Kind Jokes

What kind of girl does a hamburger like?

Any girl named Patty!

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What kind of tea do the crime investigation team drink?

A "casual tea"

What kind of scary bees can produce milk?

boo bees

What kinds of clothes do protons wear?

Plus sizes!

What kind of a pitch did Sandy Koufax of the old Burger-lyn Dodgers have?

A fastball - a sizzler.

What kind of bears don't have teeth?

Gummi bears. )

What kind of marijuana do cows smoke?

moo-dicinal

What kind of bell doesn't ring?

A dumbbell.

What kind of bee can never make up its mind?

A maybe

What kind of phone does a burglar use?

A no-key-a

What kind of fish would be good to tune a piano?

Oh, you guessed it right ... the tuna fish!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Which Kind Of Girls Wear Transparent Clothes?

Answer : "Those Girls Who Don't Trust The Imagination Power Of A Boy"

What kind of cancer was Jar Jar diagnosed with?

Meesathelioma.

What kind of cereal do you find in a haunted house?

Cinnamon Ghost Crunch

What kind of cancer does an amnesiac oncologist diagnose?

Adenocarcinoma

What kind of bees hum and drop things ?

A fumble bee !

What kind of music does your mailman like?

Postrock/Postpunk

What kind of joke do you tell to a vegetarian?

One they've never herbivore.

What kind of company is a 24 hours hamburger joint?

Fry-by-night!

What kind of type face does a pachyderm use?

ele-font

What kind of suit does a bee wear to work?

A: A buzzness suit!

What kind of jeans do ghosts wear?

Boo Jeans

What are the three kinds of women's cancer?

1. Breast Cancer 2. Ovarian Cancer 3. Feminism

What kind of bread do pig ladles make in the Yukon?

Sow-r dough bread.

What kind of fence goes on strike?

A picket fence.

What kind of Pop do you cook with?

Baking Soda

What is bruce banners favourite kind of potato?

HULK'S MASH! no idea where she picked it up from, but it made me chuckle

What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?

A boo-tie.

What kind of gun does a firefighter have?

A water gun.

What kind of church does a triangle attend?

Anglican.

What kind of exercise does Ned Flanders like to do?

Diddily-squats.

What kind of music do chiropractors listen to?

Hip-pop.

What kind of teeth can you buy with a dollar?

Buck teeth!

What kind of dance do buns do?

Abundance.

What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?

A. Honda...because the apostles were all in one Accord.

What kind of soap do you use to clean a dirty joke?

Bawdy wash.

What kind of bee can keep an aeroplane dry ?

An aero-drone !

What kind of computers do chihuahuas like best?

Lap-top!

What kind of movie do mathematicians most often watch?

rated movies

What kind of music does a mummy like?

W)rap music!

What kind of bees make the best milk?

Boo Bees!

What kind of bath can you take without water?

A sun bath.

What kind of beer does a cow brew?

Heifer-weizen.

What kind of jokestuff do farmers like?

Corny jokes.

What kind of Mechanics fix and break your car at the same time?

Quantum Mechanics.

What kind of punch hurts children the most?

A sandy hook.

What kind of spy hangs out in department stores?

A: A counter spy.

What kind of fish has two knees?

A tunee fish.

What kind of root is only easy to find on paper?

A square one.*

What kind of khakis do birds wear?

Khakaws!

What kind of money do monsters use?

Weirdo (weird dough).

What kind of elephants live in Antartica ?

Cold ones !

What kind of gum do astronauts chew?

Hubble Bubble

What kind of cat should you take into the desert ?

A first aid kitty !

What kind of ships can't go in salt water?

Snail-boats

What kind of dog is a person's best friend?

A palmatian!

What kind of dreams do dustmites have?

Mitemares

What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?

Reality

What kind of disease did the guy get when he skipped the condom and plowed a girl with down's syndrome?

