Difference Jokes

What's the difference between politics and engineering?

What POC means.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between a girl that's praying and a girl that's having a bubble bath?

One has hope in her soul, The other has soap in her hole.

What's the difference between Gabe Newell and a toddler?

A toddler can count past two...

What's the difference between Jesus and a whore?

The expression on their face when they're getting nailed.

This joke may have profanity.

Whats the difference between a hospital and a terrorist stronghold?

I dunno I just fly the drone.....

What's the difference between a degree in Theoretical Physics and a theoretical degree in Physics?

One is relevant and can get you a job. The other you went to university for.

What is the difference between Windows and the US Goverment?

There is none. All of us hope that the next version will be more stable.

What's the difference between a green elephant and a purple one?

One of them is purple

What is the only difference between this year and last year?

A building in Dubai.

What's the difference between the Amish and a Ferrari?

About 568 horses.

What's the difference between a pig and a ham sandwich?

You can get a prosecutor to indict the ham sandwich.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?

Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?

What's the difference between a hedgehog and a Jeep?

With the hedgehog the pricks can be seen on the outside and with a Jeep the prick can be seen on the inside.

What's the difference between between a piano, tuna, and glue?

You can tuna piano, but you cant piano tuna!

What's the difference between an elected official and a piece of garbage?

Garbage gets thrown out.

What us the difference between white, brown and black people?

The time God took to cook us

What's the difference between a small bird?

One of it's legs is a little smaller.

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops at three Hos.

What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a Hoover vaccuum?

The position of the dirt bag.

What's the difference between Olive Garden and Reddit?

At Olive Garden the servers actually work.

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts?

beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck

What is the difference between a bachelorette party and Cirque du Soleil?

One is a group of cunning stunts.

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

What's the difference between a round piece of plastic and a babies head?

I don't use a round piece of plastic as a shift knob.

What's the difference between an Arab and an American wife?

The age

What's the difference between a fly and a bird?

A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.

What the difference between an IS training camp and a primary school?

There aren't many paedos in the camp.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies ?

Disney Movies still touch kids

What's the difference between a Christmas star and a bad pickling job?

One brightly shines...

What's the difference between a race car and a woman?

One costs a lot of money to maintain, keep running, and give you the results you want. The other has four wheels.

What is the difference between Christmas music and Kobe Bryant?

Christmas music will still be playing next year.

Whats the difference between congress and a US mint?

One of them makes sense!

What are the differences among a piano, a tuna, and super glue?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

What's the difference between a Porsche and a trash bag full of dead babies?

I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

What's the difference between a group of pigmies and a lesbian track team?

One of them is a bunch of cunning runts

What is the difference between a baker baking a cake and a gynecologist giving an exam?

A few degrees.

What's the difference between a bad golfer, and a bad skydiver?

The golfer goes " Damn!" The skydiver goes "Damn! "

What's the difference between and elephant and a mail box?

I don't know. I hope you're not allowed to take the mail out to the mail box.

What's the difference between you and a brick?

Bricks can get laid.

What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and his E-Wheelchair?

If you repair both, the E-Wheelchair is the only thing running again

What's the difference between PHP and PCP?

One makes you: The other is a synthetic drug.

What's the difference between a sperm bank and an regular bank?

When you start to make deposits at the sperm bank, you loose interest

What's the difference between linearly independent vectors and the World Trade Centre?

You can't put a plane through linearly independent vectors

Whats the difference between a girl and a washing machine?

When I dump a load in the washing machince, it doesnt follow me around

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?

One person.

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has a future...

What's the difference between a waitress and your mom?

A waitress leaves me alone after I give her the tip.

What's the difference between a radical and a moderate Muslim?

A radical Muslim wants to cut your head off, but a moderate Muslim the radical Muslim to cut your head off. Bye.

What's the difference between Joan Crawford and an abortion doctor ?

When Joan used a coat-hanger on Cheryl, she was already out of the womb.

This joke may have profanity.

What is the difference between a wife and a mistress?

About 20kg.

What's the difference between the ISIS headquarters and a kindergarten?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

What's the difference between slavery and a cow?

You stop milking a cow after 150 years.

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

What is the difference between Reddit and a fetish party?

