Sock Jokes

How do you know when a hippy chick is on the rag?

She's only wearing one sock.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between the Earth and my sock?

The Earth's crust is on the outside.

Why don't bears wear socks?

They have bear feet

Why did the Golfer feel aladeen about his socks ?

He had a hole in one.

Why do all the best golfers keeping buying socks?

They get a hole in one!

Why did the elephant take off his socks at the golf course?

He got a hole in one.

What is the difference between a sock and a camera?

A sock takes five toes and a camera takes photos.

What's white and washes your socks?

Your wife.

What's long and hard?

The sock under my bed.

Why do you think people hate us so much?

Idk. I blame the idiots who wear us with socks."

How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating?

If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

Why did the ghoul knit herself three socks?

A: Because she grew another foot.

What kind of socks do you find in your backyard?

Garden hose.

What is 7'' long, rock hard, and makes girls scream at it's sight?

The sock under my bed.

This joke may have profanity.

What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

Why did the golfer need to buy a new pair of socks?

Because he got a hole in one!

Why did Tiger Woods bring three socks instead of two?

In case he got a hole in one.

What is the difference between a camera and a sock?

One holds photos The other holds five

Why does Tiger Woods bring an extra pair of socks while golfing?

In case he gets a hole in one.

How's the baby?

Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..

Why did the seamen cross the road?

Because I wore the wrong pair of socks this morning.

What sock do you put on last?

The one that's left.

Who the hell does that in a sock?

squishes out of the room*

What is long, hard and full of sperm ?

The sock under my bed.

What did 50 Cent say to his grandmother when she made him a pair of socks?

Gee, you knit

What does it mean if you find a horse shoe?

Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.

What do you tell a girl who won't stop asking for a tampon?

Put a sock in it.

How do you spell socks in Spanish?

Eso si que es.

Who won the Battle of the Bulge?

The guy with the bulge in his sock ...

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

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What did the doctor say to the injured gingerbread man?

Why don't you try icing it

How to you tell the difference between an elephant and a mouse ?

Try picking them up !

Outside Jokes More Outside Jokes

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Hummer?

The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What's white on the outside, black on the inside and soon to be orange all over?

1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter?

God: Uh huge grin cos I'm banging his wife raises hand up top

What do you get when you play a country song backwards?

Your wife back, your dog back, your house back...

Golf Course Jokes More Golf Course Jokes

What do you call a Russian on a golf course?

Vladimir Puttin'

Why did Tiger Woods stop designing golf courses?

He couldn't keep it down to 18 holes.

Red Sox Jokes More Red Sox Jokes

How do you get a New Yorker upset about ISIS terror attacks?

Tell them ISIS are Red Sox fans.

What's the difference between white socks and red socks?

Students will most likely answer the color) Then you say, "yes, that's one difference but there's another: The White Sox play in Chicago and the Red Sox play in Boston!

Clark Jokes More Clark Jokes

What did Lewis and Clark only have one sack of on their expedition?

Jawea

What was Superman's first job?

A Clark.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How did the sperm cross the road?

I put the wrong socks on today.

Whats the complement to a 40 degree angle?

My you're looking "acute" today.

Hard Time Jokes More Hard Time Jokes

What did the Machop say to the guy who was giving him a hard time?

You're really bustin' Machops!

Why does Kylo Ren have a hard time making friends?

Because for most of his life, he's Ben Solo.