Bean Jokes

How do you get 100 Ethiopians in a phone box?

Throw a tin of beans in there ..... How do you get them back out of it? Run past with the tin opener .....

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why was Jack scared?

Because Jack was bean stalked

What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?

I've never paid a garbanzo to bean on my face.

How does William Shakespeare make chili?

With beans? Or not with beans? That is the question.

How many beans are in Irish Chili?

239, because if there was 1 more it would be "Too Farty".

Why are there only 239 beans in a bag of beans?

If there were one more it would be two-farty!

What happens when Jack is angry with his beans?

Jack and the beans talk

What did the bean say to the other bean?

How have you been?

Why did the Green Giant get a new lid?

Because he always spills the beans.

What did one bean say to the other?

How you bean doing.

How many beans are in Irish bean soup?

Two-thirty-nine. One more and it'd be too farty.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why does the hipster make crappy coffee?

The beans are always under-ground.

Why don't Mexicans have BBQs?

Because the beans keep falling through the grill.

Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk?

Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.

What is a goal keepers favourite snack ?

Beans on post !

Who's there ! Cork ! Cork who ?

Cork and beans !

Why did ancient Egyptians love beans?

They made Tootin' Common.

Why don't mexicans have barbeques?

the beans keep slipping through the grill.

What's the difference between garbanzo beans an chickpeas?

I don't have to play $50 for a garbanzo bean in my face.

Why does d' perfect Irish stew require exactly two hundred n' terty nine beans?

Because if you added one more it'd be two farty.

Why didn't the Irishman add another bean?

He stopped at 239 because if he added another one it would be 'too farty'. It would've been funnier if I could do an Irish accent.

Why don't Mexicans have BBQ s?

Because beans always fall through the grill.

What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?

Teargas

What do u call a mexican in the back of a cop car?

Pork and beans

Why can you never trust a clumsy barista?

Because she's always spilling the beans!

What do you get when you mix beans and onions?

A: Tear gas.

Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup?

Because one more bean would be too farty.

How many beans do you put in Irish chili?

Two hundred and thirty-nine. Why Because one more would be two-farty.

Why Mr.BEAN Bought A Brown Cow?

2 Get Chocolate Milk!!

Why did Jack cross the road?

Because he was bean stalked.....

Why did the man with an electric car think he had a dual exhaust?

He drank a lot of beer. He ate a lot of beans. *You love it.*

Who's there ! Bean ! Bean who ?

Bean working very hard today !

Why can you trust a coffee roaster?

Because he never spills the beans :-)

What did Johnny Cash say to the waitress after he got sick at a Mexican restaurant?

I've bean everywhere, ma'am!

What is the politically correct term for Mexicans?

Human Beans.

What did the cannibal have for lunch?

Baked beings (beans).

What do you call a bean that's good at silent acting?

A pintomime.

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Bake Jokes More Bake Jokes

How many Blondes does it take to bake chocolate chip cookies?

10....one to bake the cookies, and 9 to peel the M&Ms

What kind of Pop do you cook with?

Baking Soda

239 Bean Jokes More 239 Bean Jokes

Why do baked bean cans contain only 239 beans?

Because if they had one more, they would be 240.

Why do irish fried beans only have 239 beans?

Because the extra bean would be too farty.

100 Jokes More 100 Jokes

How do you get 100 babies into a phone booth?

with a blender. how do you get them out? with a straw.

How can you tell, with 100% certainty, that no intelligent alien life exists that we know of?

Because if it did, we'd have sent foreign aid by now.

Jack Jokes More Jack Jokes

What do you call a rabbit who lifts weights?

A jacked rabbit.

Why does ACDC prefer Android to Apple?

She's Got The Jack

Kidney Bean Jokes More Kidney Bean Jokes

What's the difference between a kidney bean and a chickpea?

I wouldn't pay $100 to have a kidney bean on my face.

What's the difference a kidney bean and a chickpea?

I've never paid $200 to have a kidney bean in my mouth.

Question Jokes More Question Jokes

What happened to German Orphans after WW2?

Did they ever get back on the Reich track (I saw the post in /r/history earlier and was disappointed to find it was a serious question. I fixed it.)

Why did the gynecologist get taken in for questioning?

He smelled a little fishy. Edit: a word.

Diffrence Jokes More Diffrence Jokes

What's the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four.

What's the diffrence between a girl in a church and a girl in a bath?

The girl in a church has a soul full of hope and the girl in a bath has, well... EDIT: better structure.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a black person and a monkey?

Nothing

What's the difference between E.T. and a Mexican?

E.T. learned English and went home.