Herd Jokes

What did Nala tell Simba after seeing a herd of women on Black Friday?

You gotta Mufasa"

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How do you count a herd of cattle?

How do you count a herd of cattle? Q: How do you count a herd of cattle? A: With a cowculator.

What did the sheep say to the sheepdog faking deafness?

You herd me!"

What do you call a big cat disguised to blend in with a herd of sheep?

A sheopard.

What did the Shepard say when he saw the sheep?

I herd that!"

What's the difference between an attorney and a herd of buffalo?

The attorney charges more.

What did tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants in the distance?

Look, a herd of elephants in the distance!"

Why can't you keep a secret from cattle?

They herd

What did the farmer say when the townspeople told him all of his cows were in town..?

I herd.

Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?

She thought children should be seen and not herded!

Who lost a herd of elephants ?

Big bo peep !

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How do cows get their gossip?

They herd it through the bovine.

What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office?

An encownter group.

What have you been doing" asked Jane. "Chasing a herd of elephants on vines" "Really ?

said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground !"

What has 200 legs 50 noses and is very loud?

A herd of stampeding aardvarks!

What did the shepherd's wife say to the shepherd?

You herd.

What did Jesus say to the flock of sheep?

I herd that.

Why aren't cowboy jokes funny?

Ya herd one, ya herd em all.

What happened to the lost cattle?

Nobody's herd.

What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit?

The first herd shot round the world!

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Thunder Jokes More Thunder Jokes

How do you stop a thundering herd of Apes?

Hold up your arm and say "Go back you didn't say 'May I'"

What did the Catholic Mexican say to greet the Greek God of Thunder?

hey zeus!"

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How do mathematicians count x-men?

Permutations.

What does it sounds like when a Japanese Homer Simpson forgets how to count to 11?

Nin, ten, " ....I'll leave now.

Fake Jokes More Fake Jokes

What's the difference between a WWE wrestler and a soccer player?

A WWE wrestler will get up after faking an injury.

What's the best form of protection when you don't have a condom?

A fake name

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

Why would somebody punch a sheep?

Ewe wouldn't understand.

What do elephants use for tampons?

Sheep. Why do elephants have trunks? Sheep don't have strings.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between America and a yogurt?

After 200 years a yogurt will develop a culture.

What's the difference between a black man and a white man in the US?

A white man makes it to prison.

Farmer Jokes More Farmer Jokes

Why was the farmer hopping mad ?

Because someone had trodden on his corn !

How does a farmer send messages?

By e-i-e-i-o-mail.

Ya Jokes More Ya Jokes

Who ya gonna call?

GEORGE ZIMMERMAN

How'd ya get that?

asked the bartender. "From my husband," she replied. "But I thought he was out of town " he asked. "So did I!" she said.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why does the spanish dude keep walking left?

Because izquierda going right.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now.