Night Stand Jokes

What does someone from Alabama say after a one night stand?

Wham, bam, thank you fam"

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What does a robot do after a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

What do a washing machine and a one night stand have in common?

a washing machine doesn't follow you around for a week after you put a load in it..

What does a hardware salesman do on a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

What does a mechanic do for a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

What do robots do on a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

What does a robot do at the end of one night stand?

He falls off

What do you do when your one night stand doesn't take Plan B?

Plan C-ya.

Why doesn't Kirk like to have one-night stands?

Because the girls always cling on him afterwards.

What does a carpenter do after one night stand?

A matching one for the other side of the bed.

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What do you call a one-night stand?

A humpty-dumpty!

What does the Doctor say on a one-night stand going wrong?

It's bigger on the inside(http://www.youtube.com/watch v=6zXDo4dL7SU)

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What kind of exercise did Jesus do?

Crossfit

Why can't Jesus play hockey?

He keeps getting NAILED TO THE BOARDS!...

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What is the British equivalent of wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am?

Honey!" Nut "Cheerio!"

Why do teachers use a bamboo cane?

Because when the cane goes 'bam' the child goes boo!

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What are the cheapest kind of nuts?

Deer nuts, they're under a buck.

What does a hardware salesman do on a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

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What is the British equivalent of wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am?

Honey!" Nut "Cheerio!"

Why did the band Wham! break up?

Because he didn't wake him up before he went went. It's , people.

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Who says there's no life on Mars?

Why only today they found a Beagle!

What was the first thing the stowaway to Mars said after he landed?

Just out of Curiosity...

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Whats long and black and hard to cut into?

The line at KFC

What was the terrorist's pick up line?

hey babe, I've got a large pipe bomb and I never pre-maturely detonate."

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How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

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What do they call the doctor who released private health information after he got mad at his being given away?

A Hipaacrite

Why don't they use Macs/iPads in hospitals?

Because using an Apple a day keeps the doctors away.