Toast Jokes

What's the difference between Frenchmen and some toast?

You can make soldiers out of toast!

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What did Shakespeare spread on his toast?

Blue Sonnet

What do astronauts put on their toast?

Space Jam.

Why did the plane crash?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread! Now he's toast

What do termites put on their toast?

Door jamb.

What does the Queen put on her toast?

Maamilade! Tada....... anyone? Anyone? I'll get my coat

What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast?

Marma'lady

What do you get if you put morphine on your toast?

Crumfortably Numb!

What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

How do you start a rave in Africa?

Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling

How do al-Qaeda like their toast?

Bean-laden

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the dark side.

What if they found the face of Jesus in a piece of toast but it was actually Jesus?

This is my body, I'm nice with jam."

What kind of cheese?

Me: "American..." Her: "Want it toasted " Me: "I'll just make it myself."

What do you call a piece of toast on the ceiling?

An Ethiopian rave.

What s the difference between toilet paper and toast?

Toast is brown on both sides.

What happened at the cannibal's wedding party?

They toasted the bride and groom.

Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?

Because people kept toasting him!

What do you call the outer edge of a piece of bread that has been toasted?

Crusty

What would Ed Sheeran taste like on a piece of toast?

gingerbread

How do you start a rave in Uganda ?

Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling

Did you hear about the bread factory burning down?

They say the business is toast.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell off the cliff?

Nothing, she had her mittens on.

What is Helen Keller's favorite color?

Corduroy!

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What would you get if Geddy Lee, Neil Peart and Alex Lifeson all died in a plane crash?

Take your time, there's no Rush...

Disguise Jokes More Disguise Jokes

What's yellow on the outside and grey on the inside ?

An elephant disguised as a banana !

What is Green and Oblong?

A well disguised orange!

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What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl?

Just flush it like everybody else does."

How do you fit 3 babies in a bowl?

Blender. How do you get them out? Chips.

Toilet Paper Jokes More Toilet Paper Jokes

What do the U.S.S. Enterprise and Toilet Paper have in common?

They both wipe out Klingons.

What do you have when you just used the toilet and realized there's no toilet paper?

A real mess on your hands.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why does the Dalai Lama go to the bookies everyday?

Because he likes Tibet.

What happened when Justin Bieber went to Michael Jackson's house?

Nothing, Michael liked boys.

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How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

What do you call a shop that sells aquatic vessels?

A boat-ique. ...I'll get my coat.

Slice Jokes More Slice Jokes

What did one slice of bread say to the other at the end of a game of chess?

It's stale, mate."

What do you call a baby seal between two slices of bread?

A clubbed sandwich