Arm Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who's trying to get home?

A taxi

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why do all the ladies love Jesus?

spreads out arms to fullest length) Because he was hung like this.

What kind of tea do you pay an arm and a leg for?

Amputee

How much does a red lightsaber cost?

An arm and a leg edit: slightly improved punchline

What did the mother of the guy who broke his arms say at the beginning of every 'session'?

ssh bby is ok

How do you know the Statue of Liberty isn't French?

It doesn't have both arms raised. And yes I know the French manufactured the Statue of Liberty and gave it to the United States

What did the child with no arms get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet.

Why did Lucy fall off the monkey bars?

A: She's got no arms Me: Knock Knock Them: Whose there Me: Not Lucy.

What does a Soldier and a Shoulder have in common?

They have access to arms.

What does an octopus wear on a cold day?

A coat of arms!

When I see a "How am I driving?

sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call a man with no arms or legs who likes to go swimming?

Bob.

Why did Timmy fall off the swing?

Me: why Him: Timmy has no arms. Knock knock. Me: Who's there Him: Not Timmy.

Why did Sally fall of the swingset?

She had no arms. BONUS JOKE: Knock Knock. Who's there Not Sally.

What would you do if you broke your arm in two places?

Vanderkron: I wouldn't go to these places no more!

What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?

I dont know, hes still trying to kick it open.

What do you call a man with three arms and a pegleg?

I have no idea because the actual joke is always in the comments.

How are you doing this morning?

Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you

What do you call a child with no arms and no legs swimming in a pool?

Bob.

What do you call a pirate with two legs, two arms and two eyes?

Noob.

What did the russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time?

You're my brother in arms!"

Why did the football player laugh when he broke his arm?

Because it was humerus.

How did the Idiot break his arm while raking leaves?

He fell out of the tree.

Why couldn't Harry play basketball?

Because he's got no arms.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leafs?

Russel

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

What do you call a kid with no arms and legs playing baseball?

2nd base.

You might also enjoy:

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What food describes most men?

Jerky.

What happened when the man asked the salesman for a good belt?

O.K. you asked for it" the salesman said as he gave him a good belt.

Little Girl Jokes More Little Girl Jokes

Why did the little girl fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms

Why didn't the little girl want to leave nursery school?

A: She wanted to be a nurse.

Swing Jokes More Swing Jokes

Why did Jill fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms. Why did she not get back up? Because she had no legs. What did Jill get for Christmas? A bicycle.

Why cant billy ride the swings?

he has no arms. knock knock. Whos there Not billy

Cost Jokes More Cost Jokes

What does it cost for a pirate to get his ear pierced?

A buck-an-ear

Why couldn't the clown make balloon animals for the children?

With inflation raising the cost he couldn't afford it.

Right Jokes More Right Jokes

How does the balance sheet of a bank look like as of today?

On the left side there's nothing right and on the right side there's nothing left...

Why did the Siamese twins move to England?

So the one on the right could drive for a change.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you do when you lose your Kia car?

You go Soul-searching.

What happened when the owl lost his voice ?

He didn't give a hoot !

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs?

None, he fell.

How did the pollock die raking leaves?

He fell out of the tree.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What do you call a car that you only drive in the fall?

An autumn-mobile.

What do driving and dating have in common?

Both end up with you being chased by the police if you go too fast.