Contain Jokes

What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?

Your spine.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What movie contains the most micro aggressions?

Ant Man

What do Canadian banks and psych wards have in common?

They both contain locked up loonies!

What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter?

an Envelope EDIT: My deepest Canadian apologies to those who are calling this a riddle. I always took it as a cheesy joke

Why do baked bean cans contain only 239 beans?

Because if they had one more, they would be 240.

How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None. Each lightbulb contains the means of its own revolution.

Which gospel contains Jesus' parable about the shades of numbers?

Math hue.

Why did Tim Tebow's mom protest against the Russian soup truck?

It contained a borscht ton.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.

How did the set react when it heard about the Russell Paradox?

It couldn't contain itself.

Why aren't kids under the age of 18 allowed to watch videos about duck calls without the consent of a parent?

Because they contain a lot of fowl language.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How many Marxists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

What body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?

Spine

What's wrong with a joke containing Cobalt, Radon and Yttrium?

It's CoRnY

What do you call a folder on FBI's servers that contains all the intel on known child molesters?

A Pedo File.

What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?

McBongald's

Why did people use insulation containing deadly toxins?

It was asbestos they could do at the time!

How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

What did they say about the computer at the Bunny Ranch?

It may contain viruses.

What starts with a 'C', contains the letters U, N, and T, is hairy on the outside, and soft on the inside?

A coconut!

What two words contain the most letters?

A: Post office.

You might also enjoy:

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

Why are Peter pan Jokes always funny?

Because they never grow old

How do rocks feel about moss?

It's growing on them.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

How did the blonde break her leg from raking the leaves?

She fell out of the tree.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!

Loonie Jokes More Loonie Jokes

What do you call a loonie answering questions on reddit?

DollarAMA. *Only Canadians will get it, sorry.

What do Canadian banks and psych wards have in common?

They both contain locked up loonies!

Psych Ward Jokes More Psych Ward Jokes

Why did Ginger go to the psych ward?

Ginger snaps

What do Canadian banks and psych wards have in common?

They both contain locked up loonies!

Lock Jokes More Lock Jokes

What do you call 32 white people locked in a closet?

A captive Cherokee.

Why is it easy to break in to an old man's house?

Because his gait is broken and his locks are few.

Page Jokes More Page Jokes

Why did the introduction and the conclusion break up?

They were just never on the same page...

What does an insecure white kid do when he accidentally leaves a page?

Alt+Right

Letter Jokes More Letter Jokes

How do you get a dead turtle to flip itself back over on its feet?

You take the letter F out of way.

Who does Dracula get letters from?

His fang club.

End Jokes More End Jokes

What do you call the things on the end of Winnie the Pooh's feet?

Putos (Ask your Mexican friend)

How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but he has to have a nurse to tell him which end to screw in.