P Jokes

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? "FIRETRUCK"!!! What were you thinking? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"? ..."POPCORN"!! What were you thinking?!?!?!

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What begins with P and ends with orn?

Popcorn, of course!

Why did no one believe the Psychologist ever went to the bathroom?

Because the 'P' is silent

Why can't you tell when a Pteradactyl goes to the toilet?

Because the P is silent.

Why did the Soviet union fail?

Too much Stalin'. Yeah it's bad but it made me giggle when I thought of it... :P

Why did the pig walk into the kitchen?

Because he felt like bacon. :P

What's a pirate's favourite letter?

A P. Because it's like an ARR, but it's missing a leg.

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car?

get in the car :P

How do you foil a plan?

p + l)(a + n)=pa+pn+la+ln

What does it sound like when a Pterodactyl urinates?

There is no sound... The P is silent.

Why did the guy kick the broom out of his house?

It swept with his girlfriend :P

How do you get Lady Gaga attention?

P-p-p-poke her face.

Why isn't energy made of atoms?

It doesn't matter (go ahead and down vote :P)

What did the abortionist have for breakfast?

Scrambled eggs =p

What spends a good 3 hours a day in my hand?

hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D ... wait what were YOU THINKING ! ! !

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

Why do pterodactyls use the bathroom so quietly?

Because their p is quiet.

What starts with "p," ends with "s," and is really long?

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

Why did the printer have wet ink?

Because it couldn't control P

How can we keep our school Clean?

Student : By Staying at home. :p

Why couldn't R get to P?

He had to wait in a Q!

Who is a golfers favorite singer?

birdy :P

What can I get you Mr. President?

Why was the physicist being so careful not to insult his colleague's choice of generalized coordinates and momentum?

He was just minding his Ps and Qs.

How'd you know?

P: *sees knife in my back* I'm good

What did the dog say after a hard day at work ?

Today sure was ruff" Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit , thought i'd share it :P

Why was the 'P' irate?

Because his peg leg made him go 'R'

What's the difference between O and Q?

One had to P.

Why is it so quiet when pterodactyls use the restroom?

Their P is silent.

What starts with P and ends with orn?

Popcorn.

How do u make a Pirate angry?

Take the P out of him.

What's the difference between LSD and LDS (Latter Day Saints)?

one you take with a sugar cube, the other with a grain of salt :P

What do you give an alligator who is having trouble hearing?

A gator-aid. Bet you did see that one coming:P

Why did the sweet scented man called Paul change his name to Saul?

He liked the P, but preferred the essence the change.

Why can't Charlie Sheen finish the alphabet?

Because when he gets to 'P' it burns.

What has 6 letters, starts with 'P', and ends a sentence?

Parole.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

The p is silent.

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