Baker Jokes

Why does the baker have so many loaves?

Because they bred.

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why did the baker have brown hands?

He was kneading a poo.

Why was the Baker a part-time drug dealer?

Because he really kneaded the dough. (please forgive me for that awful pun)

Why/How do bakers work?

They knead the dough.

What is the difference between a baker baking a cake and a gynecologist giving an exam?

A few degrees.

What did the soccer player shout to the baker who's cakes kept sticking to the tin?

LINE IT!"

How did the baker put his opponent in checkmate?

with an en croissant

What do you call a confused baker?

I dough know.

Why did the baker rob the deer park?

He kneaded the doe. (Doesn't work too well in text)

Why did the Baker rob the Banker?

Cause he knead that dough. ........ Sorry I'm drunk

Why do bakers start working so early in the morning?

Because they knead dough.

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What did the baker name her dog?

Pido.

Why did the baker only date large breasted women?

Because he kneaded them.

What do you call a baker who doesn't make bread?

I don't dough!

Why did the baker's hands smell?

Because he kneaded a poo.

Why did the baker have smelly fingers?

Because he kneaded a poo.

Why did the baker have so many customers?

He desperately kneaded the dough!

What did the dough say to the baker?

You, knead me.

Why does the baker bake?

Because he kneads the dough.

What did the baker say when he saw the beautiful woman?

I think I'm in loaf." Ba dum, tss.

Why did the baker go to work?

He kneaded the dough!

Why did the baker get smelly fingers?

Because he needed a poo.

What does a racist baker exclaim?

white flour!

What do you call a red-headed baker?

A Ginger-bread man

How do most bakers get their start in the industry?

They knead dough

What did the baker say about her co-worker who never sleeps and always smells funky?

At yeast he's a fungi.

Why did the former fitter turned baker enter the lottery?

To win dough.

How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date?

Bring her flours

What does the baker turned counterfeiter say?

I make my own dough". My sister Katie came up with this one.

What's the best part of a baker's body?

Their buns.

What's a baker's biggest fear?

Something going a-rye while they're raisin' bread.

What do you call a baker with red hair?

A ginger bread man

How can you tell that a baker's hands are on fire?

He can't seem to *stop droppin' rolls*.

Why did the baker rob the bank?

He needed the dough.

Why do bakers work so hard?

Because they knead the dough.

What does a baker say when he/she makes a mistake?

Dough!"

Why do bakers go into business?

Because they knead the dough

What did the unused dough say to the baker?

Why don't you knead me

What does a baker wear on his feet?

Loafers.

Why was the baker happy when his pie caught fire in the oven?

He was a pieromaniac.

What did the baker say to the dough before he put it in the oven?

You are no longer kneaded."

Why did the baker bake more bread?

A: He kneaded the dough.

Why were the bakers hands brown?

Because he kneeded a poo

What did the Jamaican Priest say to the Baker's rolls?

You a cinnamon.

What do you call a redneck family of bakers?

Inbread!

What did the retires baker say to the Dough on the table?

I don't knead you anymore.

Why did the Baker keep going to the ATM?

He kneaded the dough

Who did the baker bring to work?

His doughter.

What did the baker say to the baby lamb who stole his dough?

Oh baby ewe...you got what I knead!"

Why did the baker... Why did the baker have dirty hands?

Because he kneaded a poo.... HAHAHAHA

What did the baker say after he found the dough he had lost?

That's just what I kneaded!

What happens when doughnuts join a sorority?

They have to go through the glazing. I'm sorry I'm a baker it just came to me... Pun-ishment is in order.

Why did the baker's hands stink?

Because he needed a crap.

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What's the difference between a dry, moldy cranberry and an angry blue bird?

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What's the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad?

One trains the mind the other minds the train.

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Why do people starve?

When food tastes so good.

How do you starve an black man?

Hide his food stamps under his work boots.

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How does a Japanese person distinguish between a German and an extraterrestrial?

He doesn't, they are both Aryans.

What do German kids play on the playground?

Guten tag!

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What did the dash say when he failed his exam?

I underscored."

Why cant college students take exams at the zoo?

Too many cheetahs

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Edi si AnTWOnio Luna. Yeah yeah, the result of being stuck in the traffic. XD

What do you call a man with a shovel stuck in his head?

An ambulance because that is a serious medical emergency that requires immediate attention.

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Why are south italian men so small?

Because when they are kids their mothers always tell them: "If you grow up you have to work" *Translated from italian hope it makes as much sense as there

What Would Beyonce Do?

Would she apply for a job Nope. She'd just show up one day like "I work here now."

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Why did the baker's hands stink?

Because he needed a crap.

Why were the baker's hands brown?

Because he kneaded a poo.

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What do you get by cross-breeding a jehovahs witness and an atheist?

Someone who pointlessly knocks on the door.

How many pandas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Technically, just two, but it is really hard to get them to breed in captivity.