Un Jokes

Where does Napoleon live/Ou Napolon habite-t-il?

Dans un bon-apartement.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How do you know that you're a peaceful country?

When you realize that you can't spell country without UN.

What's the difference between a virgin and a lightbulb?

You can un-screw a lightbulb.

Who won?

One two three' cat, because 'Un deux trois' cat sank.

What do you call it when three french cats get into a boat only meant for two?

Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq!

What's the difference between Gene Simmons and Richard Simmons?

One porks women the other un-porks them.

Why did the French Hen give up her job?

One day she'd just had un uf.

Why do the French make omelettes with only one egg?

Because in France one egg is un oeuf.

Why did the Frenchman not want two eggs?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

What do you call a vegetable that always stays outside?

An un-in.

How does a orphan change a light bulb?

They grab the stack of un-signed adoption papers, stand on top of them, then proceed to change the light bulb.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Which cat made it across?

The second cat because un deux trois cat sank.

Why was the frog down in the mouth ?

He was un hoppy !

How many eggs do the French use in their omelettes?

Just one, because in France one egg is un oeuf.

How many French eggs do you need?

One egg is un oeuf.

Why do you only need one egg in France?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

Which fairy tale character would be most likely to be shot by the police?

An un-armed gingerbread man

Why did the Frenchman not want two eggs for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

Why do French people only have one egg at breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

What's the difference between the UN and ISIS?

The pension package.

Which cat won the race?

A: The English cat. Un deux trois cat sank.

What did Jesus say when they un-nailed his hands from the cross?

THE FEET, THE FEET, THE FEET!!!

Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between yogurt and the US?

Yogurt's got a culture. (no offence)

What's the difference between an Isis camp and an orphanage?

I don't know, I just fly the drone

Country Jokes More Country Jokes

What country most despises cars that run on gasoline?

Mad-at-gas-cars!

Why are we seeing the creepy clowns all over the country?

Being in many states and seen on all types of media is how they run for president.

Pun Jokes More Pun Jokes

What do you call a pun in a marathon?

A running joke

Why are steak puns so rare?

Because they are never well done.

North Korea Jokes More North Korea Jokes

Why is North Korea so evil?

Because it's got no Seoul!

What did they start calling Kim Jong Un after he shed 60 kgs in weight?

Kim Jong Un what you thought it was Slim Jong Un? Sorry but you are not allowed to make puns on your supreme leader's name in North Korea

North Korean Jokes More North Korean Jokes

Why does the North Korean military always lose their battles?

xpost /r/meanjokes Every single shot at them is at a chink in their armor.

What's a North Korean farmer's favorite time of year?

Breakfast.

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

What did Ghost A say to Ghost B?

Nothing because ghosts don't exist. Edit:Holy crap I just realized I didn't post this on /r/antijokes.

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

Sink Jokes More Sink Jokes

Who won?

One two three' cat, because 'Un deux trois' cat sank.

What do you call a group of rappers in a washing up bowl?

In Sink!

Dan Jokes More Dan Jokes

Where does Napoleon live/Ou Napolon habite-t-il?

Dans un bon-apartement.

Why did little Dan dropped his ice cream?

He was hit by a buss