Crush Jokes

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What is it called when your crush has a crush on you too?

Imagination.

What does a 16 year old girl say in West Virginia?

Get off me daddy, you're crushing my smokes

What is that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Imagination.

What does a girl from Arkansas say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me paw, you're crushing my smokes."

What do you call a phallic music scale, crushed under a piano?

D-flat

What do a Chinese tourist who got run over by a bus and a lobster have in common?

They're both crushed-asians

What does a 12 year old redneck girl say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me dad, you're crushing my smokes!

What did the farmer's daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad you're crushing my smokes! Or "That'll do pig, that'll do." I have heard it both ways.

Why did Dr.Pepper blush?

He received a Sunkist from his Crush

What did the farmers daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad your crushing my smokes!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Coffee Mug

What's that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Oh yeah. Imagination.

What did the redneck say when she lost her virginity?

GET OFF ME DAD, you're crushing my cigarettes!

What did the Alabama woman say when she lost her virginity?

Dad you're crushing my cigarettes.

What do u say?

SON: I WILL CRUSH MY ENEMIES ME: *nervous laughter* No, the other thing SON: Oh. Thank you

Why are you crying?

me: You just crushed all the Oreo's in my fanny pack

What's the first thing a hillbilly says after losing her virginity?

Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes.

Why did the two boa constrictors get married ?

Because they had a crush on each other !sna

How do you get over a crush you've had since high school?

Leave the dungeon door unlocked.

What do you call a soda in love?

A Crush

What does a girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity?

Careful, dad, or you'll crush my smokes."

How is everything?

ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning W: I meant your meal M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt

What does a 14 year-old Native American girl say when she loses her virginity?

Stop Dad, you're crushing me smokes!

What do you call an angry white elephant that likes crushing donkeys and darker elephants?

Donald Trunk.

What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?

One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!

Why is a lobster similar to a Asian under a steamroller?

They are both crushed-asians

Why did the girl walk past her crush twice?

He didn't believe in love at first sight.

What's a racist photographer's favorite hobby?

Crushing the blacks.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did Adam do when he wanted some sugar?

He raised Cain.

Why did the groom ask his bride to wear white?

Because he wanted his dishwasher to match the fridge and stove

Crush Asian Jokes More Crush Asian Jokes

What's a let down Chinese lobster called?

A crushed asian

Why is a lobster similar to a Asian under a steamroller?

They are both crushed-asians

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why did the lion lose at poker?

He was playing with a cheetah.

How many lost cats walk by the telephone pole with their missing flier on it?

Just another reason to teach your cat to read.

Step Jokes More Step Jokes

What's a cardiologist's favourite kind of music?

The step.

How much have you had to drink?

Me: Like six carrot juices Cop: Please step out of the hamster wheel

Daddy Jokes More Daddy Jokes

Why did the Egyptian kid in therapy?

Because he thought his daddy was his mummy.

What did the Mississippi girl say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes.

Chinese Tourist Jokes More Chinese Tourist Jokes

What do a Chinese tourist who got run over by a bus and a lobster have in common?

They're both crushed-asians

Why do Chinese tourists get disappointed when they visit America?

Because when they buy souvenirs they find out they were made in China.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What do you call it when three french cats get into a boat only meant for two?

Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq!

Who sang the song "my own worst enemy"?

Them: I think it's Lit Me: I mean I like the song but I wouldn't call it lit...

Bus Jokes More Bus Jokes

What do you call a secret agent running for the bus?

A Russian spy.

Why did the boy drop his Ice Cream?

A: He was hit by a bus