Laugh Jokes

Why is it that in girls tampons commercials they're always laughing and dancing?

Shouldn't they be revving chainsaws and burning stuff down

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What to do when the black guy in front of you gets shot?

Stop laughing and reload.

What do you get if you boil funnybones?

A laughing stock.

What did the alcoholic Dad, away on business, say to the bartender at the hotel bar?

I'm ready to partiem with my perdiem *sorry, not a dad, and the bar tender didn't laugh either

Why do mountains make people laugh?

Because they're hill-areas!

Why do burgers laugh when you surround them with pickles?

Who knows - maybe they're picklish!

What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)

How do rainbows laugh?

Hue hue hue

How hard do you think Joe Biden laughs when a senate's bill gets 69 votes?

I bet he has to leave the room.

Why are homeless people always laughing?

Because they crack themselves up!

When do accountants laugh out loud?

When somebody asks for a raise

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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How many times does a woman laugh after you tell her a joke?

Three. When you tell it to her, then when you explain it to her, and then when she gets it.

What goes HO HO HO thud?

Santa laughing his head off. What goes HO HO HO A Pimp taking inventory.

How many tickles... How many tickles before a squid starts to laugh?

Ten tickles

Why couldn't the octopus stop laughing?

Because it had ten tickles

What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a hyena ?

I don't know but I'll join in if it laughs !

How many tickles does it take to make laugh an octopus ?

Ten tickles

When a guy texts "your beautiful," reply with "my beautiful what?

then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again.

What Do You Call A Line Of Men Waiting For A Haircut?

A Barbecue. Christmas crackers are just full of laughs.

What's the difference between Jimmy Fallon and myself?

I can get through a Jimmy Fallon joke without laughing.

What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?

DAM! (airplane stewardess told me and had me on ground laughing)

What happens when an egg laughs?

He cracks up

Why did the boy laugh when he was molested by a test?

Because the testicles

Why aren't orphans laughing?

Because jokes aren't apparent.

What do you call cows that have a sense of humor?

Laughing stock.

Why was the egg laughing when it fell off the table?

Because it cracked itself up.

What's the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon?

I can get through one of his skits without laughing

Who was that, your girlfriend?

Everyone laughs* NERD: "Nope. It was yours." *Dead silence*

What type of memory card is always laughing?

The XD card.

What's the difference between me and Jimmy Kimmel?

I can make it to the end of a Jimmy Kimmel joke without laughing.

What do lightning bolts do when they laugh?

They crack up

What do colors say when they laugh?

Huehuehuehuehuehuehuehue

Why can't Californians stop at stop signs?

I don't know and this is not a laughing matter.

How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh ?

ten-tickcles.

What did some kids call him?

A "Chigga" (i'm not a racist, but this made me laugh for long enough to post it here. Please don't get triggered)

What do you call an outdated joke that, while sharp, has little potential for laughs?

I used to know, but then I took an arrow to the knee

Why was the man intently watching the bowl of snickers?

He wanted to see who would have the last laugh. back to work...

What does someone have if they laugh at other people's eyes?

Aqueous humour.

Why shouldn't Canadian adults laugh at children who believe in the Easter Bunny?

Because most of them still believe in Justin Trudeau

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

What do you do when you see a black man lying on the floor?

You stop laughing and shoot him again.

What's the best way?

I said "A big knife" She laughed and said "You're funny" I said "wise choice"

What do you do when you see a half dead native man crawling across your lawn?

Stop laughing and reload

Why did the cookie not laugh at your joke?

Because it was crumby.

How do cheese strings work?

I started to laugh, but then I stopped. How do cheese strings work

Why are you not laughing?

Cos I'm quitting today."

Whos the funniest disney princess?

raPUNzel *sits there laughing to self* ...so lonely..

What is a clowns fart made of?

Laughing gas.

Why didn't the blind person laugh at my joke?

Because he didn't see the funny side to it.

What do you call chocolate eggnog?

Nignog. Eh I laughed.

What do you call a laughing motorcycle?

A Yamahahahaha.

If you boil a clown...

Do you get a laughing stock?

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Polish Girl Jokes More Polish Girl Jokes

What's big and long that a Polish girl gets on her wedding night?

A new last name

What's a funny non-racist joke a Polish person would laugh at?

Just trying to make a Polish girl I like laugh

Lmao Zedong Jokes More Lmao Zedong Jokes

How do chinese people laugh over the internet?

Lmao Zedong

Who was the dankest dictator of all time?

LMao Zedong

People Jokes More People Jokes

How do you stop an Ethiopian tank with a gun?

Shoot the people pushing it.

How do you say goodbye to two people in Spanish?

Adidos!

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What do you do if the lights in a Chinese food restaurant are too bright?

Dim Sum.

Why did the Chinese almost lose in Mulan?

They had way to many chinks in their armor.

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

How do you get a Samsung owner to throw their phone out the window?

End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

Reddit Jokes More Reddit Jokes

Where does Ben Carson spend most of his time on Reddit?

r/explainlikeimfive

What is the best way to receive downvotes on reddit?

Wohahaha! That was funny! XD

Beautiful Jokes More Beautiful Jokes

When a guy texts "your beautiful," reply with "my beautiful what?

then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again.

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What's the difference between a drunk driver, and a stoned driver?

The drunk driver will drive right through a stop sign. The stoned driver will stop and wait for it to turn green.

What type of car would Jesus drive?

A Chrysler