Cheese Jokes

How is making cheese like invading Syria?

You get some Kurds in the way.

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What do you call the god of cheese?

Cheesus

What did the cheese say to its reflection?

Halloumi!

What's a monk's favorite kind of cheese?

Smoked buddha.

Who is the commander of cheese?

Sargento

What kind of cheese is made backwards?

Edam.

What type of cheese is not yours?

Nacho cheese!!!

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese

Why is it impossible to say no to french fries with cheese and bacon?

Because it's a loaded question!

What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of its cage?

Camembert

What do you call cheese that's not yours?

Colby Jack's.

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Why was the cheese so sad?

Because it was provOLONE

What kind of cheese can be used to build a structure?

Cottage cheese.

What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?

Haloumi!

What's Emperor Palpatine's favorite kind of cheese?

Gouda, gouda..."

What do you call a Mexican drowning in a vat of cheese?

Nacho problem.

What did the mouse say when his cheese was stolen?

Rats!

What is the most independent kind of cheese?

Prov alone.

How does cheese get more mature?

Fromage

What kind of cheese gives out money?

Prova I just came up with that and feel pretty proud (:

What does a German call a party without Sausage and Cheese?

A Wurst-Kse Scenario

How do you get wishes from cheese?

You fed-a-genie!

What did the cheese say to itself in the in the mirror?

halloumi

What do cheese and cancer have in common?

Americans put it everywhere!

What kind of cheese would you use to disguise a small horse?

Mascarpone

What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

What do you call cheese that isn't your cheese?

NACHO-CHEESE

What smells of cheese and is filled with holes?

About 100 French people right now

Why did the cheese cry?

It was degrating.

Why did Carrie Underwood run out of cheese?

Because Jesus took the wheel.

What sort of cheese do you use to get a bear to go on a outing with you?

Camembert

What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection?

Quarter-pounder with cheese

What do you call an anorexic with thrush?

A quarter pounder with cheese

What do you call cheese that's not yours ?

Nacho cheese

What do you want on your tombstone?

Pepperoni and cheese.

What cheese is used to block online streaming?

Edam

What do you call a man with a fetish for US currency who works on a dairy farm?

A quarter-pounder with cheese.

What do u call an ethopian with a slice of cheese on his head?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

What is Gucci Mane's favorite kind of cheese?

Gruyauuuurrrrrrrrrr

What's better than cheese?

A cheese grater

What do you call a mouse with cheese but no crackers?

Cracka-lackin

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

NA'CHO CHEESE

What kind of cheese is best to watch Lost with?

Smoked Muenster.

What do you call an empty jar of Cheese Whiz?

Cheese was.

What do you call a quaterpounder with cheese in Zimbabwe?

A yeast infection!

What does cheese say to itself when taking a selfie in the mirror?

Hallooooo me!

What do you call an anorexic blonde with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese !

What type of cheese can you see in a mirror?

Halloumi! (Hello me)

What's the difference between Limburger cheese and my friend Ted?

One is white and stinks, and the other is cheese. (As told to me by the UPS guy)

What happened to the Greek dairy farmer who got robbed on his way to market?

He was un-feta-ed of his cheese.

Why don't French people smile in pictures?

The French word for "cheese" is "fromage".

What does cheese say when you take its picture?

Make sure you get my Gouda side!

How does Jennifer Lopez like her cheese?

From the block.

How do you discuss cheese with a Welshman?

Very Caerphilly.

What state makes exclusively swiss cheese?

Swisconsin.

What do you call a cheese that isn't yours?

NACHO CHEESE!

What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection?

A cracker with cheese.

What did the tomato say to the cheese in court?

I rest my queso.

What is a sorority girl's favorite type of cheese?

Feta

What cheese do hunters use to goad a bear out from its cave in the winter?

Camenbert

What cheese is not yours?

Not your cheese....

What do you call a girl with anorexia and a yeast infection?

a quarter pounder with cheese.

