Gas Jokes

Why did France really surrender to Germany?

Just thought of this earlier in the shower... Had gas ever since.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What has 10 letters and starts with gas?

Automobile.

What is similar between gas and water?

Not much, but in Flint they are both regular and unleaded

What did Gandalf say when he tried to shut down Auschwitz?

You shall not gas!"

What do you call a Scotsman with gas after a dodgy curry?

Bravefart

What gas is best dressed at a dinner party?

Formaldehyde

What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?

He went to the Shell station.

Which 4?

Employee: Electricity, Gas, Cable, Credit Card.

Why was the laser sad?

All his gas is Argon.

Why did the Ferguson protesters go home early last night?

The whole thing was a gas.

What are the four most common types of states of matter?

Solid, gas, liquid and Black Lives.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What does a virus call a cluster of stars and gas?

Nebola

What has ten letters and starts with gas?

flatulence"

How much does 1 drop of gas cost me?

The boy stumbles: "Well euhm ... nothing I guess." "Thanks, I'll have 2 million drops then"

What gas do snails prefer?

Shell.

How can you tell when Ron Jeremy is finished pumping gas?

He pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car!

What do cars and humans have in common?

We both burn gas.

Who's there ! Cargo ! Cargo who ?

Cargo better if you fill it with gas first !

What's the difference between a Dutch oven and a German one?

The type of gas used.

Why couldn't the Germans make a good vacuum chamber?

There was too much gas in them.

What's the difference between driving a car on an empty tank of gas and having diarrhea?

One you're running on fumes, the other you're fuming with the runs.

What gas leaves a pirate speechless?

Argon

How many states of matter are there?

5: solids, liquids, gases, plasma, and black lives

What sort of a car has your dad got?

I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas.

What country most despises cars that run on gasoline?

Mad-at-gas-cars!

What do you call the german version of Harry Potter?

Heinrich Potter, and the chamber of gas.

What do you call gas from the human body that NASA could impliment into fuel for their technology in the future?

Rocket Farts.

Where does the dentist get his gas?

At the filling station

You might also enjoy:

Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

Why is it easy to talk to people who earn little pay?

Because they make cents!

What did the penny say to the other penny?

Let's get together and make some cents.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How many IT support techs does it take to change a lightbulb?

have you tried turning the light off and back on?"

Why can't you tell a Philosophy Student a good joke?

You need to give a three hour lecture and turn in a research paper on "What is 'good' " first.

Handicap Jokes More Handicap Jokes

What do you say to a handicapped dog?

Stay"

What do women and parking spots have in common?

All the good ones are already taken, and the available ones are either pay or handicapped.

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What do you call a water on a baby deer?

fondue

What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel?

A bit of a shock really!

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What do you call an egg from outer space?

An unidentified flying omelet!

What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?

Benjamin Frankenstein

Sith Deal Jokes More Sith Deal Jokes

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the guy at the liquor store?

Only a Sith deals in Absolut.

Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

France Jokes More France Jokes

How do you know the toothbrush was made in France?

Anywhere else it would've been the "teethbrush"

What do you get when you throw a grenade into a kitchen in France?

Linoleum blown apart

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why didn't Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff?

She was wearing mittens

What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?

A wash and wear wolf