Slow clap

What kind of music do cows listen to?

dadjoke) MOOOOOsic.

What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers ?

A bud hound !

What kind of apple isn't an apple?

A pineapple.

What kind of eggs do Canadians prefer?

Grade eh

What kind of jokes do farmers tell?

CORNY JOKES!!!

What kind of people should you stay away from?

Trees. They're quite shady.

What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties?

A: Women!

What kind of chemical bond is Hispanic?

An Ester Bond

What's in your mom's tummy?

5-year-old: A baby. Woman: What kind of baby 5-year-old: A human one. Nailed it.

What kind of cats lay around the house?

A: Car-pets!

What kind of mouse walks on two legs?

A: Mickey Mouse Q: What kind of duck walks on two legs A: They all do!

What kind of tree barks?

A dogwood!!

What kind of doctor does a duck visit?

A Ducktor.

What kind of umbrella does the Queen of England carry on a rainy day?

A wet one.

What kind of fish loves to fix instruments?

A tuna.

What kind of car does a viking drive?

A fjord

What kind of amphibian is hired to take your car away?

Toad. Thanks, HammerElectionBeans for the edit.

What kind of bee will not take credit for his contributions?

A Humblebee.

What kind of snake is good at building things?

A boa constructor.

How do you catch a one-of-a-kind rabbit?

Unique up on it. How do you catch a very calm rabbit The tame way.

What kind of wine do bears drink?

Maulbec

What kind of wig can hear ?

An earwig !

What kind of watch does Germs Bond wear?

An Amoeba.

What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?

A wash and wear wolf

What kind of cards do donkeys send out near Christmas?

A: Mule-tide greetings.

What kind of birds do girls like?

My-cawk!

What kind of name is Joaquin?

It's not Russian

What kind of pictures do turtles take?

Shellfies!

What kind of bird lays electric eggs ?

A battery hen !

What kind of music can't Ed Sheeran play?

Soul

What kind of lizard goes into salad?

A Salad-Mander! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHILARIOUS

What kind of pants does agent Mulder wear?

Just a pair 'a normal pants.

What kind of ants are very learned ?

Pedants !

What kind of people have the most beautiful eyes?

Beekeepers. Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder.

What kind of car did J.J. Abrams send to pick up Harrison Ford for the new Star Wars premiere?

A Hyundai.

What kind of bird is that?

Just look at that bird!

What kind of dinosaur writes poetry?

A Bronte-saurus.

What kind of tea does water make?

Humiditea.

What kind of fish is made of just two atoms?

2 Na

What kind of olives do I like?

Olive them

What kind of whale flies?

Pilot whales!

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in your swimming pool?

Bob

What happened to the american man who broke his leg?

He went... broke.

Plain Bagel Jokes More Plain Bagel Jokes

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why the hell did you buy a buffalo?

Me: I'd rather have a buffalo and not need it than need a buffalo and not have it.

How many guns do the US need to combat an enemy?

Two: one to shoot and one to sell him to shoot back.

Different Kind Jokes More Different Kind Jokes

How many different kinds of crabs can you get in Baltimore?

Two, and often from the same person.

Why does Germany have so many different kinds of bread?

Well, we had to do something with the ovens.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why does Axl Rose have trouble getting his car fixed?

Because no one wants to feel his serpentine.

Why don't auto repair shops fix golf carts?

Because they work with parts for cars, not carts for pars.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why do pirates love football so much?

Cus they love to count YAAAARds.

Why did the fish sink?

This joke composed by my seriously autistic friend Neil, who LOVES jokes) Because it was a brick.

Baltimore Jokes More Baltimore Jokes

What's the number for Baltimore chiropractic services?

9-1-2001

Where do the happy people of Baltimore live?

In a merry land.

Building Jokes More Building Jokes

Where do muslim terrorists go when they die?

INTO BUILDINGS

What kind of dog can jump higher than a building?

Any kind, buildings can't jump.