Love Jokes

What is the name of the martial arts discipline that the anime girl that you are in love with practices?

Wai fu.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways... Five.

Why does Calvin Harris like reading fairy tales?

He loves a good happy ending

Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?

Because you always heart the one you love.

Why don't tennis players ever get married?

Because love means nothing to them.

What's one thing you hated as a kid but love as an adult?

Molestation.

What did the butcher say to the cow?

I love you for your inner beauty.

What's the difference between like, love and lust?

Spit Swallow Gargle

What tattoo should I get?

TATTOO ARTIST: Something meaningful that represents love and connection. ME: One ravioli on my thigh please.

Where did I get my scarf?

It's a CVS receipt. You love it Oh thank you very much.

How do you know if someone truly loves fast food?

It has a special place in their hearts

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the Jamaican man say when asked why he didn't mind going to jail for stealing the Pikachu card?

I love the pokey, mon.

Why do hipsters love Harrison Ford?

Because he's Indie!

Why did you lead me on a five-state chase?

Driver: I love to travel.

What would you get if you crossed a monster with the god of love?

A stupid Cupid!

Who loves hamburgers French fries and ants?

Ronald MacAardvark!

What is your location?

Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up

What do calculators do when they love each other?

They multiply!

Why do tennis players never get married?

Because Love means nothing to them.

What does a necrophiliac say to confess his love for someone?

You're dead to me"

What's the difference between a Catholic Priest... ... and an e-cigarette-puffing GI Joe Action Figure collector?

Well, one is a toy-loving vapist...

What type of monster really loves dance music?

A: The boogieman.

How do you know your boyfriend loves you?

SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.

What do you call an "Asian" that loves using moisturizer?

Laotian.

Why are your eyes dilated?

Me: "Your eyes dilate up to 45% when you look at something you love" Mom: "What were you looking at " Me: "Memes"

How are monster trucks made?

ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: glares ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane

Why did everyone love the fisherman?

He was a real catch

What do geeks and nerds love but cant have?

80085

Why do orphans play tennis?

It's the only way they can get love.

What's black and white . . . What's black and white and loves kids?

Michael Jackson

Why does all of Jared Fogle's music sound the same?

Because he loves to abuse A Minor.

Finally realized why my plant sits around doing nothing all day...

He loves his pot.

Lady: How do I spread love in this cruel world?

Random Dude: [...💘]

What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?

A stega-snore-us.

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Flower Jokes More Flower Jokes

What did the ghost give his girlfriend on Halloween?

What did the ghost give his girlfriend on Halloween? A "booquet" of flower.

How do you celebrate an Ethiopian child's first birthday?

By laying flowers on their grave.

Seek Jokes More Seek Jokes

How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?

A: One.

Why can't you play hide and go seek with a Pokemon?

Because he'll peek-at-chu!

Aunt Jokes More Aunt Jokes

What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose?

Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers! Son: Mom, what do you love Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions!

Why was the ant so confused?

All of if its uncles are aunts!

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why did Clemson choose orange as its team color?

So they could play football on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up garbage the rest of the week.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in a pile of leaves?

Rustle

Ewe Jokes More Ewe Jokes

How are the band "The Scorpions" and rural shepherds alike?

They just wanna be loved by ewe. Made up this joke/pun at work the other day (I'm sure I'm not the first), decided to subject you all to it. All apologies to shepherds who are not physical with your sheep.

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scot?

One says "hey, you, get off of my cloud", and the other says "hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe".

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

How to not get scolded by your parents if you want GTA V?

Mom! I want to play GTA V! Giant Turtles ATTACK V!

Why was the cookie crying?

Because it's mom was a wafer so long.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin?

Because his life is at stake.

What did one vampire say to the other vampire?

Is that you coffin

Plato Jokes More Plato Jokes

Why did the greek philosopher break in two?

He was made out of Plato

What's a philosophers favorite toy?

Plato