King Kong Jokes

Why did King Kong go to the airport?

He had a plane to catch.

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What do you call a gorilla that got shot even though it didn't want to do anything wrong?

King Kong

What month was King Kong born in?

Ape-ril

How do you catch King Kong?

Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.

Why did King Kong.... Climb the Empire State Building?

He couldn't fit in the elevator.

What did King Kong say when he saw the Statue of Liberty?

Are you my mother

Why is King Kong big and hairy?

So you can tell him apart from a gooseberry.

Why did King Kong join the army?

To learn about gorilla warfare.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a watchdog?

A terrified postman.

What should you do if you are on a picnic with King Kong?

Give him the biggest bananas.

What do you do if King Kong sits in front of you at the cinema?

Miss most of the film!

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What do you get if King Kong sits on your piano?

A flat note.

How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's twisted it?

With a monkey wrench.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a budgie?

A messy cage.

How much did King Kong get paid for his latest movie?

A gorillian dollars

What's brown and furry on the inside and clear on the outside?

King Kong in clingfilm

What do you get if King Kong sits on your best friend?

A flat mate.

Where does King Kong sleep?

Anywhere he wants to.

What is as big as King Kong but doesn't weigh anything?

King Kong's shadow.

What's the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg?

Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog?

A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue.

What do you do if you fiend King Kong in the kitchen?

Just don't monkey with him.

What business is King Kong in?

Monkey business.

What happened when King Kong swallowed Big Ben?

He found time-consuming.

What did the big ape say when he dialed incorrectly?

Oops! King Kong ring wrong."

What does King Kong and a black person have in common?

neither of them can't speak english and are unemployed.

Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong?

He didn't like Chinese food.

What do you get if King Kong falls down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a snowman?

Frostbite.

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How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's twisted it?

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With a monkey wrench.

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Eli5

What do you call a North Korean Gorilla?

King Kong Un (From my younger brother).

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Why did King Kong join the army?

To learn about gorilla warfare.

What do you call a fight between two blacks?

Gorilla Warfare.

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What goes "Tick Tock, woof woof"?

A watchdog.

What time is it when your watchdog lets a robber take the family silver?

Time to get a new watchdog.

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What did Picard say when Riker asked him what kind of Chinese food he wanted?

Make it Tso's Number One."

Why should you never drink German beer with Chinese food?

An hour later you're hungry for power.

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What did the mathematician say to the lumberjack drummer?

I really like your logger rhythm!

Why didn't Jesus like to play hockey?

He didn't like getting nailed to the boards.

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How does a Chinese man start a religious video?

Press pray.

Where do the Chinese study?

In the Pupils republic of China

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What's the difference between an elephant and a gooseberry ?

A gooseberry is green !

Why is King Kong big and hairy?

So you can tell him apart from a gooseberry.