Snail Jokes

What do you call a snail on a sail boat?

A snailor

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What did the snail say while riding on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeee!

What do you call a shipping crate full of snails?

Escargot.

Why did God give women legs?

Because he saw the mess that snails left behind!

What did the snail say when he jumped on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

What do you call a Muslim slug?

A snail...

What did the snail on the turtles back say?

WEEEEEEEEEE!

Why arent there any French Restaurants in Davy Jones Locker?

Dead men sell no snails!

What did one snail say to the other snail?

It...all...happened...soooooooo...fast

What did the snail say when he was riding on the back of the turtle?

Weeeeeeeeee

What did the snail say as he rode on the back of a turtle?

A: Wheeee!

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What happens when two snails fight?

A: They slug it out.

Why did the snail cross the road ?

It is not clear yet , let it cross the road first. Update : It has been confirmed that it was to meet the Chicken who crossed the road earlier.

What did the snail say while riding on the back of the tortoise?

Wheeeee!!!! --hey, at least it's a fun joke for kids!

What did the slug say to the snail?

Would you like a copy of the big issue

What is stronger an elephant or a snail ?

A snail because it carries it's house an elephant just carries its trunk !

What did one snail say to the other?

Nothing. They were both decoys.

What are snails trying to do?

Their best

What did the snail say when put on top of a turtle?

Weeeeeeeeeeee

What did the snail say when he rode a turtle?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! I'll see myself out.

How does a snail win a race?

It runs against Hillary.

What do you do when two snails have a fight?

Leave them to slug it out.

What gas do snails prefer?

Shell.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with a snail?

The world's slowest vampire.

What did the snail say when his friend lost his car?

Where did Es-car-go.

Why did the snail draw an "S" on the side of his car?

So that when he drove by people could say, "Look at that escargot!"

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?

I don't know but it would slow him down.

What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?

A. Wheeeee!!!!!

How do snails get their shells all shiny?

They use snail polish.

Why doesnt McDonalds serve snail?

Because of sanitation reasons.

You might also enjoy:

Slug Jokes More Slug Jokes

Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers?

She heard he was a cowpuncher!

What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?

How slime flies!

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do you call a white guy with 2 black guys in the back of the car?

The police. What do you call a black guy with 2 white guys in the back of the car Uber!

Why do black people get hit by cars more during winter time?

Because they're easier to spot

Ship Jokes More Ship Jokes

What is it called when a ship attacks their own navy?

Edit: Whoops wrong sub.

Why are marines who can't swim better?

They defend the ship with way more enthusiasm.

Mess Jokes More Mess Jokes

What happens when you throw a hand grenade into a kitchen?

Well, the mess is the same but the annoying jabbering stops.

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What do you call a bunch of stereotypical Americans running?

Nothing, it never happens.

What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had ?

The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had !

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

Why is it that sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So they don't get mistaken for feminists.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs driving a car?

Rex (made this one up myself!)

God Jokes More God Jokes

What do you call an awkward questioner?

I don't KNOW, that's why I **asked** you. God.

How do we know God likes condoms?

Because Adam was ribbed for Eve's pleasure

Muslim Jokes More Muslim Jokes

What do you call a Muslim cowboy?

Dirty hairy.

Why are muslim people so kind-hearted?

Because they don't live long, especially when they're a bomb