

Kentucky Jokes More Kentucky Jokes

How can you tell that the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky?

Because it is not called a teethbrush.

Why did the University of Kentucky have to put AstroTurf down on the stadium?

To keep the cheerleaders from grazing at halftime.