Carrot Jokes

What did one Snowman say to the other Snowman?

Can you smell carrot?

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What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot. :

What did the rabbit say to the carrot?

It's been nice gnawing you.

What is worse than a carrot that smells like a snow women?

One that smells like a snow man.

What's invisible and smells like carrots?

bunny farts

Why the rabbits love Selena Gomez?

im farting carrots, im farting carrots...

What key opens a banana?

A monkey. What key opens a carrot? A donkey.

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

What's the difference between a rabbit on a treadmill and a rabbit with a carrot stuck up its nose?

One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny

What is invisible and smells like carrots?

Rabbit farts

How do you make a ginger snap?

Call them "carrot top"

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What did the carrot say to the DJ?

Lettuce Turnip The Beet

Why'd you get me carrots and lettuce?

Wait but that means-" *Hamster at home wearing glorious diamond earrings*

Why u bean like this?

SMACK "Don't u carrot all " CRACK

What did the carrot say when the last vegetable arrived at the party?

TURNIP

What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear ?

Anything you want as he can't hear you !

What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot ?

A carrot !

How do you lead a horse to water?

With carrots

What happened when the carrot died?

There was a huge turnip at the funeral.

What did the guy who didn't like vegetables say?

I don't really carrot all for vegetables."

What do you call a stegosaurus with carrots in its ears?

Anything you want to - it can't here you!

What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend?

She wasn't right for me, so I really don't carrot all.

What did one snowman say to the other snow man?

Do you smell carrot?

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot.

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What do mathematicians think about exponential functions?

They're radical.

How would it be living in an only men city?

I think it would be tight at first, but then it would loosen up after a while.

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What do get when a ghost picks his nose?

Boooooogers!

Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with his finger up his nose?

He was a ghoulsnif fer.

Peace Jokes More Peace Jokes

What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road?

Rust-in-peace.

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

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What's the difference between men and pigs?

Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

How do you get a German out of the bath?

A: Turn on the water.

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

Why was Joe disappointed when he read the newspaper in Washington?

There were no jokes in the Post.

What's the difference between organized crime and the government?

Only one of them is organized. Couldn't help but post this. Went to see a former mafia boss today, and that joke was told leading up to him speaking.

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

Why did the Chihuahua laugh?

The cow jumped over the moon.

Why do cows poop carrots?

BECAUSE THEY'RE CARROT COWS!!!

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What did the pirate with the steering wheel in his pants say?

Argh it's driving me nuts!"

What's six inches long, has two nuts, and gives women big bellies?

Almond Joy.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What's the perfect line of work for a lizard?

Re-tail.

Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf?

Because it's too much like work what with all of the lying involved.