Grow Jokes

Because when they are kids their mothers always tell them: "If you grow up you have to work" *Translated from italian hope it makes as much sense as there

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Where's the best place for a horse to grow up?

In a stable environment. Sorry I'm high and it just came to me.

What did Moses say when he wanted to see through his door?

Let my peephole grow!

What is a Farmer's favorite pick-up line?

Girl. You look so good that I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!

What did the creepy scientist say to his new creepy wife?

Let's grow MOLD together!

What's the best part about marrying a farmer?

You get to grow old together.

What does ever horse and rider do at the same time?

Grow old!

What's the difference between a banana and a bann?

A bann grows on vines. I'll show myself out........

What's the difference between a yogurt and the Americans?

If you leave a yogurt for 200 years it'll grow a culture.

Why women mature faster than men?

Because men start growing breasts only after 40 years old.

Why is it called extra virgin olive oil?

Because they grow the olives inside, away from the birds and the bees.

What do you call trees that grow in Tobago?

Tobogany.

Why are hippies against capitalism?

Because money doesn't grow on trees.

How does an elephant go up a tree?

It stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow.

What if the Bible had a major typo and the Devil was really after our SOIL?

Maybe he just wants to grow some pot plants.

What's the 4th grade essay in the Detroit School District?

What I want to be *if* I grow up.

Where did the poor Italian man grow up?

The spaghetto

What does Garry Newman want to be when he grows up?

Garry Oldman.

Why did Satan keep growing his herb garden even when his oregano died each time?

Because he always had a Hell of a good thyme.

Why are dead baby jokes so funny?

They never grow old.

What is the definition of a goose ?

An animal that grows down as it grows up !

What's te definition of a bachelor pad?

A. All the house plants are dead but there's something growing in the refrigerator.

What exactly do you have to plant to grow a seedless watermelon?

Just water

What do little pigs want to be when they grow up?

Garbage collectors.

What type of trees do chickens grow on?

Poul-trees

Why do adults like Legos so much, when they grow old?

They can't lego of their childhood. Tell some more Lego puns, here!

What's another name for an parent?

Someone who's stopped growing except around the waist.

What's yellow has long ears and grows on trees?

The Easter Bunana!

What's the only thing that grows in Ferguson?

The crime rate.

How did the farmer grow his portfolio?

Cornstock

What do clouds want to be when they grow up?

Thunderstorms

Did you know crocodiles could grow up to 15 feet?

But most just have 4.

How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them!

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Knee Jokes More Knee Jokes

Whats in the middle of girl's leg ?

And the answer is, 'Knee'

How do I raise my kids?

Simple, I grab them under their arm pits, bend at the knees and stand up, how else would you do it

Plant Jokes More Plant Jokes

What happens when a plant is sad?

The other plants have to photosympathize with it

What did the overly excited gardener do when spring arrived?

He wet his plants.

Black People Jokes More Black People Jokes

Why are there no black people in clue?

Because then it wouldn't be a mystery.

Why will Church's chicken be losing money?

Because I don't see black people going to church's anytime soon

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What bring a dead duck back to life?

A dead bullfrog.

What do you tell a woman who wants a larger outlook on life?

Tell her to stand next to the kitchen window

Italian Jokes More Italian Jokes

What did the italian man with dementia have for dinner?

Forgetti Bolognese.

What happened to the pimp who ate too much Italian food?

He got Pasta-toots.

Feminist Jokes More Feminist Jokes

What's the difference between a feminist and a gun?

Some people are against shooting guns.

Whats the difference between a feminist and a bomb vest?

A bomb vest does something when triggered.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How to raise a kid?

I injected my kid with yeast and put him in the oven for 30 minutes but he didn't rise. Any suggestions

Why couldn't the kid see the pirate movie?

Because it was rated arrr!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a mercedes?

I don't have a mercedes in my garage!

What's the difference between a Canadian and an American?

Canadian knows the difference between a school and a shooting range.