Roman Jokes

What's a pirate's favourite Roman numeral?

You might think it's II, but his true love be the C.

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Why can't Roman Reigns light a campfire?

Because he doesn't carry any matches!

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

Why should you never high-five a Roman?

They might give you Hi-V back!

What do you call a Roman with a wet mustache and a smile?

Gladiator.

What did the Roman say when the Greek accused him of stealing his gods?

It was all a myth-take!

What do you call a lost legion?

A Roman army

How many Roman pirates does it take to change a light bulb?

I I

What is zero in Roman numerals?

Nothing

Why were all Roman buildings made of stone?

They crucified the carpenter.

How did the Roman cut his hair?

Caesar

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What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

What do you call a Roman fighter with curly hair in his teeth?

Gladiator. (Glad he ate her)

What do you get when you ask for a Roman pinch hitter?

An Italian sub!

What did jesus say to the romans after he rose on the third day and talked about their behavior?

Yall nailed it.

What do Romans use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars.

What did the Romans say to each other after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it!"

Why are 490 Romans funny?

Because XD

What do you call a Roman warrior with hair in his mouth?

Gladiator Get it? Glad He Ate Her..

How did Roman magistrates keep fit?

Pontius Pilates.

What did the old Frankish barbarians say to the Roman invasion?

You don't have the to do it!"

Why was Jesus I such good shape?

Crossfit. Why did the Romans hate Jesus so much? He wouldn't shut up about crossfit.

How did the Romans split up their empire?

With a pair of Caesars. (Thanks )

What did the Roman premature ejaculater say?

Veni, Vidi, Veni.

Why was the dieting Roman so thrilled?

His toga size went from L to XL.

What was a poor Roman citizen's favorite breakfast?

Fruity Plebbles.

What's it called when a Roman sees too many flashing colors?

A Julius Seizure.

How many Romans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why did the Romans build straight roads ?

So their soldiers didn't go around the bend !

Why didn't the Romans find algebra very challenging?

Because X was always 10

What do Romans say when their wives run away?

Caesar!

What mouse was a Roman emperor ?

Julius Cheeser !

When in Rome do as the Romans you know?

Slaughters entire office and imposes grain taxes on peasantry

What do you call a Roman with pubic hair in his teeth?

Gladiator

What is it called when a Roman gets really sick?

Chicken Pox Romana

What do you call a smiling Roman with a hair in his teeth?

Gladiator.

What taste good?

Tender: I usually like rum in Diet Coke. Man: how do you get a Roman in a Diet Coke Tender: *facepalm*

Why did the roman only smoke 490 blunts and not 500?

Because XD

Why are 490 Romans are funny ?

Because XD Edit : Sorry about the typo the second are is not supposed to be here

What people travel the most?

Romans.

What is a Roman wrestlers favorite meal?

JOHN CENA

What do you call a Roman with a hair in his teeth?

Gladiator.

What Roman dictator suffered from Epilepsy?

Julius Seizure.

What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?

Lil Caesars

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What do you call an old soldier who has been sprinkled in salt and pepper?

A seasoned veteran.

What do you call a retired soldier who's been blighted with mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran

End Jokes More End Jokes

What's the difference between life and wife's rant?

Life eventually ends.

What gets longer the more you cut it at both ends?

A ditch.

Gladiator Jokes More Gladiator Jokes

What do you call a Roman with pubic hair in his teeth?

Gladiator

What do you call a Roman fighter with curly hair in his teeth?

Gladiator. (Glad he ate her)

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

What are red heads good for?

Lighting fires.

Why did you stop your car get out and yell "coward" at the traffic signal?

Motorist: The light just turned yellow.

Soldier Jokes More Soldier Jokes

Why did the Romans build straight roads ?

So their soldiers didn't go around the bend !

What do you call a soldier who survived pepper spray and mustard gas?

A seasoned veteran

Roman Soldier Jokes More Roman Soldier Jokes

What did the roman soldier say after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it

True Love Jokes More True Love Jokes

What happened when the monster kissed his one true love?

He left lip prints on the mirror!

What is everyone writing songs about?

John: revolution Paul: forgiveness George: true love Ringo: hmm, a submarine or maybe an octopus

Roman Reign Jokes More Roman Reign Jokes

What's the difference between Superman and Roman Reigns?

Superman's powers are all natural .

Why can't Roman Reigns light a campfire?

Because he doesn't carry any matches!