Spit Jokes

How do you know when you have a good redneck girlfriend?

If she can give you oral with a dip in and know which to swallow and which to spit.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

One says, "Spit out your gum!" The other goes, "Choo Choo Choo"

What do you call a spitting alarm?

An Allarma

How is Drake similar to someone with dysuria?

They both spit fire

What do you call a large group of people who spit on others?

The Salivation Army.

What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?

Spit, swallow, gargle.

What do your mom and a camel have in common?

They both spit.

Why does a girl who uses chewing tobacco give the best head?

Because she's knows what to spit and what to swallow.

What's the difference between "like", "love" and "showing off"?

Spit, Swallow and Gargle.

What is the difference between like, love, hate, and showing off?

Spit, swallow, bite, and gargle.

When is it okay to spit an arab woman in the face?

When her moustache is on fire!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why did the Egyptian spit out his water?

Because it came from the Suez.

What is the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"

What's the difference between lust, love, and just plain showing off?

Spitting, Swallowing, and gargling.

What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?

Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

What's the difference between your mom and an alpaca?

One's a hairy beast that spits and the other's native to South America.

Whats the difference between love, ture love, and showing off?

spit, sallow, and gargle.

What's the difference between an alpaca and your Mom?

One is a hairy beast that spits, the other is native to South America.

What's the difference between a school teacher and a train?

A school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, a train says choo choo.

What's the difference between a tease, a love, and a lust?

Spit, swallow, gargle.

What's black, white, black, white, black, brown, black brown, black, black, black, black, black?

A nun on a spit

Why is it better to be ashy?

cause it just means you spit more fire

What is purple, blue, and white and spits out dad jokes?

What's the last thing you hear before a pubic hair falls to the ground?

spits*

When is the only appropriate time to spit in an Italian woman's face?

When her mustache is on fire!

Whats the definition of love true love and showing off?

Spitting swallowing and gargling.

What's a difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher tells you to spit you gum out. The train says, "Chew, chew, chew!"

Why did the lion spit out the clown?

Because he tasted funny.

Why do so many guys spit in urinals?

Just seems weird that there are that many dudes who salivate at the sight of a wiener.

What do you call thrusting a hairy rod in and out of your mouth really fast then afterwards spitting out a white liquid?

Brushing your teeth

What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits?

A cud thud!

What do you call it when a feminist yells so much she spits on your face?

A femijizm

Why did the trekkie spit out her latte at the Star Trek Convention?

Cause William Shatner Coffee. hahahha

Why did the shark spit out the clown?

Because he tasted funny!

What do you call it when you thrust a hairy pole in and out of your mouth, and at the end you spit out a white liquid?

Brushing your teeth!

What did Dr. Frankenstein say when his monster spit?

It's saliva! IT'S SALIIIVA!!!"

What's the difference between a schoolteacher and a train driver?

A schoolteacher says "Spit out that toffee" and a train says "Choo choo."

Why do people say clean as a whistle?

Whistles aren't clean, they're full of spit

Why did the aligator spit out his lunch?

Because it was two years old

What's the difference between spit and swallow?

A firm grip on the back of her head.

What if I color on you?

What if I run a truck along your back Steal your toy Throw a ball Spit food at you - My toddler, wooing the dog

What has been confirmed when Ariana Grande spat on the donuts?

She's a spitter, not a swallower.

You might also enjoy:

Dip Jokes More Dip Jokes

What's the difference between a vampire and a cookie?

You can't dip a vampire in your tea.

What's the difference between a soldier and a sailor?

Ever tried dipping a sailor in a boiled egg?

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call it when a German hits you with a loaf of bread?

Gluten Tag And when a hippie hits you with a loaf of bread Flour power And when a lot of people do it at the same time a rye-ot

Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans?

So people can read her lips.

Door Jokes More Door Jokes

What do you call a thirsty cow?

A watermeloin.. Don't worry, I remember where the door is.

Who's there ! Annabel ! Annabel who ?

Annabel would be useful on this door !

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What do you love most in the world?

Me: You & your brother 4yo: Oh Me: What about you 4yo: The fire tree in Plants vs. Zombies Me: Oh

Why are your eyes dilated?

Me: "Your eyes dilate up to 45% when you look at something you love" Mom: "What were you looking at " Me: "Memes"

Tobacco Jokes More Tobacco Jokes

Why does a girl who uses chewing tobacco give the best head?

Because she's knows what to spit and what to swallow.

Why do cowboys have foreskin?

So they have a place to put there chewing tobacco when brushing their teeth

Gargle Jokes More Gargle Jokes

What's the difference between a tease, a love, and a lust?

Spit, swallow, gargle.

Whats the definition of love true love and showing off?

Spitting swallowing and gargling.

Egyptian Jokes More Egyptian Jokes

Why did the Egyptian spit out his water?

Because it came from the Suez.

What did the ancient Egyptian cheerleader chant?

THERE IS ONE GOD, HE IS THE SUN GOD! RA! RA! RA!"

Swallow Jokes More Swallow Jokes

What brings no babies?

The Swallow.

What's got six legs and can fly long distances ?

Three swallows !