Knead Jokes

Why did the baker have brown hands?

He was kneading a poo.

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Why was Doughman the only hero to rise up and help?

because he was kneaded.

Why was the Baker a part-time drug dealer?

Because he really kneaded the dough. (please forgive me for that awful pun)

Why are pizza makers always poor?

Because they knead dough to make a living.

Why/How do bakers work?

They knead the dough.

What did the hands say to the flour?

I knead you!"

Why were the baker's hands smelly?

He kneaded a poo

Why did the baker rob the deer park?

He kneaded the doe. (Doesn't work too well in text)

Why did the Baker rob the Banker?

Cause he knead that dough. ........ Sorry I'm drunk

Why do bakers start working so early in the morning?

Because they knead dough.

Why did the baker only date large breasted women?

Because he kneaded them.

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Why can't random men check random women's breasts for cancel?

Because that sort of information is on a knead to know basis.

Why did the man quit his job at the bakery?

He didn't knead any more dough.

Why did the baker's hands smell?

Because he kneaded a poo.

Why did the baker have smelly fingers?

Because he kneaded a poo.

Why did the baker have so many customers?

He desperately kneaded the dough!

What did the dough say to the baker?

You, knead me.

Why does the baker bake?

Because he kneads the dough.

Why did the baker go to work?

He kneaded the dough!

How do most bakers get their start in the industry?

They knead dough

Why do bakers work so hard?

Because they knead the dough.

Why do bakers go into business?

Because they knead the dough

What did the unused dough say to the baker?

Why don't you knead me

Why is money called dough?

Because we all knead it.

What did the baker say to the dough before he put it in the oven?

You are no longer kneaded."

Why did the baker bake more bread?

A: He kneaded the dough.

What did the hopeless romantic baker say to the dough?

You're my life's devotion. I knead you!

What did the retires baker say to the Dough on the table?

I don't knead you anymore.

Why did the Baker keep going to the ATM?

He kneaded the dough

What did the baker say to the baby lamb who stole his dough?

Oh baby ewe...you got what I knead!"

When is a bread not kneaded?

When it's unnecessary

What did the baker say after he found the dough he had lost?

That's just what I kneaded!

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Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What's it like to work in customer service/retail?

Imagine there's a race of people called customers. Now imagine you're a huge racist.

What did the server say when the customer requested something they didn't have?

404

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

Why are birds always sad in the morning?

Their bills are over dew

What did the lonely ghost do at 2 in the morning?

He made a booo-ty call

Bake Jokes More Bake Jokes

Why are goldfish crackers always smiling?

Because they're baked..

Why did the cookie smoke weed?

Because he wanted to get baked.

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

What do you like about me?

Me: Your crippling self esteem issues have caused you to lower your standards. Her: What Me: Your eyes

Why was the computer stressed out when it got home from work?

Cause it had a hard drive.

Poo Jokes More Poo Jokes

Why did the baker get smelly fingers?

Because he needed a poo.

Why were the bakers hands brown?

Because he kneeded a poo

Doe Jokes More Doe Jokes

What do you call a doe that swerves all over the road?

A rackless driver...

Why did the poor man sell yeast?

He wanted to make some doe!

Rob Jokes More Rob Jokes

How do you know a North Korean robbed your house?

All your printer paper is gone and when you look at the printer history it's all Kim Jong-un.

What did the body-builder say after his house got robbed?

No whey...

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

When a guy texts "your beautiful," reply with "my beautiful what?

then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again.

When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

for 2 weeks.