Grow Jokes

Because when they are kids their mothers always tell them: "If you grow up you have to work" *Translated from italian hope it makes as much sense as there

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Where's the best place for a horse to grow up?

In a stable environment. Sorry I'm high and it just came to me.

What did Moses say when he wanted to see through his door?

Let my peephole grow!

What is a Farmer's favorite pick-up line?

Girl. You look so good that I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!

What did the creepy scientist say to his new creepy wife?

Let's grow MOLD together!

What's the best part about marrying a farmer?

You get to grow old together.

What does ever horse and rider do at the same time?

Grow old!

What's the difference between a banana and a bann?

A bann grows on vines. I'll show myself out........

What's the difference between a yogurt and the Americans?

If you leave a yogurt for 200 years it'll grow a culture.

Why women mature faster than men?

Because men start growing breasts only after 40 years old.

Why is it called extra virgin olive oil?

Because they grow the olives inside, away from the birds and the bees.

What do you call trees that grow in Tobago?

Tobogany.

Why are hippies against capitalism?

Because money doesn't grow on trees.

How does an elephant go up a tree?

It stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow.

What if the Bible had a major typo and the Devil was really after our SOIL?

Maybe he just wants to grow some pot plants.

What's the 4th grade essay in the Detroit School District?

What I want to be *if* I grow up.

Where did the poor Italian man grow up?

The spaghetto

What does Garry Newman want to be when he grows up?

Garry Oldman.

Why did Satan keep growing his herb garden even when his oregano died each time?

Because he always had a Hell of a good thyme.

Why are dead baby jokes so funny?

They never grow old.

What is the definition of a goose ?

An animal that grows down as it grows up !

What's te definition of a bachelor pad?

A. All the house plants are dead but there's something growing in the refrigerator.

What exactly do you have to plant to grow a seedless watermelon?

Just water

What do little pigs want to be when they grow up?

Garbage collectors.

What type of trees do chickens grow on?

Poul-trees

Why do adults like Legos so much, when they grow old?

They can't lego of their childhood. Tell some more Lego puns, here!

What's another name for an parent?

Someone who's stopped growing except around the waist.

What's yellow has long ears and grows on trees?

The Easter Bunana!

What's the only thing that grows in Ferguson?

The crime rate.

How did the farmer grow his portfolio?

Cornstock

What do clouds want to be when they grow up?

Thunderstorms

Did you know crocodiles could grow up to 15 feet?

But most just have 4.

How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them!

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Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?

Udder chaos!

What do cows say on Halloween?

Still moo.

Bathroom Jokes More Bathroom Jokes

What did the choir teacher say to the student who asked to use the bathroom?

Of chorus.

Why don't you want to take a Pokemon into the bathroom?

Because it might Pikachu.

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

What do you get when you put 32 Rednecks in one room?

One full set of teeth.

What's the difference between Here and There?

When you're right the whole room shouts "Here, here!" But when you're wrong one person pats you on the back and says "There, there."

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What do Trees and Dogs have in common?

Bark.

How are lawyers and apples similar?

They both look good hanging from a tree

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

How do blind people know where to find Braille signs on walls and doors?

They just have a feel for that kind of thing.

What kind of movies do pirates watch?

ARRRR Rated Movies!

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why couldn't the kid see the pirate movie?

Because it was rated arrr!

Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie?

It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does Stevie Wonder call his money?

Wonderbread. Anyone want to be my friend

What did the baby owl's parents say when he wanted to go to a party?

You're not owld enough.

Black People Jokes More Black People Jokes

Why do black people always die first in scary movies?

Because they never run from nothin but the police

Why do black people have white hands?

Because everyone has a little good in them