Bump Jokes

What does a barcode say if he bumps into another barcode?

SKU me

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why did the bus driver drop his coffee?

Because he hit a bump in the road. What was the bump in the road? Little Timmy.

What did the grocery clerk say when he bumped his head when he was in the freezer?

Nothing, he was knocked out .

What did the tectonic plate say when it bumped into another?

Sorry, my fault.

Why did the giraffe cross the highway?

Because he bumped his head on the low-way! I guess we're doing 4 year old's jokes today :)

What did the fish say when it bumped its head?

Dam.

What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables?

Stephen Hawking.

What happens when two oxen bump into each other?

You have an oxident.

Why do they call them "country bumpkins"?

Because in the country, you bump your kin!

What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him?

A: I didn't do it on porpoise.

What's the difference between falling 2 ft and 200 ft?

200 ft: Aaaaaaaaa, bump 2 ft: Bump, aaaaaaaaa (Yes, it's an old, really old joke. Surprisingly haven't seen it here, yet.)

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Coffee Mug

Why did the dog have a gleam in his eye?

Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth.

What was the Italian hot tub that was so small it's occupants always bumped into each other called?

Ja-scusi.

What did the turkey say when he accidentally bumped into the president?

Pardon me.

What did the tectonic plate say to the other tectonic plate when he bumped into the him?

Sorry, my fault.

Why was the school principal not pleased when he bumped into an old friend ?

They were both driving their cars at the time !

Why does Hillary keep bumping into people at the White House?

So she can be pardoned.

What did Hillary say when she bumped into Donald after the election?

Pardon me"

What did the man say when he accidentally bumped into the astronaut?

I Apollo-gize"

How do Polish dogs get bumps on their heads?

Chasing parked cars.

How did the explorer react when the which doctor turned him into a miniature ballsack?

He was a little testie! Bump dump pshhh!

This joke may have profanity.

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What did God say to the alcoholic spelling bee judge?

Define intervention." Came up with this today at work.

Why did the lollipop cross the road?

Cause it was stuck to the chicken. I heard that on the radio today. I LOLed.

Tectonic Plate Jokes More Tectonic Plate Jokes

What does one tectonics plate say to another after an earthquake?

It's not your fault.

What did one tectonic plate say to the other tectonic plate?

Bro, do you even shift?"

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

How did Henry VIIIs wife enter the room?

Amble in (Anne Boyeyn) I made this joke up and am very proud of it :)

What would be Jeopardy?

If this popular game show told a joke, it would put the punchline first.

Translate Jokes More Translate Jokes

What do you call a slow transgender?

Translate.

Why is a cow that he jumps?

Because he higher and higher. (I translated the joke from Dutch, and yeah it's supposed to not make any sense, it just sounds funny, in Dutch at least. :-$)

Little Timmy Jokes More Little Timmy Jokes

Why did the bus driver drop his coffee?

Because he hit a bump in the road. What was the bump in the road? Little Timmy.

What's wrong with little Timmy?

Mom, sad): He went to Jared.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What is the difference between a baby and a alarm clock?

You only have to hit the alarm clock once to make it be quiet...

What do you call a former CIA agent when a winter storm hits?

Snowed-in

Freezer Jokes More Freezer Jokes

How do you make a dog meow?

Put it in the freezer for three days. Run it through a bandsaw. Meoooooow.

What did the grocery clerk say when he bumped his head when he was in the freezer?

Nothing, he was knocked out .

Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

Why does Caitlyn Jenner feel like her kids see though her?

I guess she is trans parent now Edit: *through

Why ya going to the airport?

Why ya going to the airport? Flying Somewhere?" : "How'd you guess?" : "Well, I saw your luggage, then when I saw the airplane ticket I put two and two together. So where you headed?" : "Aspen." : "Mmm, California.. Beautiful."