Hide Jokes

What's your favorite game if you wear a turban?

Hide-and-Sikh

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why can't you play hide and go seek with a Pokemon?

Because he'll peek-at-chu!

How do you protect a valuable instrument?

A: Hide it in an accordion case.

Why do you hide behind a mask?

Kylo Ren: *takes off his mask to reveal his real face* Rey: Wow. Put the mask back on.

How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?

Hide the ball it drives them nuts!

What do Anne Frank and Bin Laden have in common?

They're both hide and seek champions!

Why did the hotel manager refuse to rent his rooms out to people?

He needed places to hide the bodies.

What do turtles do for fun?

Play hide and shell.

Why did the elephant paint his toenails red ?

So he could hide in the cherry tree !

Why couldn't the leopard play Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

A: Because he was always spotted.

Where is the worst place to play hide and seek in a hospital?

In the I.C.U.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

How do you starve a Socialist?

You hide their food stamps under their work boots. Edit Thank you /u/DoctorBrohoof for my first gold!

Where is the worst place to hide in a hospital?

In the ICU.

Why do you carry a knife?

Me: A sword is harder to hide.

Why aren't the Eagles worried about big cats sneaking up on them?

They know there ain't no way to hide those lion eyes.

How are we out already?

ME: *hiding dog that I wrapped up like a mummy* it's a mystery I guess

Why are there so many piggy banks?

Pigs don't like to hide their money in the mattress.

Where do you hide a hippie's weed?

Under the soap.

When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land?

Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!

How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out?

Hide their trainers.

Why do women aged 40+ not play hide and seek?

cause nobody would be looking for them.

Why don't more dinosaurs join the police force?

They can't hide behind billboards.

Why do women over 40 don't play hide and seek?

Because nobody is looking for them.

What was in those drums of chemicals Captain Malcolm Reynolds hid behind in Firefly?

For-Mal-To-Hide.

What do 1% of racist people do?

They are making clubs like the KKK The other 99% are hidden here making bad jokes

Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours?

Because he wanted to hide in the colouring box !

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

So they can hide in strawberry patches.

What do you call a blond skeleton in the closet?

The winner of hide and seek.

What will I have at the end of the day?

Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide.

Why don't you find hippopotamuses hiding in trees?

They're really good at it.

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Dead Body Jokes More Dead Body Jokes

How do you find a dead body?

Download Pokemon GO.

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

Body Jokes More Body Jokes

What do Ted Bundy and the Space Shuttle Colombia have in common?

They both left bodies in four states.

What kind of body do you want to have?

ME: *leans in close* I'd prefer human

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why was the computer stressed out when it got home from work?

Cause it had a hard drive.

Why are south italian men so small?

Because when they are kids their mothers always tell them: "If you grow up you have to work" *Translated from italian hope it makes as much sense as there

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

Why did the internit paint his computer screen in little black and white squares?

He wanted to check his e-mail.

Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

Republican Jokes More Republican Jokes

How do you save a Republican from drowning?

Take your foot off of their head.

Why do Republicans hate lotion?

Because the directions say to apply it liberally.

Egg Jokes More Egg Jokes

Why don't you put eggs in a microwave?

Because they eggsplode. :D

How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?

Unfertillized

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

Why did Clemson choose orange as its team color?

So they could play football on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up garbage the rest of the week.

What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?

A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why was Jesus such a bad carpenter?

He couldn't remove three nails to save his life

What's the difference between Superman and Super Delegate?

The first one saves people from criminals, while the latter saves criminals from the people.