Gorilla Jokes

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

Because they got big fingers.

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What do you call a gorilla that's a member of a terrorist organization?

Boko Harambe

Who wouldn't let the gorilla in the ballet?

Just... the person responsible for making those decisions...

What do you call a gorilla in water?

Harambait.

What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear ?

Whatever you want, he can't hear you..

What do you call the offspring of a sheep and a gorilla?

haRAMbe

What do you call a fight between a human and a gorilla?

A harumble.

What does a man call a gorilla he loves?

Haram Bae

What do you call a gorilla that got shot even though it didn't want to do anything wrong?

King Kong

What's black, grey, and red all over?

A gorilla with a child in the enclosure.

What's the difference between negligence and falling off of the empire state building?

Nothing if you're a gorilla.

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What do you call a gorilla who magically smokes weed?

Hairy Potter.

Why cant a Gorilla get a job?

BECAUSE HE'S BLACK

What do you call an Ape cooking a BBQ?

A Gorilla

What do you call three Egyptian women in a bathtub?

Gorillas in the mist

What do you call a gorilla with a harpsichord?

A silverbach.

What did the scientist see when he looked up his family tree?

A gorilla pooped on his face.

What do you get when you cross an Italian with a gorilla?

A retarded gorilla.

Why does the zoo only have dogs?

Because they shot the gorilla

Who is the Gorillas' favourite playwright?

Eugene O'Neill - who wrote 'The Hairy Ape!'

What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to Paris?

Ape Suzettes!

What's black brown and white black brown and white brown and white etc.?

A Gorilla riding down a snowbank!

What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?

Nobody is sure but if it opened its mouth to speak you'd listen!

What is the difference between a gorilla and Michael Jackson?

One of them got shot for touching a kid.

How did the obscene telephone caller get attacked by the Gorilla?

He made a mistake and dialled a preyer!

How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?

He barked g-r-r-r-illa!

What's the difference between a small child and a gorilla?

People actually care if a gorilla dies.

Why do you want to participate in this guerrilla war?

Me: picturing myself leading an army of gorillas into battle "Independence."

Which author do the Gorillas love most?

Joh Steinbeck - who wrote 'The Apes of Wrath!'

What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla ?

An animal that puts you out a night !

What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming?

Paul stop monkeying around!

Which operetta make the Gorilla crack up?

Nutty Marietta!

What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner ?

A Kong - vict !

Why do the Gorillas like Jimmy Carter?

They don't really know - but they're NUTS about him!

Which book makes prudish Gorillas blush?

The Naked Ape!

Who is the Gorillas' favourite President of recent years?

Hairy Truman!

What did George Washington have to do with Gorillas?

As little as possible dummy!

What do you call Italian women in a sauna?

A: Gorillas In The Mist!

What do you call a gorilla that's hair is two different colors?

Harambre

What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree?

A: A gorilla with a machine gun.

What color are apples?

BOBO THE GORILLA: (signing) Please free me from this prison ME: (writing) Still struggling with colors

How do you tell a rabbit from a gorilla?

A rabbit doesn't look like a gorilla.

What's the difference between Ethiopians and gorillas?

Nobody cares about Ethiopians dying. (First post on r/jokes and a bit offensive)

What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a member of the Westboro Baptist Church?

a retarded gorilla

What do you call a beach where you go to shoot gorillas and break Islamic law?

Haram Bay

What did the Gorilla call his first wife?

His prime-mate!

What political party entices most Gorillas?

The Treepublican Party!

What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey?

A cross.

Why are gorillas so noisy?

A: They were raised in a zoo!

Why do waiters like Gorillas better than flies?

Did you ever hear a customer complain 'Waiter there's a Gorilla in my soup!'

When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land?

Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!

What do you call it when a gorilla takes martial arts lessons?

Kong-fu

Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?

The bear hug!

When did the Gorillas start to picket the cookie factory?

The day they started to manufacture animal crackers!

What do you get when you cross an (italian) with a gorilla?

A retarded gorilla. (Can be modified to offend any nationality or group)

Which wrestler do the Gorillas admire most?

Gorilla Monsoon - he knows the ropes!

What does a Gorilla learn first in school?

The Apey-cees!

What's the difference between an Armenian and a Gorilla?

Just one hair.

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet?

Just the people who were in charge of that decision.

What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?

He brought it to school and said 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'

Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree ?

A: Because it was dead.

What did the Gorilla do when he saw the sign 'Clean Washroom'?

He cleaned it!

Why are Gorillas underpaid?

They're willing to work peanuts!

Why are beekeepers opposed to keeping gorillas in captivity?

They're ape purists

What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?

You-Rang-a-Tang

Which drink makes a Gorilla feel tipsy?

An ape-ricot sour!

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What runs forever and never dies?

An argument with a woman! And I'm in one right now.

What do you get when a clown dies in a desert?

Dry Humour.

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What do members of secret societies use when they get a head cold?

An Illumi-neti pot

What's the difference between an flautist and a Porsche?

Most members of the band haven't been in a Porsche.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the gold fish cross the road?

To go to /r/antijokes

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, insomniac and a dyslexic?

Someone who lies awake at night if there really is a dog.

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How do you make a Gorilla float?

Two scoops of ice cream some club soda and a very tasty Gorilla!

How do you make a dog float?

Take two scoops of ice cream a couple of squirts of soda and a small dog.

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What did the salesman at footlocker say to the customer?

Shoes wisely

Why did the customer choose T-Mobile?

Because he wanted the worst cellphone service in the world.

Nationality Jokes More Nationality Jokes

What are their nationalities?

Russian and Finnish!

What's his nationality?

He's a Babylonian.

Offend Jokes More Offend Jokes

What is an Iraqi children on a playground doing?

He's distracting the sniper. Didn't want to offend.

How do you offend a vegan?

Cover your ears with your hands

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why did the black man wear a tuxedo to his Vasectomy?

If he was going to be impotent he wanted to look impotent.

How do you know If your girlfriend is Canadian?

Look at her beaver.