Parrot Jokes

What do you call a Magician with a Parrot?

Pollygone

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Why didn't the parrot want the black guy to buy him?

Polly want a Cracker.

What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot. :

Why did the pet owner get upset with his parrot?

because he was using too much fowl language

What kind of work out do parrots have on leg day?

SQUAAATS! ...Polly want a cracker.

What do you get when you combine a parrot and a centipede?

A walkie talkie!

What did the pirate tell his littler sister when she asked if she could hold his parrot?

ISIS

What do you call a parrot wearing a raincoat?

Polyunsaturated

Why do we put a hyphen in a bird-cage?

Pupil: For a parrot to perch on miss.

What's a parrot's favourite song?

I love Parrots in the Springtime!

What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath?

Polly unsaturated!

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What's the definition of Parity?

Two parrots exactly the same!

Why is it so hard to pull over on the Pirate Highway?

Because there's a parrot on the shoulder.

What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?

Nobody is sure but if it opened its mouth to speak you'd listen!

What do you get when you cross a caterpillar and a parrot?

A: A walkie-talkie.

How can you tell if a parrot is intelligent?

It speaks in Polly-syllables!

What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A: A polygon!

Whose parrot sits on his shoulder shouting "Pieces of four"?

Short John Silver!

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker ?

A bird that talks in morse code !

Where'd you get that?

The parrot says, "In France. They're everywhere!"

Where did you get it?

Africa" Says the parrot.

Why don't parrot's like black people?

Because Polly wants a cracker.

How do you get a parrot to talk properly ?

Send him to polytechnic !

Where'd you get it?

Africa," says the parrot.

What kind of a fish does your Parrot sit on?

A Perch!

What do get if you cross a parrot and a crocodile?

A: An animal that talks your head off.

Why did the parrot wear a raincoat ?

Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated !

What do you get when you cross a millipede with a parrot?

A Walkie Talkie

What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot ?

A carrot !

Where'd ya get it?

The parrot says, "Africa." (I don't know if you know this one, but I just heard it today)

Whoa, cool. Where did you get him?

The parrot says, "Africa! There are loads of them running around!"

Where did you get that thing?

Parrot says, "Africa."

What is a parrot?

A wordy birdy!

Where did you get him?

The parrot says, "Detroit."

What did the parrot say when he was using the Internet?

P.Cs of eight P.Cs of eight.

What did the parrot say when he saw a duck?

Polly want a quacker!

What do you call a Parrot that loves maths and hates food?

a polynomeal

What flies through the jungle singing opera ?

The parrots of Penzance !

What did the parrot say on Independence Day?

Polly wants a firecracker!

What do you get if you cross a bee with a parrot?

An animal that's always telling you how busy it is!

Why is politics for the birds?

Because politiciands always parrot the same old lines!

What's the definition of a Polygamist?

Pupil: A parrot with more than one wife!

What do you call the place where parrots make films?

Pollywood!

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark ?

A bird that will talk you ear off !

Why did the black man have to sell his parrot?

because polly wanted a cracker

What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant ?

An animal that tells you everything that it remembers !

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot.

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Sore Throat Jokes More Sore Throat Jokes

What's worse than a centipede with sore feet?

A giraffe with a sore throat.

What's small, orange and sounds like a parrot?

An oompa loompa with a sore throat.

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

Why are pirates, pirates?

They just .

Why do pirates have trouble walking?

Arrrr-thritis

Fowl Language Jokes More Fowl Language Jokes

Why did the pet owner get upset with his parrot?

because he was using too much fowl language

Why did the chicken get into so much trouble?

Because of its fowl language.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What sound does a Baroque chicken make?

Bach Bach Bach Bach

What's the sound of a one-handed corpse clapping?

Dead silence. What's the sound of a one-handed zombie clapping? Undead silence. Thanks to my gaming group for those.

Pupil Jokes More Pupil Jokes

Why do we put a hyphen in a bird-cage?

Pupil: For a parrot to perch on miss.

Why have you got cotton wool in your ears do you have an infection ?

Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How do feminists screw in a lightbulb?

By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them EDIT: Rip inbox EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold!

How does a feminist screw in a light bulb?

She doesn't, she just holds it in the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.

Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

What does a spanglish speaking chicken say when it's sorry?

I apollogize.

How can you tell if a parrot is intelligent?

It speaks in Polly-syllables!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell that Caitlyn Jenner was once a man?

Because she's better at being a woman than most women are.

Whats the difference between a shower thought and a joke?

I don't know you tell me.