Alligator Jokes

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator!

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Why don't call centers hire alligators?

They can't croco-dial the phones.

Why did the alligator go to Disney World?

To get some tots!

How can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

One you'll see in a while, the other you'll see later. Credit to Mitch hedburg

What happens after an alligator commits a crime?

You call an investigator

What do you get when you cross a stock broker, a detective, and an alligator?

An investigator.

Which alligator lives in the arctic?

The refridgegator.

What do you get if you cross an alligator with Sherlock Holmes ?

An Investigator.

What's green and bad for your eyes?

An alligator.

What did the Alligator say to the turtle?

Can I bayou a drink?

What is the primary job of an alligator?

make allegations

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What do you get when you cross Miley Cyrus with an alligator?

A caiman like a wrecking ball.

Why was the alligator sad?

It had a kiddie meal but didn't get a toy.

What do you call an alligator that wins a race?

A chompion. (7-year old me thought he was very clever.)

Why won't alligators attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy

What do you call an alligator that always starts fights?

An instigator!

Why couldn't the alligator send e-mails on his PC?

Because it was on old croc.

What do you call an alligator that starts something?

An insti-GATOR!

What do you call an alligator with a map?

A Navigator.

Whats the difference between a chicken and an alligator?

I don't know.

Who's there ! Alligator ! Alligator who ?

Alligator for her birthday was a card !

How often do I see alligators?

Ocajunally

What do you call an alligator from India whose in charge of telling everyone what to do?

A Deli-gator...I'll be here all week!

Why couldn't the alligator satisfy his lover?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

What do you get when you cross a child and an alligator?

An alligator.

What do you give an alligator who is having trouble hearing?

A gator-aid. Bet you did see that one coming:P

Why did the alligator wear a vest?

He was an investigator!

What is worse than an alligator with toothache ?

A centipede with athlete's foot !

What have 70 teeths and 2 eyes?

An alligator. Now what have 2 teeths and 70 eyes -A retirement home.

What do you call an alligator who likes to wear vests?

gt- () An investigator

Why do pigs run into trees?

To shake out the alligators. I've never seen an alligator In a tree. That's because the pigs do such a good job.

What are the two biggest differences between an alligator and a crocodile?

The spelling and pronunciation.

What do you call a crocodile when it robs drinks?

Gator-raid. &lt3 edit: Learned the difference between a crocodile and alligator.

What do you call am alligator in a vest?

An illogical situation imagined by a child.

What do you call an alligator trying to start trouble?

An instagator!

How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

You will see one later and one in a while.

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An in-vest-igator!

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Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

What batteries do turtles use?

Durashells

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Why can't redheads get drunk?

Because they only drink Ginger Ale.

Why did the cow drink his own milk?

He needed the cowlcium.

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What is the difference between a black man and an elevator?

An elevator can raise a child.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies?

Disney movies can still touch children.

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What kind of cards do donkeys send out near Christmas?

A: Mule-tide greetings.

Why does AMD call having 2 or more cards Crossfire?

Because no matter what card you cross, and how many, you're bound to start a fire.

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Why did the woman's visit to wall street land her in the hospital?

Because the stock broker!

What do you get when you cross a stock broker, a detective, and an alligator?

An investigator.

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Why do abcdefghijklmopqrstuvwxy &amp z hate hanging out with the letter n?

Because n always has to be the center of attention.

What did off-center say to tilted?

I don't know either he told me to askew!"