Name Jokes

What do you call a stupid kid in pre-school?

Names.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

How does a black mother tell her children apart?

She remembers them by their last names.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch?

Names!

What do you call a kid with an eye patch, braces and a lisp?

Names

What was Rudolph's nickname?

Names. Because they used to laugh and call him Names. Credit to my dad.

What do you call a kid with no legs, no arms and an eyepatch?

Names.

What do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch?

Names! -Bo Burnham

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs?

Names

What do you call a boy with no arms and an eyepatch????

Names

How does she tell them apart?

Their last names.

What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?

Names

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Coffee Mug

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch?

Names.

What do George Michael and Carrie Fisher have in common?

Both their first names have six letters. That's it. For now. Edit: they're both dead.

How to lose a gf: Gf: which of my friends would be the most fun to have a 3some with?

Me: *names two of them*

What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary?

An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names...

What were their names?

Hot and Cold.

Which two names figure prominently in every Ape's diet?

Ben/Anna!

How did she tell them apart?

She looked at their last names...

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a high school?

Names

How to make your God proud?

By abusing his names in other languages.

What medications do I take?

I'm not sure. The names on my neighbor's prescription bottles are ridiculously long

What do you call a kid with no arms and legs and severe Down syndrome?

Names

How can you tell the difference between all the banjo songs?

A: By their names.

Why don't you try calling them names too?

Steve: "I can't, they're so beautiful"

What did the black mother name her 5 daughters?

Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone. How did she tell them apart She called them by their last names!

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch?

Names.

What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no limbs?

Names.

Why are there broken condoms on the couch?

Wife: Would you please call our children by their names!

What did the dumb blonde say when told that "Scheherezade" was composed by Rimsky-Korsakov ?

A: "Why'd his mom choose to call him Rimsky of all names !! "

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Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

What kind of coffee does an executioner drink?

Decap

When Chris brought over his musl*m girlfriend to meet the family, what did they say?

Nice scarf! Must be cold where you came from! Do you guys want coffee?"

Irene Jokes More Irene Jokes

What do you call an Asian woman with a leg shorter than the other?

Irene

What do you call an Asian woman with one leg?

Irene

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What is the easiest way to get a small fortune?

You start with a large one.

When's the best time of day to start a diet?

4:00 For:Klock

Darling Jokes More Darling Jokes

What's your Mom's name?

Kid: Mom's last name must be "Darling" because that's what Daddy calls her every time.... Teacher: That's so sweet. What's her first name then? Kid: I think it's "Sorry"....

How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

Whats the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon?

I can get through his opening monologue without laughing

Why do people at work always laugh at my jokes?

Because they're paid to.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why do I only see lesbian couples holding hands?

Aren't their hands clammy enough as it is...

Why did the cancer patient get smacked?

His hand was bigger than his face.

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

Why doesn't Gabe Newell play basketball?

Because he can't make 3's

Why do heroine addicts rarely have meetings late in the afternoon?

Because it's dangerous to shoot for 3 or even 4.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why did the man get a job as a horse handler?

He wanted stable employment

What do you call a man with no arms or legs playing in the leaves?

Russell.