Insect Jokes

What did the insect say when he saw a gnat get hit?

He did gnat see that coming"

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What insect is the Wood Ant related to?

The Should Ant and the Could Ant.

Why won't you ever see an ant walk in a church?

They're insects. I'll show myself out.

Why don't ants go to church?

Because they are insects.

What do you call insects of the order Mantodea during mating season?

Laying mantises.

What insect would Richard Simmons be?

Is he a ladybug or a fruit fly?

What did the pink panther have all over his house after he fumigated for insects?

dead ants... dead ants... dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead aaaaantsss

Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?

They were looking for the ark tick.

Which insect didn't play well in goal ?

The fumble bee !

What's your favourite kind of insect?

FLY, YOU FOOLS!

What insect runs away from everything ?

A flee !

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What insect is good at math?

A: An account-ant.

What insect does a neckbeard keep as a pet?

M'ladybug

What happened to the man who turned into an insect ?

He just beetled off !

What do you call an insect that gets exposed to radiation but nothing of consequence happens to it?

A moot ant

Why was the insect kicked out of the wildlife preserve?

A: It was a litterbug.

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

What kind of insects to secret agents like?

as told by my 9 yr old) Spiders.

What insect can be spelled with just one letter?

Bee.

Which is the only insect that needs to wear shoes?

Mosqui-toes.

What do you get if you cross a firefly and a moth ?

An insect who can find its way around a dark wardrobe !

What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect ?

The Masked-quito !

What do insects learn at school ?

Mothmatics !

Why does the Fonz dress up as an insect when going on a journey?

Because he wants to get from ayy to bee.

What lives in gum trees ?

Stick insects !

What do you call an insect with magical powers?

A spelling bee.

What do you get if you cross a moth with a firefly?

An insect that can find its way around a dark closet.

What do you get if you cross an insect and a dance ?

A cricket ball !

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Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

When do chickens stop laying eggs?

Henopause

What's the difference between a Redditor and a brick?

The brick will eventually get laid.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why did little Dan dropped his ice cream?

He was hit by a buss

How many Mexicans does it take to wax a car?

1 if you hit him just right

Fruit Fly Jokes More Fruit Fly Jokes

What insect would Richard Simmons be?

Is he a ladybug or a fruit fly?

Why a fruit doesn't walk?

Because fruit flies

Dead Ant Jokes More Dead Ant Jokes

What did the Pink Panther say after he sprayed raid on an anthill?

Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant.*

What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead annnnnnnnttt.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What's better than winning the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded.

Who would win in a fight between John Cena and Chuck Norris?

Depends on who wrote the script.

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

When should you feel sorry for a skunk?

When its spray pump is out of order!

How would you order a Subway footlong in metric countries where they don't have feet?

By crawling to the counter " GET OUT

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

Why doesn't Coffee get along with milk in Germany?

Cause it doesn't want to be latte. Sorry. I just came up with this lame joke. Downvotes ahoy!

What do you have when you have a cow and two ducks?

A: Milk and quackers.

Ladybug Jokes More Ladybug Jokes

How many ladybugs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.

What insect would Richard Simmons be?

Is he a ladybug or a fruit fly?