Belt Jokes

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

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What does a belt like to do?

Getting Waisted

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time...

How do you tell if someone is a safety engineer?

They are wearing suspenders and a belt.

Why did the belt get locked up?

A: He held up a pair of pants.

What's the difference between an Irish Catholic and a Roman Catholic?

A few notches on the belt buckle.

Why did the belt get arrested?

Because it held up a pair of pants. I'll show myself out.

What does the zero say to the eight?

I like your belt. Ok, ok. I know it's elementary, but I still love it.

What did the hat say to the belt?

You hang around I'll go on ahead

What did Whitney Houston's coroner say as he unbuckled his belt?

It's not right, but it's OK

Why shouldn't you wear a watch on your belt?

It'd be a waste of time.

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Why is your voice gone?

Are you ok Me:*thinks back to me belting out Ariana Grande's "Dangerous Woman"* I'm ok...allergies are bad.

What are the three biggest lies an Oklahoma State fan tells?

I WON this belt buckle, I OWN that truck, and I swear to God I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

Why is wrestling stupid?

It's a bunch of guy's without pants fighting for a belt....

What did 0 say to 8?

Why's your belt so tight bruh

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time *door closes on way out*

What did the number zero say to the number 8?

I like your belt

How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?

A: He's the one with the belt buckle that matches the impression in her forehead.

Why, Bro?

B1: Men with no pants... Fighting for a belt... WTF

Why bro?

Men with no pants fighting for a belt.. WTF

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time.

Why did the belt go to prison?

He held up a pair of pants!

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Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What kind of shoes do thieves wear?

Sneakers.

What kind of pants do the Mario Brothers wear?

Denim denim denim.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

How does Jesus like his hotwings?

Tinder and Mild.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

Hat Jokes More Hat Jokes

What did the hat say to the scarf?

You hang around here while I go on ahead.

What did the hat say to the other hat?

You stay here. I'll go on a head.

Pair Jokes More Pair Jokes

Why did a pair of tomatoes play footsie?

To-mate-toes!

What did the pair of flip-flops say to the approaching man with disgusting feet?

Shoe.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to wendy on her way to neverland?

She peed her pants (read out loud)

What happened to the T?

America: "We threw it in the Harbor!"

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Why is a bad government like a bikini?

Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.

How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two: One to hold it one to hammer it in.

Zero Jokes More Zero Jokes

What's it like being frozen to absolute zero?

It's 0K.

What do Zero and Nil have in common?

Absolutely nothing

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time does an Asian go to the dentist?

Toof Hurty.

What did T-Rex say after doing yoga for the first time?

dinosore