Spill Jokes

What's it called when you make sure you don't spill the wine?

Being carafe-ful.

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What's the phrase for when a bird spills a drink?

Party fowl.

What do you call it when you spill meth into your cake mix?

Baking Bad

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

Whats the first thing you do when you spill something on your keyboard?

Try to disable sticky keys.

Why don't they make bouncy houses for adults?

You'd spill your drink.

What happened to the hippy chemistry teacher when he spilled his chemicals?

He tripped on acid

Why did I spill root beer on a DNS server?

Just because ICANN.

What do we call of spill of the world's most abundant resource?

A sunny day.

What did the spilled noodles say to the sauce pan?

I'm floored!

Why did the ebo(l)la patient yell?

Someone spilled wine (bolla) on his ELECTRONIC. (E)phones.

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What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

What does the DJ do when he spills acid?

He drops the base!

Why did the Green Giant get a new lid?

Because he always spills the beans.

What does Monsieur Homer say after spilling water on himself?

D'EAU!

What's your best limerick?

There once was a fellow McSweeny Who spilled some gin on his weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth Then slipped his girlfriend a martini

Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk?

Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.

What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

You can spill your beer on a fiddle.

Why was the Dalai Lama not upset after he spilled spaghetti sauce?

Because it happened in the *past*a.

What do you call a hispanic man who spilled his nachos?

A messycan

What happens when someone spills really hot coffee on you?

You will get burned, you idiot.

Why did the egg spill his guts at an AA meeting?

He was addicted to crack.

Why can you never trust a clumsy barista?

Because she's always spilling the beans!

What did the pope say when he spilled the sacramental wine?

Do we have any papal towels

What do you call it when you spill your morning drive-through beverage on your virus scan software?

Getting McCafe on McAfee

Why can you trust a coffee roaster?

Because he never spills the beans :-)

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What would happen if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with a Saint Bernard?

It would drink the brandy it would carry and act like a big Gorilla!

What do you call an organized group of people waiting to get drinks?

Punchline

Carpet Jokes More Carpet Jokes

What do Mexican's put under their carpet?

Underlay

What STD is found most commonly among lesbians?

Carpet burn

Root Jokes More Root Jokes

What's the worst part about a potato famine?

You can't get to the root of the problem.

What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel?

I am Root.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens to a Canadian's car when it breaks down?

The owner calls Triple Eh.

What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

Bird Jokes More Bird Jokes

What bird can write underwater?

A ball-point Penguin!

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker ?

A bird that talks in morse code !

Floor Jokes More Floor Jokes

What sound does a pubic hair make right before it hits the floor?

Ptui"

What did the floor say to the desk?

I can see your drawers!

Bouncy House Jokes More Bouncy House Jokes

Why didn't you talk to me about renting a bouncy house?

me stops jumping: You would have said no

Why don't they make bouncy houses for adults?

You'd spill your drink.

Meth Jokes More Meth Jokes

Why was the new Mexican sad?

He was out of meth. Why was the old Mexican sad All his friends are dead.

What's the difference between math and meth?

One of them ruins your life. The other's just meth.