Bean Jokes

How do you get 100 Ethiopians in a phone box?

Throw a tin of beans in there ..... How do you get them back out of it? Run past with the tin opener .....

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why was Jack scared?

Because Jack was bean stalked

What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?

I've never paid a garbanzo to bean on my face.

How does William Shakespeare make chili?

With beans? Or not with beans? That is the question.

How many beans are in Irish Chili?

239, because if there was 1 more it would be "Too Farty".

Why are there only 239 beans in a bag of beans?

If there were one more it would be two-farty!

What happens when Jack is angry with his beans?

Jack and the beans talk

What did the bean say to the other bean?

How have you been?

Why did the Green Giant get a new lid?

Because he always spills the beans.

What did one bean say to the other?

How you bean doing.

How many beans are in Irish bean soup?

Two-thirty-nine. One more and it'd be too farty.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why does the hipster make crappy coffee?

The beans are always under-ground.

Why don't Mexicans have BBQs?

Because the beans keep falling through the grill.

Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk?

Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.

What is a goal keepers favourite snack ?

Beans on post !

Who's there ! Cork ! Cork who ?

Cork and beans !

Why did ancient Egyptians love beans?

They made Tootin' Common.

Why don't mexicans have barbeques?

the beans keep slipping through the grill.

What's the difference between garbanzo beans an chickpeas?

I don't have to play $50 for a garbanzo bean in my face.

Why does d' perfect Irish stew require exactly two hundred n' terty nine beans?

Because if you added one more it'd be two farty.

Why didn't the Irishman add another bean?

He stopped at 239 because if he added another one it would be 'too farty'. It would've been funnier if I could do an Irish accent.

Why don't Mexicans have BBQ s?

Because beans always fall through the grill.

What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?

Teargas

What do u call a mexican in the back of a cop car?

Pork and beans

Why can you never trust a clumsy barista?

Because she's always spilling the beans!

What do you get when you mix beans and onions?

A: Tear gas.

Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup?

Because one more bean would be too farty.

How many beans do you put in Irish chili?

Two hundred and thirty-nine. Why Because one more would be two-farty.

Why Mr.BEAN Bought A Brown Cow?

2 Get Chocolate Milk!!

Why did Jack cross the road?

Because he was bean stalked.....

Why did the man with an electric car think he had a dual exhaust?

He drank a lot of beer. He ate a lot of beans. *You love it.*

Who's there ! Bean ! Bean who ?

Bean working very hard today !

Why can you trust a coffee roaster?

Because he never spills the beans :-)

What did Johnny Cash say to the waitress after he got sick at a Mexican restaurant?

I've bean everywhere, ma'am!

What is the politically correct term for Mexicans?

Human Beans.

What did the cannibal have for lunch?

Baked beings (beans).

What do you call a bean that's good at silent acting?

A pintomime.

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239 Bean Jokes More 239 Bean Jokes

Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in the pot?

Because one more would be "two-fahrty"

Why did the Irishman only put 239 beans in his bean soup?

Because one more would be too farty

Chili Jokes More Chili Jokes

What kind of chili do they serve at the cannibal prison??

Chili CON Carne!

Why do the Irish serve up their chili with 139 beans?

Because one more would be one-farty bowl of chili!

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

What's the craic?

2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really I thought you were only 15 2: I am! 1: So what was it Guiness 2: No, it was water.

How long is a 0 or 1?

Just a little bit.

Pronounce Jokes More Pronounce Jokes

What do you call cantaloupe flavored gum?

A: A Ty-lemma (pronounced like dilemma)

What are Mario's overalls made of?

denim denim denim (pronounced with the Mario underground theme)

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

What's Irish and stays on your back porch all year?

Patty O'Furniture

Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup?

Because one more bean would be too farty.

Contain Jokes More Contain Jokes

Why aren't kids under the age of 18 allowed to watch videos about duck calls without the consent of a parent?

Because they contain a lot of fowl language.

How did the set react when it heard about the Russell Paradox?

It couldn't contain itself.

Fry Jokes More Fry Jokes

What is the most unexpected part of a fast food meal?

The element of some fries.

What happened when the husband tried to deep fry his wife?

She went to the battered women's shelter

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How do you get a drummer off your doorstep?

You pay for the pizza.

How much do pirates pay for piercings?

A buccaneer!