Poop Jokes

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!

What did one poop say to the other poop?

You smell

Why do bears poop in the woods?

So nobody will see their bare (bear) bottom!

What did the poop say to the pee when he was hitting on her?

I may be a two but your an eight..

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What did the Baskin-Robbins manager say to the employee that wanted to date a co-worker?

Don't poop where you scoop.

Why couldn't the poop get flushed down the drain?

Because it was deterred.

What did Captain Picard call his poop?

Captain's log

What does a witch take when she can't poop?

Hexlax

What did Noah do with all the poop?

Threw it overboard. it formed the UK. Taken from here:

Who's there? Orange. Orange who?

Orange you glad I painfully waited until I was done cooking your food to take a poop?

How bad is it to poop your pants?

It Depends

What do you give and take at the same time?

a poop

What's the difference between a bucket of poop and a lawyer?

A bucket.

Where were you supposed to poop?

2-year-old: The potty. Me: So why didn't you 2: I'm too busy.

How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops?

Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a.

How do you fail a urine test with a clean sample?

Poop in the specimen cup.

What is a small, one story home made of poop called?

A dungalow

What do you call it when your Stepmother poops?

A Step-Stool

What's brown and rhymes with poop?

Snoop Dogg

What is it called when a hacker poops?

Logging out

What does Hulk say when he poops?

IBM!

What's the first rule here, boys?

Kid:Don't poop your pants M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.

When you say you don't feel good "Are you pregnant?

people without kids "Do you have to poop " -people with kids

What do you call a sarcastic man who steps in poop?

Feces-tious

What do you call a poop that went to med school?

Dookie Howser

What do you say when a singer/songwriter poops on your car?

CELINE WUT R U DION

What if I have to poop?

D: Then you should go now. *awkward pause* "Thanks I feel better."

What does poop have in common with the Boston Rioters?

They're both revolting! *Baltimore. I clearly don't know my B-Cities.

When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up?

This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.

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Why Would Clint Eastwood be Bad at Restructuring a Business?

He can't remember if he fired 5 or 6.

What bleeds once a month in the mouth?

Me, when I remember to floss once a month. Edit: account got hacked and showed something different. Sorry about that

Poope Jokes More Poope Jokes

What did the otter say to the guy whose ankle he pooped on?

Spraint your ankle!" Just in case:

What do you call some who's too pooped to Pope?

Ex-Benedict

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why do people wash their clothes in Tide?

Because it's too cold out tide.

Why can't your jokes ever make NRA members laugh?

Because jokes don't make people laugh, people make people laugh.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why were all the girls looking at the piece of paper?

Because it was ripped.

What kind of girl does a hamburger like?

Any girl named Patty!

Black Woman Jokes More Black Woman Jokes

What do you call a black woman on the moon?

An astronaut.

How does a black women know if she's pregnant?

All the cotton on her tampon has been picked off.

Mature Jokes More Mature Jokes

What's the difference between a millennial and a mutual fund?

A mutual fund will eventually mature and make money

What's the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

Eventually the savings bond will mature and begin to earn money.

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

Why do tourists always take pictures in Paris?

Because the tower is an Eiffel.

What do you call a picture of Simon Pegg's brother?

JPEG

Side Jokes More Side Jokes

What's the definition of perfect pitch?

A: When an accordion is thrown down the toilet without it touching the sides.

How do you change the number of sides on a Pentagon?

Intersect it with a plane.