Bump Jokes

What does a barcode say if he bumps into another barcode?

SKU me

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Coffee Mug

Why did the bus driver drop his coffee?

Because he hit a bump in the road. What was the bump in the road? Little Timmy.

What did the grocery clerk say when he bumped his head when he was in the freezer?

Nothing, he was knocked out .

What did the tectonic plate say when it bumped into another?

Sorry, my fault.

Why did the giraffe cross the highway?

Because he bumped his head on the low-way! I guess we're doing 4 year old's jokes today :)

What did the fish say when it bumped its head?

Dam.

What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables?

Stephen Hawking.

What happens when two oxen bump into each other?

You have an oxident.

Why do they call them "country bumpkins"?

Because in the country, you bump your kin!

What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him?

A: I didn't do it on porpoise.

What's the difference between falling 2 ft and 200 ft?

200 ft: Aaaaaaaaa, bump 2 ft: Bump, aaaaaaaaa (Yes, it's an old, really old joke. Surprisingly haven't seen it here, yet.)

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Coffee Mug

Why did the dog have a gleam in his eye?

Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth.

What was the Italian hot tub that was so small it's occupants always bumped into each other called?

Ja-scusi.

What did the turkey say when he accidentally bumped into the president?

Pardon me.

What did the tectonic plate say to the other tectonic plate when he bumped into the him?

Sorry, my fault.

Why was the school principal not pleased when he bumped into an old friend ?

They were both driving their cars at the time !

Why does Hillary keep bumping into people at the White House?

So she can be pardoned.

What did Hillary say when she bumped into Donald after the election?

Pardon me"

What did the man say when he accidentally bumped into the astronaut?

I Apollo-gize"

How do Polish dogs get bumps on their heads?

Chasing parked cars.

How did the explorer react when the which doctor turned him into a miniature ballsack?

He was a little testie! Bump dump pshhh!

This joke may have profanity.

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Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why did the pirate with the eye patch drown?

Because he had no depth perception.

What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?

Doyouthinkhesaurus

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

What's faster, the speed of thought or the speed of light?

Neither, it's diarrhea. Before you could think about it or even turn the lights on, you've already shat yourself.

Why were you speeding when I stopped you?

Motorist: So I could race home to get my license and registration.

4 Year Old Jokes More 4 Year Old Jokes

What does God smell like?

Me: 4-year-old: Me: Nachos. 4-year-old: With cheese

What does that tell you?

4-year-old: I won.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if a girls tinder profile is fake?

They're attractive!

How can you tell a vampire has a cold?

They start coffin.

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Why is it easier to pick a prime minister than any other leader?

Because there's only 2 factors involved.

Why is the pH of a white girl either 9, 11 or 13?

1. She's basic. 2. She literally can't even.

Freezer Jokes More Freezer Jokes

Why did batman fill his freezer with water bottles?

Because he wanted just ice.

What did the grocery clerk say when he bumped his head when he was in the freezer?

Nothing, he was knocked out .

Highway Jokes More Highway Jokes

What are the similarities between a donkey and a Sikh?

They both look incredibly cute when they are little. They both grow up and go into the transportation business. Note: sikhs - or sardarji as they are commonly known in india - are the largest ethnic group in the truck driver profession. Punjabi food is available on highways across the country.

Why is there only a stairway to heaven but a highway to hell?

Easy. More traffic is going to hell.

Fork Jokes More Fork Jokes

Where do cars get the most flat tyres?

Where there is a fork in the road. This and other tyre jokes here:

What four letter word starts with F ends in K and if you can't get it you have to use your hands or fingers...?

A fork