Belt Jokes

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

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What does a belt like to do?

Getting Waisted

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time...

How do you tell if someone is a safety engineer?

They are wearing suspenders and a belt.

Why did the belt get locked up?

A: He held up a pair of pants.

What's the difference between an Irish Catholic and a Roman Catholic?

A few notches on the belt buckle.

Why did the belt get arrested?

Because it held up a pair of pants. I'll show myself out.

What does the zero say to the eight?

I like your belt. Ok, ok. I know it's elementary, but I still love it.

What did the hat say to the belt?

You hang around I'll go on ahead

What did Whitney Houston's coroner say as he unbuckled his belt?

It's not right, but it's OK

Why shouldn't you wear a watch on your belt?

It'd be a waste of time.

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Why is your voice gone?

Are you ok Me:*thinks back to me belting out Ariana Grande's "Dangerous Woman"* I'm ok...allergies are bad.

What are the three biggest lies an Oklahoma State fan tells?

I WON this belt buckle, I OWN that truck, and I swear to God I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

Why is wrestling stupid?

It's a bunch of guy's without pants fighting for a belt....

What did 0 say to 8?

Why's your belt so tight bruh

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time *door closes on way out*

What did the number zero say to the number 8?

I like your belt

How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?

A: He's the one with the belt buckle that matches the impression in her forehead.

Why, Bro?

B1: Men with no pants... Fighting for a belt... WTF

Why bro?

Men with no pants fighting for a belt.. WTF

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time.

Why did the belt go to prison?

He held up a pair of pants!

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A Roman Catholic.

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A Roman Catholic

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Why didn't Jesus ever play in the NHL?

because every time he tried he got nailed to the boards!

When do clocks die?

When their time is up.

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What happens when you give a cow a joint?

The steaks are high

What happened when the two angels got married?

They lived harpily ever after!

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What do you call an obese terrorist who plays for the Yankees?

Derek Bin Jeter

What group would an obese racist join?

The cake-cake-cake.

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Whats the odd one out ?

The man on the moon? Santa Claus? Or an honest Lawyer? Yes you got it Santa. The other two are figments of the imagination.

What do you call a man who can smell the future?

Nostrildamus

Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

Why do they ask you if you would like paper or plastic at the grocery store?

Because baggers can't be choosers,

What do you say to someone who is making a cardboard belt?

That's a waist of paper!"

Suspender Jokes More Suspender Jokes

Why were the suspenders arrested?

A: For holding up a pair of pants.

What happened when the man lost his suspenders?

He became one of those For Whom the Belt Holds

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why did the suspenders get arrested?

A: Because they held up a pair of pants.

Why did the lettuce get arrested?

for disturbing the peas!