Submarine Jokes

What is hard, long, and full of seamen?

A submarine

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What do fish call a submarine?

Unidentified Floating Object

What do Windows and a submarine have in common?

If you open the windows in a submarine, your problems will begin.

What do you call a dog in a submarine?

A subwoofer

What goes over the water, and under the water, but stays dry?

Jesus in a submarine.

What's long, hard, and full of seamen?

A submarine.

What's the similarity between Madeline Mccann and a submarine?

They are both at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen.

What's long and hard and full of "SEE-MEN"?

A submarine, obviously.

What do you call an underwater masochist?

A submarine!

What do you call a marine who can't swim?

A submarine.

How long is a submarine?

No, How Long is a Chinaman.

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What did the calculus teacher tell the crew of his submarine while they were diving?

Derive, derive, derive!

What can walk over the water, but can travel under the water without getting wet?

Jesus in a submarine.

Where does the Navy rank amongst the armed forces?

Submarines.

What do you call a dog riding in a submarine?

A subwoofer.

What did the sardine call the submarine ?

A can of people !

What's the difference between a baby and a submarine?

I've never been in a submarine.

How do you drown a submarine full of blondes?

Knock on the door

What is everyone writing songs about?

John: revolution Paul: forgiveness George: true love Ringo: hmm, a submarine or maybe an octopus

How can you tell a Belgian in a submarine?

He's the one with a parachute on his back.

How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?

Knock on the door.

Why did the Naval Inspector fail the submarine?

Because he found it to be SUB-standard.

How to sink a submarine with 10 blondes in it?

You knock on the door.

How can north korea tell if it made a ship or a submarine?

By how fast it sinks.

What buzzes is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea ?

A bee in a submarine !

How do you drown a blonde in a submarine?

A: Knock on the door.

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The Marine shrugged and replied, "Recoil."

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They're both Marine layers

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Why the F1 driver doesn't get along with his crew?

He has thrust issues.

What did the tired pilot say to his crew?

I think I'm gonna crash

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What did the ocean ask the scooba diver?

Water you doing here

Why are airplane crashes in the ocean so visible?

They're plane to sea

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What do Windows and a submarine have in common?

If you open the windows in a submarine, your problems will begin.

Why did Microsoft skip Windows 9 and go straight to 10?

Because seven "ate" nine.

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What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?

I don't know, she hasn't opened it

Why did the man open a rooftop bar?

He wanted to have drinks on the house.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What did one ghost say to another ghost?

Do you believe in people "

How many people does it take to start a riot?

3/5

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What was Jesus's favorite band?

Nine Inch Nails.

What do you call a statue of Jesus made out of cigarettes?

Holy smokes.

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What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it?

A coconut.

What do you call a slow-learner born the beginning of August?

A leotard