Poop Jokes

How can you tell if you have a mature or an immature sense of humor?

poop.

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What do you call a guy who can't poop?

A constipatient

How do you write poop in Australia?

dood

What do you call a Chatbook that consists solely of pictures of your poop?

A Shatbook.

What do you need to poop in the forest?

Toiletries

How long does it take for a black woman to poop?

Nine months.

What did the poop said to the other poop?

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!

What did one poop say to the other poop?

You smell

Why do bears poop in the woods?

So nobody will see their bare (bear) bottom!

What did the poop say to the pee when he was hitting on her?

I may be a two but your an eight..

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What did the Baskin-Robbins manager say to the employee that wanted to date a co-worker?

Don't poop where you scoop.

Why couldn't the poop get flushed down the drain?

Because it was deterred.

What did Captain Picard call his poop?

Captain's log

What does a witch take when she can't poop?

Hexlax

What did Noah do with all the poop?

Threw it overboard. it formed the UK. Taken from here:

Who's there? Orange. Orange who?

Orange you glad I painfully waited until I was done cooking your food to take a poop?

How bad is it to poop your pants?

It Depends

What do you give and take at the same time?

a poop

What's the difference between a bucket of poop and a lawyer?

A bucket.

Where were you supposed to poop?

2-year-old: The potty. Me: So why didn't you 2: I'm too busy.

How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops?

Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a.

How do you fail a urine test with a clean sample?

Poop in the specimen cup.

What is a small, one story home made of poop called?

A dungalow

What do you call it when your Stepmother poops?

A Step-Stool

What's brown and rhymes with poop?

Snoop Dogg

What is it called when a hacker poops?

Logging out

What does Hulk say when he poops?

IBM!

What's the first rule here, boys?

Kid:Don't poop your pants M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.

When you say you don't feel good "Are you pregnant?

people without kids "Do you have to poop " -people with kids

What do you call a sarcastic man who steps in poop?

Feces-tious

What do you call a poop that went to med school?

Dookie Howser

What do you say when a singer/songwriter poops on your car?

CELINE WUT R U DION

What if I have to poop?

D: Then you should go now. *awkward pause* "Thanks I feel better."

What does poop have in common with the Boston Rioters?

They're both revolting! *Baltimore. I clearly don't know my B-Cities.

When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up?

This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.

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Mature Jokes More Mature Jokes

What is a Mature man who likes young women?

An Inmate

What's the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

Eventually the savings bond will mature and begin to earn money.

Topic Jokes More Topic Jokes

Whats th first joke you remember hearing or that you told as a kid?

Mine is: What is the white stuff in bird poop? (That is also bird poop.) edit: til you can't edit the topic to fix spelling errors...

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!