Sound Jokes

Where are the best sounding farts listed?

Sharts.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What sound does a Greek gun make?

TZZZZAT, TZZZZZZZAT!

What sound does a space turkey make?

Hubble, hubble, hubble shamelessly stolen joke from the Facebook page of "Grammarly"

What sound does a bouncing plane make?

Boeing boeing boeing

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung

What does it sound like when Java laughs?

Java -jar jar.jar

What sound does a street sweeper make?

Broom Broom

What is Sean Murray's favorite song ?

The sound of silence

What does a North Korean ricochet sound like?

PYONG! YANG!

Whats the different between falling from the 10th floor and falling from the 1st floor ?

The sound you make 10th floor " AHHHHHHHHH " 1st floor " AHHHHHHHHHH "

What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot. :

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What sound does a chocolate bird make?

Cacao! Cacao!

Why do most blind folks not skydive?

The sound of the dog screaming at 8000 feet gets to you after a while.

How does a Plutonium Gun sounds like?

Pu! Pu! Pu!

Why do New Zealand farmers now wear kilts?

Because the sheep have gotten used to the sound of zippers

What sound does a pool make when someone you don't like jumps in?

DOOOOUUUUCCCCHHHEEEEEE!

What's addicting?

The sound an erection makes when it hits a cymbal.

What did the car-painter say to the carpenter?

You sound just like me!"

What does it sounds like when a Japanese Homer Simpson forgets how to count to 11?

Nin, ten, " ....I'll leave now.

What did the doctor say to the lizard who was complaining about problems performing in the bedroom?

It sounds like you have a reptile dysfunction.

What's the hardest thing about being an audiophile?

Convincing the sound to get into your van.

What sound did the slot machine make when the Chinese person won the jackpot?

Cha-chink!

Why is there so much "twang" in Country music?

It is the sound a guitar makes after six or seven generations of inbreeding.

What do you have left after you burn a French alphabet?

H Edit: I don't like explaining jokes but since the first guy didn't get I might as well: When pronounced in a French accent it sounds like ash.

What's the sound of a one-handed corpse clapping?

Dead silence. What's the sound of a one-handed zombie clapping? Undead silence. Thanks to my gaming group for those.

What sound does a cow make?

Sssssssss....

What sounds like a frog but keeps me up all night?

reddit

What's small, orange and sounds like a parrot?

An oompa loompa with a sore throat.

How do bored cows sound like?

Meh

What does it sound like when two churches fight?

Pew Pew PEWPEWPEW!!!

What sound does a baby make when you put it in a microwave?

I don't know....I was too busy masterbating.

What sound does a horny toad make?

rub it rub it.

This joke may have profanity.

What does it sound like to shoot yourself in the foot twice?

Pao! Pao!

What sound does Reddit make when it blows up?

Pao! Edit: Whoa, FP gold. Thank you!

How can you call someone and sound fabulous?

Use a homophone.

What sound does a Filipino horse make when it gallops?

Tagalog-tagalog-tagalog-tagalog.

What do schizophrenic people think when they say an insensitive joke?

That sounded a lot better in my head

What sound does an emo cow make?

Amumu

What sound does a Baroque chicken make?

Bach Bach Bach Bach

What sound does a piano make when falling down a mine shaft?

A-flat minor.

What sound does a subatomic Cow make?

Muuuuuuon

What does it sound like when a pterodactyl uses the bathroom?

Nothing, the pee is silent

What sound does a shotgun make?

Cobain Cobain

What sound does Korean bread make when it hits a wall?

Bang! (!)

What sound does a Hispanic pacman make?

Guac-a Guac-a!

Why does carpet never make a sound?

It's the world's quietest pervert.

What's the sound of a water truck hitting a vinegar truck?

KAAA DOOOUUCHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is loud and sounds like "apple"?

scream) APPLE!!!

What sound does a fratboy make when he hits the water?

DOUCHE

What sound does a pinewood derby car make when you rev it?

Wooooooden Woooooooden Woooooden!

What was the deaf mans favorite song?

The Sound of Silence.

How do you greet an overweight Micronesian when you're trying to sound cool?

Microsoft Word.

How do Asians name their babies?

They throw a drawer of silverware down the stairs and name it whatever sound it makes.

What kind of sounds does Jaimie Foxx make in the bedroom?

No sound at all, the D is silent

What sound does a Japanese camera make?

Crick"

What does it sound like when a Pterodactyl urinates?

There is no sound... The P is silent.

What sound does a racist machine gun make?

kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

How do you make a cat sounds like a dog?

Douse it in gasoline and set it on fire. !

