Alzheimer Jokes

What's the difference between amnesia and alzheimers?

I can't remember.

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What is Alzheimer's?

WHAT IS ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE?

What's the best part of having Alzheimer's?

You get to meet new people everyday!

How can you tell if someone has Alzheimer's?

A. How can you tell if someone has Alzheimers?

What's the best thing about alzheimers?

You're always meeting new people.

What's the name of that German guy that keeps hiding my stuff around the house?

Alzheimer, Grandma.

What's the worst thing about living with Alzheimer's?

I forgot

What's worse: Alzheimer or Parkinson?

Alzheimer. I'd rather drink my beer shaking than forget to to drink it.

What would you rather have Parkinson's or Alzheimer's?

At least with Parkinson's you have half a pint.

What's the best thing about living with alzheimer's?

You get to meet new people everyday.

What's the worst thing when being told you have Alzheimer's?

It doesn't just happen the once.

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What's the good part about having alzheimer's?

You can hide your own easter eggs.

How many people with alzheimer's does it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the otherside!

What is the preferred coffee drink of people with alzheimer's?

The Iforgotto

What is the worst about having alzheimer's and dierrhea?

You're running but don't know where to.

What did the US President with Alzheimer's ask his wife?

Who are you

What is the worst part about being told you have Alzheimer's?

It never happens just once.

What did Rihanna say to her grandma with Alzheimer's?

Oh na na, what's my name

What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?

A: Her IQ goes up!

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?

You meet new people every day.

What does person with Alzheimer's call What Are You Wearing Today?

What Am I Wearing Today

How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side!

What's the worst part about having Alzheimer's?

To get to the other side

What is the best part of having Alzheimer's?

Youre always meeting new people.

What do old people with Alzheimer's often say?

I don't remember.

What do you call pasta with alzheimers?

forgetti

How many people with Alzheimer's did it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the other side.

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Why do they thank me in the cafeteria when I pay for my food like I had a choice?

Just tell me "enjoy the diarrhea" and I'll move along.

What's the worst part about working in a glory hole?

You only get paid in tips.

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What happens when you die?

Me: You go to heaven. 4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff

Why should you distrust atoms?

Because they make up an awful lot of stuff. EDIT: Because I forgot about neutrinos.

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How many Alzheimer victims does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side

How many Alzheimer victims does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

How does Moses make beer?

Hebrews!

Why do rabbits prefer IPA's over other kinds of beers?

Because they use extra hops

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

What do you call a three humped camel?

Pregnant. (Credit goes to the trailer of Zootopia)

What doctors shop at Barnes and Noble?

Doctors without Borders. Credit to Max Scoville.

Bob Jokes More Bob Jokes

What was Bob the Builder called after he retired?

Bob.

What does he have now?

Diabetes. Bob has diabetes.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Pokmon does it take to change a light bulb?

Not sure, gotta catch them all first!

How many atheist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. It will happen itself.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why was the wife worried that her husband was a light drinker?

Every night, he'd go out and drink until it was light.

How often do I drink Blue Moon?

Once in awhile.