Crush Jokes

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What is it called when your crush has a crush on you too?

Imagination.

What does a 16 year old girl say in West Virginia?

Get off me daddy, you're crushing my smokes

What is that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Imagination.

What does a girl from Arkansas say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me paw, you're crushing my smokes."

What do you call a phallic music scale, crushed under a piano?

D-flat

What do a Chinese tourist who got run over by a bus and a lobster have in common?

They're both crushed-asians

What does a 12 year old redneck girl say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me dad, you're crushing my smokes!

What did the farmer's daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad you're crushing my smokes! Or "That'll do pig, that'll do." I have heard it both ways.

Why did Dr.Pepper blush?

He received a Sunkist from his Crush

What did the farmers daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad your crushing my smokes!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Coffee Mug

What's that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Oh yeah. Imagination.

What did the redneck say when she lost her virginity?

GET OFF ME DAD, you're crushing my cigarettes!

What did the Alabama woman say when she lost her virginity?

Dad you're crushing my cigarettes.

What do u say?

SON: I WILL CRUSH MY ENEMIES ME: *nervous laughter* No, the other thing SON: Oh. Thank you

Why are you crying?

me: You just crushed all the Oreo's in my fanny pack

What's the first thing a hillbilly says after losing her virginity?

Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes.

Why did the two boa constrictors get married ?

Because they had a crush on each other !sna

How do you get over a crush you've had since high school?

Leave the dungeon door unlocked.

What do you call a soda in love?

A Crush

What does a girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity?

Careful, dad, or you'll crush my smokes."

How is everything?

ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning W: I meant your meal M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt

What does a 14 year-old Native American girl say when she loses her virginity?

Stop Dad, you're crushing me smokes!

What do you call an angry white elephant that likes crushing donkeys and darker elephants?

Donald Trunk.

What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?

One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!

Why is a lobster similar to a Asian under a steamroller?

They are both crushed-asians

Why did the girl walk past her crush twice?

He didn't believe in love at first sight.

What's a racist photographer's favorite hobby?

Crushing the blacks.

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Meal Jokes More Meal Jokes

What is white and interferes with the meal?

An avalanche.

What did the redditor do at the restaurant when he was done with his meal?

Tips waitress*

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What do you call a second hand gold necklace?

Recyc-bling (I'm pretty sure I thought of this myself but I used to smoke the Mary Jane a lot so......)

What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

Press Jokes More Press Jokes

Why'd the factory worker hate their job?

Because it was soda pressing.

What happened to when the coke bottle was ran over by the steam roller?

He was soda pressed.

Daddy Jokes More Daddy Jokes

How do you know ancient Egyptians were black?

Because they never dig up daddies.

Which tax haven is a daddy?

The Cayman Islands

Salt Jokes More Salt Jokes

When is a product with 70% less salt a bad thing?

When you're buying salt.

Why do some people like to date pessimists?

All that salt must make them thirsty.

Arkansa Jokes More Arkansa Jokes

Why can't you find pirates in Kansas?

They all live in Arkansas

Why are people from Arkansas so good at Science?

Because they use the Theory of Relativity to find a partner.

Steamroller Jokes More Steamroller Jokes

Why did the farmer run through his fields with a steamroller?

Because he wanted mashed potatoes!!!!

What's the difference between a lobster and a Japanese woman run over by a steamroller?

One's a crustacean and the other is a crushed Asian.

Crush Asian Jokes More Crush Asian Jokes

What's the difference between a lobster and a Japanese woman run over by a steamroller?

One's a crustacean and the other is a crushed Asian.

What's the difference between a lobster and an oriental woman run over by a steamroller?

One's a crustacean and the other a crushed Asian.