What does the new socialist leader of France mean for the country, Europe, and the world?

Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too.

What does GOP mean?

GOP" is onomatopoeic: it's the sound of anonymous penetration in public bathrooms late at night. -&y

Why did a man's pet vulture not make a sound for five years?

It was stuffed.

What sound does a Chinese roller coaster make as it goes up an incline?

chink chink chink chink

How long are you supposed to wait to return a boy's call?

This IRS guy sounded pretty into me

What the sound of a rainbow laughing?

Hue hue hue hue

What do you call the sound a ghost makes when he calls you?

A phone moan.

What sound does a banambulance make?

Naner naner naner

Who's cheese is on those chips?

Fixed And I said, "Well, obviously *na-chos*." Get it It sounds like '*not yours*' with an accent.

What's the last sound you hear before a pube hits the floor?

tppppthh...."spit sound"

What sound does a Turkey make?

coup coup"

What do Jedi sheep sound like?

Dagobah.

How do you spell onomatopoeia?

Just spell it like the way it sounds!

What is the Asian firefighter's favorite song?

The Sound of Sirens

What sound does an Italian make when you shoot him?

Wop

What sound does a bomb make before it goes off?

allahu ackbar!!

What sound is emitted by a drowning mathematician?

log log log log log log log log log...

Where do you go to weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow weigh a pie. (sounds like way up high)

What's loud and sounds like "apples"?

APPLES!!!*

What sound does a pigeon make when kicked in the nuts?

A high coo(/spoiler)

What sound did they make?

Bum-bum tssh!

When an avocado and a duck mate, what sound does the offspring make?

Guac!

Why doesn't Nigel Farage like election forecasts?

He dislikes poles polls How do you type jokes that rely on similar sounding words It hard :(

Why is Princess Peach named after a fruit and Princess Daisy named after a flower?

Because wanting to sound good is their OBJECTion

What sound does an Italian American microwave make?

Bada bing!

What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables?

Stephen Hawking.

What sound do dogs make?

3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.

Why do Chinese people sound like lions when you tell them a joke?

Because they ror.

What sound does a turkey now make?

Coup.

What sound does a Nintendo Ambulence make?

Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U.

What sound does a Polish crow make?

Krakow

What sound does a debugging Web Developer make?

Open, Close!.................. Open, Close!.................. Open, Close!.................. *only true Web Developers will understand* *original joke*

What is the sound of one hand typing?

Fap-fap-fap.

What sound does a black widow make?

My husband be dead

What's the sound that 10 stubby fingers make on a desk?

Drumpf Drumpf Drumpf Drumpf Drumpf...*

What do Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music and Keith Richards have in common?

They both made habits fashionable.

What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?

Cowboom!

What is loud and sounds like an apple?

AN APPLE!**

What sound was made when a water truck collided with a vinegar truck?

DOUCHE!!!

How do you spell no?

Me: Sound it out. What makes the na na na na na na na na na sound 4: Batman (Spelling is hard)

What sound do two photons make when they hit each other?

Planck!*

What sound does a dying Turkey make?

Coup coup coup

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Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What do you call a cow that gets hit by a car?

A dead cow! (My 5-year old made up this joke)

Why are police officers bad at Billiards?

They hit eight ball first because it was black.

List Jokes More List Jokes

Why don't they have phone books in China?

Because everyone uses the Internet to look up phone numbers or people don't have landlines anymore and cell phone numbers aren't listed in the phone book. Also people use social media to communicate and connect with people.

What's the pink panther's to do list?

To do *To do *To do to do to do to do to doooooo

Urinate Jokes More Urinate Jokes

What do the Globetrotters do when they're finished urinating?

The Harlem Shake

What did the police officer say to the man who was urinating publicly?

Urine trouble, mate!"

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of coffee does a peg legged pirate drink?

Decalfinated.

What Kind of Motorcycles do Lesbians ride?

Chowasaki. - Pat H.

P Jokes More P Jokes

How do you get Lady Gaga attention?

P-p-p-poke her face.

What are a musician's favourite letters?

P and O.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why was the wife worried that her husband was a light drinker?

Every night, he'd go out and drink until it was light.

Why do you always need to take 2 baptists on a fishing trip instead of one?

If you take one, he'll drink all of your beer, If you take 2 neither will drink a drop

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Why do the French have so many civil wars?

So they can win one every now and again. (Thanks, John Cleese! This was too good not to share.)

Why did Tupac go to the gym?

To get a sixpac! (Thank you 7th grade me)

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

Why didn't the number 4 get into the nightclub?

Because he is 2 square.

What do you call 4 condoms?

For me, a year's supply.