Snowden Jokes

What does a whistle-blower do during a Russian blizzard?

Nothing, he's Snowden.

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Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden. (I'll see myself out)

Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower pick up his dry-cleaning?

Because he was Snowden! (Snowed in)

Why is Edward still in Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia?

The airport is Snowden

Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country?

He was Snowden.

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

Why couldn't the NSA go outside?

They were Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave his house this Winter?

He was Snowden.

Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport?

Because he was Snowden.

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Why didn't Edward leave his house?

Because he was Snowden.

What did the whistleblower say after the blizzard in Russia?

I'm Snowden!

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA do anything after the blizzard?

Because they were Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport?

Because he was Snowden...

Why was the whistleblower late for his annual winter whistleblower's convention?

Because he was Snowden!

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?

Because he was Snowden

Whats the difference between Zoidburg and Snowden?

both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!

Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter?

He'll be Snowden.

Why does Edward never leave Russia?

He's always Snowden.

Why can't Edward leave Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why couldn't the man leave Moscow?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower step outside?

Because it's Snowden.

What did the NSA say to Russia after the blizzard?

We're Snowden!

Why couldn't the NSA leave their houses?

They got Snowden.

Why was the NSA computer programmer late for work?

Because he got Snowden

Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave the Russian airport?

Because he got Snowden!

Why couldn't the ex-CIA agent leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why do they put half of the instructions in Spanish?

It drives me crazy. I feel like I am missing out on important information. They should put the whole thing in one language.

What was the only thing missing from phil hughes' last innings?

a duck

Blizzard Jokes More Blizzard Jokes

What do you call a whistleblower stuck in a blizzard?

Snowd-en

Why do you call the US government when a blizzard of secret information gets released?

They're snowed-en!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?

A: Terrorists have sympathizers.

What's the difference between an old-time organ grinder and a heroin addict?

One has a monkey on a leash and the other has a monkey on his back.

Snow Jokes More Snow Jokes

What did Helen Keller say when she fell into the snow?

Nothing, she was wearing mittens.

Why did ygritte break up with Jon Snow?

She didn't want six inches of snow all year long.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do you get when you mix an Insomniac a Dyslexic and an Agnostic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog

What did one hat say to the other?

You stay here, I'll go on ahead...."

Moscow Jokes More Moscow Jokes

Why did the flight from Warsaw to Moscow crash?

There were Poles on the right half of the plane.

Where do Russians get their milk from?

From moscow

Folk Jokes More Folk Jokes

What do you call the hot tub that two folks just made love in?

H2OOOHHHGG

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

How did the chewing gum cross the road?

A: By sticking to the chicken's foot.

How is a chronic disease unlike the 9th Doctor, but like the 10th Doctor?

It sticks around for more than 1 Season, and doesn't want to go.