Battle Jokes

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Why do they call them the minute men?

Because they lasted a minute in battle

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Why do French tanks have rearview mirrors?

So they can see the battle.

What do Caitlyn Jenner and WWII have in common?

The Battle of the Bulge.

What do you call souvenirs from the last battle of the Napoleonic wars?

Wat-heirlooms.

What's the difference between RPGs and Drunken Style Kung Fu?

In the first, you must drink a lot of liquids before battle, but in the latter, you only pretend.

What is amnesia?

Is it: A) memory loss A) memory loss Or 3) The Battle of Hastings

Why did Germany win so many battles in WW I?

They had baron.

What did the armless warrior say to his opponent before battle?

You're about to meet da-feet!

What do you call a battle of wordplay?

Pun-fu fighting

How is the Battle for Hogwarts like a Black Friday sale?

Weasley twins are 50% off

What did General Custer's advisors tell him before the Battle of Little Bighorn?

Don't do it, it's Siouxicide

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Who would win a battle between an orangutan and a hyena?

I don't know, but we'll find out November 8, 2016.

Why did the twitter army lose all their battles?

Because they kept retweeting.

How did the aquarium win the battle?

Giant Fish Tanks.

Why does the North Korean military always lose their battles?

xpost /r/meanjokes Every single shot at them is at a chink in their armor.

What Does an Angry Sheep Say in Battle?

Fus Ro BAAAAAAAA.

Why were there only 40,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?

They only had 2 trucks

What do you call a French General who charged into battle and died?

Napoleon Blownaparte

What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?

Steer Wars.

Who leads the corn into battle?

The kernal! Bahahahaha

What happens in a battle between storm troopers and red shirts?

Star Trek) The storm troopers all miss, and the red shirts all die

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What does velcro yell as it charges into battle?

ATTACH!

What's a bodybuilder's favorite fight of the American Civil War?

The Battle of Gaine's Mill

Why are there windows on the back of French tanks?

So they can watch the battle

Who won the Battle of the Bulge?

The guy with the bulge in his sock ...

Why do Chinese warriors die so easily in battle?

No matter how much protective garments they wear, there's still a chink in the armor.

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Liquid Jokes More Liquid Jokes

How many states of matter are there?

5: solids, liquids, gases, plasma, and black lives

Why can't liquids with high viscosity get insurance?

They resist Flo.

Baron Jokes More Baron Jokes

Who's there ! Baron ! Baron who ?

Baron mind who you're talking to !

Why did Germany win so many battles in WW I?

They had baron.

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

What word has the most letters in it?

Postbox.

Who's there ! Armenia ! Armenia who ?

Armenia every word I say !

End Jokes More End Jokes

What do you call a loaf of bread when you cut off both ends?

A: Endless Bread!

What word that begins with "N" and ends with "R" do you never want to call a black person?

Neighbor

Rap Battle Jokes More Rap Battle Jokes

What is another word for a rap battle?

Black-on-black rhyme

What do you call a rap battle?

Black-on-black rhyme

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What do people say when you win a game in Egypt?

Game, *Set,* and match.

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded

Caitlyn Jenner Jokes More Caitlyn Jenner Jokes

What super hero league is Caitlyn Jenner part of?

The X-Men

Why did Caitlyn Jenner have a differently spelled version of Caitlin?

Because she can't get rid of the Y chromosome

Control Jokes More Control Jokes

What would you call a supervillain that could control every part of the electro-magnetic spectrum except 495-570 nm?

Magento

What muscle do Egyptian soldiers generally lose control of, shortly before major battles?

The sphinxster ....