Cow Jokes

How do cows talk to each other?

They cowmoonicate.

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What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?

Deja Moo!

What's the difference between cows and bulls?

It takes longer to milk the bull.

What do you call a cow with a hysterectomy?

Decalfinated.

What's the difference between a cow and the Holocaust?

A cow can't be milked for 70 years.

Why are cows so famous?

Because they're out-standing in their field.

What do you call a cow that can't moo?

A milk dud Credit to my 5 year old nephew

What do cows get when they are sick?

Hay Fever

What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ?

An udder failure !

What do cows like to line dance to ?

Any kind of moosic you like !

What do you call cow without a girlfriend?

Beef Stroken off

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Where do cows like to live?

St. Moo-is.

What makes the noise of a cow when you turn it upside down?

A cow.

What did the butcher say to the cow?

I love you for your inner beauty.

What did the cow say to the horse?

Mooooooo

What does a cow call his mate?

Oxfam.

What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?

Happy Birthday to MOO Happy Birthday to Moo

Why did your sister feed money to her cow ?

Because she wanted to get rich milk.

Who do cows pray to?

Moohammad

What do cows read at the breakfast table?

The moospaper!

What do cows do in traffic?

They moove

Why did the cow drink his own milk?

He needed the cowlcium.

What goes oo ooo oooo?

A cow with no lips.

What did the cow say to the paintbrush?

Moo. As told by my kid this morning.

Where do cows go on Saturday nights?

The slaughter house

What does a cow measure its harddrive in?

Moogabytes

What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?

Eski-moos!

Why don't cows ever have any money?

Because the farmers milk them dry!

What's in front of a woman and in the back of a cow?

The W. Yeah my dad just busted this joke on me.

Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who?

No, cows go moo.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef!

Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

What do you call a cow on a trampoline?

A milk shake!

What kind of magic do cows believe in?

MOODOO.

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Why did Jesus fall on the side of the road?

Because he was crossed.

What do they say when a woman falls over?

FULL SPEED AHEAD!" Sauce: https://www.youtube.com/watch v=OA8TlOsVw#t=82

Round Jokes More Round Jokes

What do you call a group of sorority girls/fraternity guys standing in a circle?

A round of applause ...because they all have the clap.

How do you make an apple puff?

Chase it round the garden

Leg Ground Beef Jokes More Leg Ground Beef Jokes

What do you call cows with 2 legs?

Lean beef. bonus: What do you call cows with no legs Ground beef.

What do you call a cow... What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean Beef. What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef. What do you call a cow with epilepsy Beef Jerky.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do you call your wife and mother-in-law when they're riding in the same car?

Dual air bags.

How many words does it take to start a car?

Forwards

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

How many SEC football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1. And they get 3 credits for it.

What is your fee?

Lawyer says: "1000 US dollars for 3 questions." Man: "Wow - so much! Isn't it a bit expensive " Lawyer: "Yes, what is your third question "

Lean Beef Jokes More Lean Beef Jokes

What do you call a cow with only legs on one side?

Lean Beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

Why did the pet owner get upset with his parrot?

because he was using too much fowl language

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the cold jellyfish ?

It set !

What happened when Isaac Newton met the apple?

He found the apple was a surprisingly down-to-Earth kinda guy.