Person Jokes

What do Kanye West and North Korea have in common?

They are both being screwed by a person named Kim.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call... What do you call it when a person in a wheelchair tries to get through a non-automatic door?

A tard time

How many light bulbs does it take to change a person?

None. Light bulbs don't change anything.

What do you call a person that's not doing anything at a temple?

An idle worshiper.

What do you call a person who knows 3 languages?

Trilingual. What do you call a person who knows 2 languages Bilingual. What do you call a person who knows only one language American.

What do you call a person who speaks three languages?

Trilingual! Two Languages Bilingual! Only one language Americans

What did the cat... Say to the person?

Nothing, because cats don't speak.

What is in common between a napkin and a person?

If you sleep with a person, he/she is ur nap-kin.

What do you call a person who falls onto you on a train ?

A laplander !

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic agnostic who has insomnia?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

How do you get a person with podophobia to leave?

Just say "shoe".

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call a borderline racial slur about a person of Asian decent?

A slippery slope.

What do you call a person whose wife was the Queen, daughter is a Princess and his boss is the Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

What do you call a person who teaches you the art of farting?

A tooter

How many calories does heartache burn?

Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.

What do you get when... ...you cross a religious skeptic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac?

A person who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

What's the integral of 1/cabin with respect to cabin?

Person 2: A log cabin! Person 1: No, a houseboat. You forgot to add the C!!

What do you call a person who fights fire?

Firefighter.

Who these days is hard "Is your person white?

Excuse me " "Is your person white " "I don't see skin color I just see people"

What do you call a person who worships Doritos?

A Chipmonk.

What do you call a person who whores themselves out for spaghetti?

A Pastatute

What do you call a person with a nose but no body?

Nobody knows

What is the one type of person that will never get angry?

A nomad.

What did the person say when a flood struck his house?

Damn it!

What do you call a person with no brain?

A no-brainer

Whats the point of calling it "secret Santa"?

Everyone knows that the person who gave you the gift is Santa.

Why don't Brits like revolving doors?

Because they can't hold it for the next person.

How do Iranians speak on the telephone?

Persian-to-Persian (person-to-person).

How can you tell if a person is a vegetarian?

Don't worry. They'll tell you they're a vegetarian.

What do a black guy and a paraplegic have in common?

They're both only three fifths of a person

How can you spot a vegan in a crowded lunch hall?

Don't worry, they'll tell you and every other person there!

What'd you do?

PERSON: Ran a half-marathon and helped my pal move. You ME: I talked to like 4 people.

Why is a sinking ship like a person in jail?

Because it needs bailing out.

What's the difference between Here and There?

When you're right the whole room shouts "Here, here!" But when you're wrong one person pats you on the back and says "There, there."

What person shows you around a mental hospital?

Tour-ettes :)

What do you call a person with ten dollars?

A college student.

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, agnostic and an insomniac?

A person who stays up all night contemplating the existence of dog.

Why are all those people running?

A: Why are all those people running B: They are running a race to get a cup. A: Who will get the cup B: The person who wins. A: Then why are all the others running

What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

Student: A teacher!

What did the drifter say to the person he hit ?

RIP my E-brake

What do you call a person who got straight "D's" in medical school?

A Doctor.

Why do you want to learn jujitsu?

Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.

What do you call a person who steals and is then praised by his/her friends?

A Redditor.

What do you call a person who sleeps next to dead bodies at night?

Morgue Attendant

Why do people knock on a locked public restroom door?

And what is the person inside to say "who is it "

Who's the most unpopular person at the Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch football match?

The person who shouted "Give me an L!"

Why is it illegal for a person living in Virginia to be buried in Texas?

because they're still alive.

What do you call a insomniac dyslexic agnostic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog!

What will you call a person who sleeps next to a close relative?

A) NapKin

You might also enjoy:

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What kind of teeth can you buy with a dollar?

Buck teeth!

How did SkyMall go bankrupt?

I bought all my wife's birthday presents there before she left me.

Dawg Jokes More Dawg Jokes

What's Clifford's favorite gum?

Big Red, dawg.

What's up dawg?

Me: Up dawg Person: What is that Me: What is what Person: Whats up dawg Me: nothing much hbu Person: ...

Trilingual Jokes More Trilingual Jokes

What do you call a person who knows 3 languages?

Trilingual. What do you call a person who knows 2 languages Bilingual. What do you call a person who knows only one language American.

What do you call someone who speaks 2 languages?

Bilingual What do you call someone who speaks 3 languages? Trilingual. What do you call someone who speaks only 1 language? American.

Neapolitan Jokes More Neapolitan Jokes

What do you call a love triangle between a white person, a black person and a native american?

Neapolitan.

How do you describe Neapolitan ice cream to someone?

Your two favorite flavors plus strawberry

Trigger Jokes More Trigger Jokes

Why don't feminists carry handguns?

Because of the triggers. I'm sorry

What happens when a feminist shoots a gun?

The gun gets triggered.

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What did the 2 say to the 3?

Do you even, bro?

Why were Star Wars Episodes 4, 5, and 6 released before 1, 2, and 3?

Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.

Black Person Jokes More Black Person Jokes

Why do black people never dream?

Cause the last black person who dreamed, got shot.

What do you call a black person from Niger?

A Nigerian, you racist

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What did one cheese say to the other?

I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate!

What does Pingu say when he feels suicidal?

Noose Noose