Leg Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep?

Mat

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Why do women have legs for?

To not leave a snail trail behind them.

What has six legs and goes "Hodeedo, hodeedo?

Three black guys about to miss the elevator

Why do they say "break a leg !" to actors ?

If you said "tear an ACL !" to a star athlete, you'd be shot on the spot.

What do you call a cookie without legs?

A cookie

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch?

Names.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who's trying to get home?

A taxi

What has four legs but doesn't move?

A: A statue of a dog!

What kind of tea do you pay an arm and a leg for?

Amputee

What do you call a cow that's missing a leg?

A 3 legged cow

How do you teach a girl math?

Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, give her a square root and watch her multiply.

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What is red and crawls up your leg?

An abortion with homesickness.

This joke may have profanity.

What do you call a corn dog with no legs?

A *corn dog*, stupid! Corn dogs don't have legs!

What did your mom's leg say to her other leg?

Nothing they've never met.

What has four legs and goes meow?

A crocodile. -You won !"

What did John Wilkes Boothe's stage partner wish him on the day of that tragic night?

Break a leg. So he jumped off the balcony... Sorry that I am not funny.

What do you call a ginger bread man with one leg?

A. Limp Bizkit. (limp biscuit) (Alternate: What do the British call a cookie that got wet )

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other Ilene. What do you cal an Asian woman with one leg shorter than the other?

Irene

How do you walk a dog with no legs?

You don't, you pick it up.

What's got six legs and can fly long distances ?

Three swallows !

When you put a baby into a blender, why do you put her in legs first ?

A : So that you can see the expression on the face.........

What does a leg do when it gets exasperated?

It thighs.

What has two legs and red all over?

Half a puppy... I'm sorry

What do you call a man with no arms or legs who likes to go swimming?

Bob.

Why did the dog say he was an actor?

His leg was in a cast.

What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.

Why did the dog roll down the hill?

It didn t have any legs.

What has no eyes and four legs?

No idea.

What do you call a child with no arms and no legs swimming in a pool?

Bob.

How do you find a girl with no legs?

Follow the slime trail.

What do you call a pirate with two legs, two arms and two eyes?

Noob.

What has four legs but can't walk?

A chair.

What's better than winning the Paralympics?

A: Having legs!

What does the kid with no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leafs?

Russel

Why did the woman turn to her husband and say "now who the hell would dump such a nice sofa out here in the woods?

She was looking at a bear and thought it was a sofa due to the four legs.

Which part of the body goes to heaven first?

A Kid replied: The legs... Because everynight I see my mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING!! XD

What happens when a guy with no legs dies?

He punches the bucket

What do you call a kid with no arms and legs playing baseball?

2nd base.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef!

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud.

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