Ride Jokes

What do little sisters ride?

A Nii-san

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What type of board will you be riding?

Jesus: looks at feet They're using boards

What do methheads and Mormons have in common?

They both ride bikes and go on missions.

Where in the hell are Dora the Explorer's parents?

Do they know she's riding a damn crocodile into a volcano

What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse?

The ground!

What's the difference between a wealthy man wearing a tux and riding a bike and a hobo in torn jeans and shirt riding a unicycle?

Attire.

What's the difference between my bike and your mom?

Your dad doesn't watch when I ride my bike.

Why did the chicken cross the rode?

To get to the other side.

What do ghosts like about riding horses?

Ghoulloping.

What do you call a man who rides his camel backwards?

Lawrence of Dublin.

What did the boots say to the cowboy?

You ride -- I'll go on foot.

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What type of train can a ginger not ride?

A soul train

What do you call a parsnip riding a dragon?

A parsnip.

What does a tweaker and a Jehovah's Witness have in common?

Both ride bicycles and are on a mission.

Why couldn't Tommy ride a bicycle?

A: Because he was a gold fish.

Why do ghosts like to ride elevators?

It lifts their spirits.

Why did the cowboy ride his horse?

Because the horse was too heavy to carry.

Who Conquers All obviously, this is read in the man's grizzled voice What's the difference between your mother and a motorcycle?

When I ride a motorcycle... I wear protection.

What's the best part of dating a quadriplegic?

Spinning her like a top when she rides you cowboy style.

How many people with ADD does it take to change a light bulb?

Lets go ride a bike!

What couple rode a horse up a hill to fetch a pail of water?

Jockey and Jill!

What do toilets yell when they ride roller coasters?

Weeeeeeeee!!!

What do Terrorist Witches ride?

Boomsticks

What does a Japanese girl ride?

Niisan.

Why did the car thief drill holes in the air conditioning units of the cars he stole?

Because he my take your ride but he will never take your freon.

What happened to the man who owned a riding academy?

Business kept falling off!

What elephant and a canary and in common?

They both can't ride bicycles.

What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?

Bronchitis (bronc-itis).

What is a Siths favorite thing to ride in?

An elevader.

What do you say to someone riding a stoned horse?

Get off your high horse.

Where do weirdos ride their bicycles?

Psycho-paths. (as told by one of my coworkers)

What do stoners ride to school?

The cannibus

What's the difference between a man in plain clothes riding a unicycle and a man in a tuxedo riding a bike?

Attire

What is the definition of "derange"?

De place where de cowboys ride!

What do you call a supernatural goose riding a bike seeking vengeance?

Goose Rider

What does a snail riding on a turtles back say?

WWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

A: Bach in the saddle again.

Why is the ocean always wet?

Because wherever she is, she's always getting rode.

What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?

A. Wheeeee!!!!!

Why don't you hit a Mexican kid who's riding a bike?

Because it's probably your bike

What's the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath?

You can't ride your bike on a sociopath

What's the difference between my erection and my motorcycle?

My wife actually looks forward to riding the motorcycle.

How many ADHD children does it take to change a lightbulb?

Lets go ride our bikes

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Hobo Jokes More Hobo Jokes

Why does the hobo only drink coffee?

Because he has no proper tea! Hehehhehahahahhhehveahhs

What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a hobo on a bicycle?

Attire.

Solo Jokes More Solo Jokes

What does Metallica's St. Anger and Star Wars VIII have in common?

No solo.

What happened to Han when Chewie wouldn't do the marathon?

He Ran Solo...

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a cello and a violin?

A: A cello burns longer.

What's the difference between a 4WD and a rental car?

A rental car can drive anywhere.

Shirt Jokes More Shirt Jokes

How does Snoop Dogg keep his shirts so white?

BLE-YATCH!

What happens when Fonzie doesn't fold his clothes after doing laundry?

His shirts get all winkly.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do priests wear underwear in the shower?

They don't like to look down on the unemployed

Which is the only insect that needs to wear shoes?

Mosqui-toes.

Tend Jokes More Tend Jokes

What's the worst thing about ancient history class?

The teachers tend to Babylon.

What does a pimp do when his garden needs tending?

He grabs a hoe.

Mexican Man Jokes More Mexican Man Jokes

Why cant a Mexican man sleep with three women at once?

Fear of over dos

Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?

tequila

Attire Jokes More Attire Jokes

What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?