How-Ling (my dad wanted me to post this)
Couple's Daily Question Mug
Coffee Mug
Johnny", responds his dad, " I neither know nor care." Edit: granma grammar.
Dad: We used to keep useless information to ourselves.
Scratching at the inside of her coffin. Courtesy of my dad.
It's your dad.
Bear: "Gin............ and tonic." Bartender: "Why the big pause " Bear: "I dont know my dad had them too."
Son:We'll see Son:how does the turkey smell Dad : I guess through its Beak
No, no. Dad wouldn't allow that."
dads in unison DON'T TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT
Me: A bad word moms and dads only say when they're mad.3:Me:3: Is my middle name a swear word
Stop Dad, you're crushing me smokes!
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
The swine flu (joke my dad made up a couple years back during all this)
Me: The kids gave me this *holds up Dad Is #1 mug* W: That's sweet H: Sweet They think I'm pee!
say "No. That's my dad." Then storm off.
A transparent ( )
Waba Fett
Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.
Dad: Just chilling homie, what's up with you!
Only my dad gets it.
What son *Dad cries with joy
Kid: My dad He's an actor Me: Why Couldn't you get a real dad
I have no-eye-deer! (Unless you're a dad, you may need to sound it out)
Hamster.
I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas.
His mom is Thai and his dad is.......
A good start! **an old joke that my dad used to tell at every party. You could replace "liberals" with pretty much anything.
Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I told them nothing!!!"
Me : Oh, that was Denise. Dad: Oh, da' niece I thought it was da' nephew. Buh dum tsssssssss
And the dad says: 'Wealth is caviar, champagne and women. Poverty is hot pocket, beer and your mother!'
For the pun of it.
The W. Yeah my dad just busted this joke on me.
Yep, people are just dying to get in there
I don't think they'll fit me.
A Popsicle.
10yo: Buy legos & a bigger house for u. 11yo: I'd buy a monkey. Going to be extra nice to my 10yo.
A: Any way you want, concrete floors tend to be very hard to crack.
This is the end of me !
Because they can't remember long stories !
Because he didn't want to go clubbing.
Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? A: Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing the chickens.
Cuz it was yellow and appealing! Sorry if this is bad. Seen too many of the same jokes here and I wanted to add an original joke.
When you sniff paint, you get high
Toby
Pit-bull in kids sandpit
Why did the number 6 cry? Because 7 8 9. (7 ate 9)
He drank a lot of beer. He ate a lot of beans. *You love it.*
He wasn't hot enough.
Because he always came in a lil behind.
They wanted to see it crack up!
Bill and Sue
