Snail Jokes

What do you call a snail on a sail boat?

A snailor

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What did the snail say while riding on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeee!

What do you call a shipping crate full of snails?

Escargot.

Why did God give women legs?

Because he saw the mess that snails left behind!

What did the snail say when he jumped on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

What do you call a Muslim slug?

A snail...

What did the snail on the turtles back say?

WEEEEEEEEEE!

Why arent there any French Restaurants in Davy Jones Locker?

Dead men sell no snails!

What did one snail say to the other snail?

It...all...happened...soooooooo...fast

What did the snail say when he was riding on the back of the turtle?

Weeeeeeeeee

What did the snail say as he rode on the back of a turtle?

A: Wheeee!

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What happens when two snails fight?

A: They slug it out.

Why did the snail cross the road ?

It is not clear yet , let it cross the road first. Update : It has been confirmed that it was to meet the Chicken who crossed the road earlier.

What did the snail say while riding on the back of the tortoise?

Wheeeee!!!! --hey, at least it's a fun joke for kids!

What did the slug say to the snail?

Would you like a copy of the big issue

What is stronger an elephant or a snail ?

A snail because it carries it's house an elephant just carries its trunk !

What did one snail say to the other?

Nothing. They were both decoys.

What are snails trying to do?

Their best

What did the snail say when put on top of a turtle?

Weeeeeeeeeeee

What did the snail say when he rode a turtle?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! I'll see myself out.

How does a snail win a race?

It runs against Hillary.

What do you do when two snails have a fight?

Leave them to slug it out.

What gas do snails prefer?

Shell.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with a snail?

The world's slowest vampire.

What did the snail say when his friend lost his car?

Where did Es-car-go.

Why did the snail draw an "S" on the side of his car?

So that when he drove by people could say, "Look at that escargot!"

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?

I don't know but it would slow him down.

What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?

A. Wheeeee!!!!!

How do snails get their shells all shiny?

They use snail polish.

Why doesnt McDonalds serve snail?

Because of sanitation reasons.

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God Jokes More God Jokes

Why did God invent economists?

So accountants could have someone to laugh at.

What's the difference between a doctor and God?

God doesn't walk around thinking he's a doctor.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What do you call a horse that has been kicked out of his house?

Unstable

Why didn't the Smurfs fit in the house?

There wasn't mushroom.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What do you call a robber who looks like David Beckham?

Bandit like Beckham

Who does the butcher look forward to seeing after a tough day at work?

His loving knife.

Weeeeeeeeee Jokes More Weeeeeeeeee Jokes

What did the snail say when he was riding on the back of the turtle?

Weeeeeeeeee

What did the snail on the turtles back say?

WEEEEEEEEEE!

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Why should you always carry toilet paper to the twilight zone?

Doodoo doodoo

Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How does a woman go about inventing a lightbulb?

She gives birth to a son.

Why in the World would a Woman ever take her picture in the bathroom mirror?

It defies logic

Slug Jokes More Slug Jokes

What happens when two snails fight?

A: They slug it out.

What did the cowboy maggot say when he went into the saloon bar?

Gimme a slug of whiskey.

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

How is marijuana stock sold on the stock market?

Buy high sell higher.

What's the best selling soft drink in Italy?

Dr. Pepe