Kind Jokes

What kind of health insurance does a llama need?

Ollamacare

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What kind of trainer are you?

T: I'm a Megan Trainor.

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

What kind of trucks do pigs drive?

A pig up truck

What kind of bait do you need to catch a master fish?

Super Bait

What kind of dog can you best see in the dark?

A glowberman pinscher!

What kind of house does a stoned loaf of bread live in?

A high rise

What kind of music does a printer make?

A paper jam.

What kind of sound does a horny toad make?

Rubbit, rubbit.

This joke may have profanity.

What kinds of stories do dolphins tell around the campfire?

They're just ghost stories for all in tents and porpoises.

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?

Cauliflowers!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What kind of buildings do terrorists have on their farms?

Allahu akbarns (I'm going to hell)

What kind of tea does an anarchist drink?

Cheap generic iced tea. Because proper tea is theft.

What kind of railway is an Italian engineer's favourite?

Funicula

What's the difference between America and a tub of yogurt?

After 200 years the yogurt would have developed some kind of culture.

What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?

Eski-moos!

What kind of tableware do gym trainers use?

Pilates

When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up?

This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.

What kind of engine did you put in it?

cut to me filling my car with tomato soup* Me: Um... A fast one.

What kind of pants do the Super Mario Bros. wear?

Denim denim denim..... I'll see myself out.

What kind of money do fishermen make ?

Net profits !

What kind of dog can tell time?

A clockshund!

What's a politicians favorite kind of dance move?

Poll dancing!

What kind of pictures does a mermaid take on her phone?

Shelfies.

What did the Japanese buck say to the doe he was courting?

OC I don't know how to put this but...I'm kind of a big deer.

What kind of shoes does a thief wear?

Sneakers

What kind of award did the dentist receive?

A little plaque.

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?

A stega-snore-us.

What kind of dog lives in a particle accelerator?

A Fermilabrador Retriever.

What kind of magic do cows believe in?

MOODOO.

What kind of music do planets listen to?

Nep-tunes.

What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo jeans.

What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree!

What kind of music do welders like?

Heavy metal.

You might also enjoy:

Waiter Jokes More Waiter Jokes

What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant?

Donkey!" (Danke) You gotta say it with the shrek accent to work.

Whats the best thing on the menu?

Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*

Mouse Jokes More Mouse Jokes

What do you say to a guy who is covered in rodents?

Mice outfit!

How many mice does it takes to screw, in a lightbulb?

Two, as always.

Vitamin Jokes More Vitamin Jokes

What is the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?

You can't here a vitamin.

Which vitamin best helps a pokemon breed?

PP Up.

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

Where does monty python buy his water?

From the knights Da-sa(y)-NI! This joke is best delivered verbally.

Why wouldn't the pimp water his lawn?

He couldn't trust his hose.

Bagel Jokes More Bagel Jokes

Why do seagulls fly by the sea?

Because if they flew by the bay they'd be bagels.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea, not the bay?

If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels :D

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

What happened when the bankrupt eastern european jumped off a building?

The Czech bounced.

How do you stop a black guy from jumping on a bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

Cruise Jokes More Cruise Jokes

What airline allows you to pee in cruise?

Wizz Air

What do you call a line dancer on a cruise?

A. An Ocean "Liner"

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What do you call an asian who flies planes?

A pilot.

What do we want? Low flying plane noises! when do we want em?

Nnneeeeeeeeyyyyyoooooowwwww