Ash Jokes

How Do Priests Get High?

Snorting the left over ashes from Ash Wednesday...

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What did Ash tell his Pokemon?

Pokemon Go!

Why did the campfire turn into a forest fire?

It wanted to get off its ash.

What happened to the man with two wooden legs whose house burnt down?

He fell on his ash.

What do you have left after you burn a French alphabet?

H Edit: I don't like explaining jokes but since the first guy didn't get I might as well: When pronounced in a French accent it sounds like ash.

What does Sean Connery's nemesis and the crater of a volcano have in common?

They're both ash-holes.

What did pikachu say when ash fell off a cliff?

Pikachu, that's all he can say.

What did 1 volcano say to another volcano?

That ash.

What do you call a man with a flamethrower?

2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash

What do you say when Kim Kardashian burns to the ground?

Look at all that ash...

What did Ash say when Pikachu went missing?

Where did my Pokemon Go "

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What does Brock say?

Ash told me you were in here and I should take a pikachu. I'm sorry...

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Wednesday Jokes More Wednesday Jokes

What's the best day of the week to marry your gaming console?

Wednesday

How do you make a blonde laugh on a Wednesday?

Tell her a joke on a Monday!

Fill Jokes More Fill Jokes

What is the similarity between women and garbagebags?

You fill them up and toss them out the door!

Whats the difference between congress and parliament?

Ones filled with a bunch of baboons and the other just doesn't give a hoot during the day.

Pea Jokes More Pea Jokes

Why did the lettuce get arrested?

for disturbing the peas!

What are peas attracted to?

Chickpeas

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?

Because he was Snowden

Why didn't the fiddler have to pay for anything?

Because it was all on the house

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What do Jedi sheep sound like?

Dagobah.

What sound does a frog make while jacking off?

Rubbit Rubbit

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why did the snowman leave his wife?

Because she got plowed by another man.

Why do women always sleep on the left side of the bed?

BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO RIGHTS!!!!!

Cliff Jokes More Cliff Jokes

What do you get if you encase Beyonce in rubber and drop her off a cliff?

Bouncy Beyonce.

What do you call a bus full of lawyers driving off a cliff?

A Good Start.(http://www.youtube.com/watch v=obKLdou0LH0)

Snort Jokes More Snort Jokes

Why did the man snort Dr. Pepper?

He thought it was Coke!

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.