What would you tell someone who is attempting to steal your cheese (hint: not "nacho cheese")?

Leave my provolone!

What kind of cheese do you use to hide a small horse?

Mascarpone!

What kind of cheese do you use to entice a bear?

Camembert!

Why do white people like cheese so much?

Because they're made from cultures! Edit: Five BLM members disliked this post.

Why did the cheese get sent to the asylum?

Coz 'e-mmental!

What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ?

Thanks I'll just have a sliver !

What do you call a cheese that's not yours?

My cheese!

Who's cheese is on those chips?

Fixed And I said, "Well, obviously *na-chos*." Get it It sounds like '*not yours*' with an accent.

What did one cheese say to the other?

I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate!

Why do Germans fear hotdogs with cheese?

Because for them, it is a Wurst-Kase scenario.

What do they call the Hunger Games in France?

Battle Royale with Cheese.

What cheese is the most religious?

Swiss cheese! (it's the most hole-y)

What do you call an Ethiopian woman with a yeast infection?

A quarter-pounder with cheese

What do you call an Italian guy whos afraid of cheese?

Alfredo

What cheese can never be yours?

Nacho cheese.

What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?

Camembert!

What do you call cheese that is by itself?

Provolone

What's the most annoying thing about making cheese?

The curds get in the whey!

What's the best part about twenty two year old wheels of cheese?

There are twenty of them.

What do you call a goat that likes cheese with their pasta?

Maaaac

What kind of house does cheese like to live in?

A cottage"

Why did ranch break up with chicken wings?

Because he blue cheese...

What do you call an anorexic lady with a yeast infection?

A Quarter Ponder with Cheese.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Someone else's cheese.

Where do cheeses go to the bathroom?

In a Parma-John.

What do you call a dead baby with a yeast infection?

a quarter pounder with cheese.

Why did they ruin this pizza with so much cheese?

SNOE

What do you call an empty cheese whiz jar?

Cheese Was! some old guy came up to me on the street and told me this one.

How have you done that?

I don't know how but every time I run through that maze and ring the bell he gives me a piece of cheese.

What do you call an anorexic.. What do you call an anorexic chick with a yeast infection?

Quarter-pounder with cheese

What kind of cheese?

Me: "American..." Her: "Want it toasted " Me: "I'll just make it myself."

What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection?

A quarter-pounder with cheese.

What do you call an Ethiopian with a piece of cheese on his head?

Quarter pounder with cheese!

What do you say to an art student with a job?

Uhh, I would like the Quarter Pounder with Cheese"

What cheese do you use to hide a horse?

Mascarpone!

Why wouldn't the mouse tell the police where he hid the cheese?

Because he's not a rat.

What's a mouse's favourite record ?

Please cheese me !

What do you call cheese that is not yours?

Nacho Cheese.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What's the hardest part of breaking up with a leper ?

They always leave a piece of themselves behind.

How can you tell a hippie's been in your house?

He's still there when you get home. What's he say when you tell him to leave? "Na, 'ma stay"

Tonight Jokes More Tonight Jokes

How did the mystic respond when asked what he's doing tonight?

Your mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

What did Dodi Fayed say to his driver?

Want to go out with me and Di tonight?

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What's the definition of "Trust"?

Two cannibals giving each other head

Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny?

Because its head is on one side and its tail is on the other.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

How did the turtle call his friends?

on his shellphone

Why did the mushroom have so many friends?

He was a fungi.

Nacho Jokes More Nacho Jokes

What type of cheese is not yours?

Nacho cheese!!!

What do you call chips that aren't yours?

Nacho chips

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's up ?

Boy: If I tell you, will you sit on it

Whats the most essential part of telling a joke about terrorism?

an explosive punchline

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What do the Scottish people call iPhone?

A: an AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)

How do you bring a joke to the front page?

deleted

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honey combs!

What does the aquarium janitor use to clean?

She uses all-porpoise cleaner!