Pool Jokes

Vegetable soup. I apologise to those offended by my terrible joke. Have another Whats the hardest part of cooking a vegetable? Getting the wheelchair into the oven

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call five Mexicans on the bottom of a pool?

Sinko :D

How do you get 50 Canadians out of the swimming pool?

Say, " Everyone out of the pool please."

What's Irish and sits by the pool?

Paddy O'Furniture

How did the hipster break his neck?

He jump off the diving board before it was pool.

What do you call five blondes in a pool?

Air bubbles.

What's blue and yellow and sits at the bottom of the pool?

A baby with slashed floaties. What's red and yellow and floats on top of the pool? Floaties with a slashed baby.

How do you get a bunch of Canadians out of a swimming pool?

Say "Get out of the pool."

What do you call a horny guy in a pool?

Driftwood

This joke may have profanity.

How do you know when it's okay to swim in a pool of milk?

When it's past your eyes.

How do remove a bunch of drunk Canadians from the pool?

You ask them to leave.

Why are cops so bad at pool?

Because they can't resist hitting the black ball.

What did Jeffery Dahmer yell when he jumped in the pool?

CANNIBAL!!!

What do you call five Mexicans drowning at the bottom of their pool?

Cinco.

What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson?

He stank to the bottom of the pool!

What's the difference between a paddling pool and a toddler?

The pool doesn't scream when you go in dry.

What's the longest game in the world?

Two women playing pool.

What happens if the baby pees?

Pregnant wife: She won't. She waits till she's born 5: Right. Just like no one pees in the pool

What do you call a man with no arms or legs... ... sitting at your door?

Matt. ...floating in your pool Bob. ...hanging on your wall Art. ... water skiing Skipper.

What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

How do you get three drunk, rowdy Canadians out of a pool?

Ask them to get out of the pool.

What do you call a pool full of details?

The specific ocean.

Why can't DJs play pool?

A: They always scratch.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, who hangs out in your pool?

Bob

Why are dolphins cleverer than humans ?

Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish !

Why were the elephants kicked out of the pool?

Because they kept dropping their trunks....

What game do Anti-Vaxxer's kids play in the pool?

Marco Polio

What did Saddam Hussein say every time he played pool?

I rack.

Howdo you drown a blonde?

Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool

What do you call a woman on a cruise ship in Mexico using the diving board at the pool?

A broad abroad on a board aboard.

How do you get 20 Canadians out of a pool?

Okay folks, time to get out of the pool!"

What do you call a child with no arms and no legs swimming in a pool?

Bob.

Why can't a policeman win a game of pool?

Because he always shoots the black one first.

Is the pool safe for diving?

It deep ends.

You might also enjoy:

100 Jokes More 100 Jokes

What's a a magician's favorite kind of coffee?

100% abracadabra

How do you get 100 babies into a bowl?

A blender. How do you get them out Tortilla chips

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What has four wheels and can't support a family?

A liberal arts major. I lied about the wheels.

How do black people get tans at the beach?

They lay down on their backs and put their legs and arms toward the sky.

Paddle Pool Jokes More Paddle Pool Jokes

What's the difference between a paddling pool and a toddler?

The pool doesn't scream when you go in dry.

What's the difference between a paddling pool and a swimming pool?

Deep ends really.

Float Jokes More Float Jokes

What should you do if you see your TV floating?

Turn on the lights and shoot the black guy.

What do you call the runs in space?

The floats

50 Canadians Jokes More 50 Canadians Jokes

How do you get 50 Canadians out of the swimming pool?

Say, " Everyone out of the pool please."

How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool?

Please get out of the swimming pool"

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between regular AIDS and north korean AIDS?

Regular AIDS is incurable. North Korean AIDS is invincible!

What's the difference between a chainsaw and an accordion?

A: A chainsaw can be tuned.

Penny Jokes More Penny Jokes

Why do gas prices end with 9/10 of a penny?

It just makes cents.

What is a million years like to you?

God: Like one second. Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you God: Like one penny. Mortal: Can I have a penny God: Just a second.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Virgos don't have time to change their own lightbulbs. They're too busy changing them for everyone else.

What do you call two Egyptians who've farted at the same time?

Tutankhamun.