You might actually get me to sub here.

What's the Difference Between Guts and Balls?

Guts is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk meeting your wife at the door with a broom in her hand and asking her if she's still cleaning the house or going out for a ride. Balls is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk with lipstick all over your face and the scent of women's perfume all over you, meeting your wife at the door and stating, "You're next, chubby."

What's the difference between me and an egg?

An egg gets laid.

What is the difference between ovaries and testicles?

There is a vas diference

What is your best casino joke?

I work in a casino and want to hear your best one. Here is mine: what's the difference between a canoe and a baccarat player? A canoe sometimes tips!

What's the difference between a $1000 used car and a Rolls-Royce?

One's a grand car and the other's a grand car

Whats the difference between Pink Floyd and Princess Diana?

Nothing, their last big hit was the wall.

What's the difference between a saxophone and an onion?

You don't cry when you cut up a saxophone. Happy Saxophone Day Why this musical abomination deserves its own day is beyond me. Edit: beside to beyond

What's the difference between an Elephant and a post box?

Well, if you don't know I'm definitely not asking you to mail this letter for me.

Whats the difference between congress and parliament?

Ones filled with a bunch of baboons and the other just doesn't give a hoot during the day.

What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a run in the forest?

Ones a pant in the country the others a...

What's the difference between fog and mist?

If you hit it its fog, if you don't it's mist.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead baby?

I don't have a Lamborghini

What's the difference between /r/jokes and your mom?

Your mom is funny.

What's the difference between a pirate and a necrophiliac?

I'm not sure, but they both go out with shovels to find the booty.

What's the difference between Americans and Europeans?

For an European 500 Miles is a long distance, for an American 500 years are a long History

What's the difference between a deaf person and my wife?

I don't know.

What's the difference between a robber and a politician?

Politicians run BEFORE they steal your money.

What is the difference between lightning and electricity?

Teacher: What is the difference between lightning and electricity? Alexander: I know you do not have to pay for lightning.

What is the difference between a robot and a sandwich?

Everything. These two objects have nothing in common.

What's the difference between my ex and my toaster?

It only takes 120 volts to turn on my toaster.

What's the difference between saying sorry and apologizing?

You can say sorry at a funeral.

What's the difference between white socks and red socks?

Students will most likely answer the color) Then you say, "yes, that's one difference but there's another: The White Sox play in Chicago and the Red Sox play in Boston!

What's the difference between a Mexican and a notebook?

A notebook has papers. -I'll see myself out now

What is the difference between a feminist and a machist?

The second lacks the hypocrisy of the first.

What's the difference between Americans and ice cream?

Ice cream fits in a tub.

What's the difference between my guitar and my girlfriend?

My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string

What's the difference between HP computers and HP in a video game?

One of them you want to see a lot less of.

What's the difference between a tea bag and England?

A tea bag stays longer in a cup.

What's the difference between the English rugby team and a teabag?

A teabag stays in the cup longer! (im so sorry -)

What's the difference between a teabag and the English rugby team?

A teabag stays in the cup longer...

Whats the difference between a Doctors Without Borders hospital and ISIS?

How would I know, Im just a US Air Force Operator.

Whats the difference between a coal mining company and the Catholic Church?

A coal mining company puts miners in shafts not the other way around.......

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies?

Disney movies can still touch children.

What's the difference between a cow and The Bible?

You can't milk a cow for 2,000 years.

What's the difference between a secret Taliban hideout and an Afghan public school?

I don't know, I just fly the drone

What's the difference between congress and a circus?

One is a Cunning array of Stunts...

What's the difference between a bird and a fly?

A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.

What's the difference between a refugee and a terrorist?

I don't know. I just build the fence.

Whats the difference from a terrorist and a psychopath?

A llahu akbar

What is the difference between a golfer and skydiver?

A golfer goes "damn" and a skydiver goes "damn" .

What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling?

One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler!

Why did the philanthropist learn how to subtract?

Because he wanted to make a difference. My first original, time for open mic!

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooooo.

Whats the difference between a hippy chick and a washing machine?

When you drop a load in, it doesn't follow you around for 6 months trying to get spun. 8)

Whats the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?

One of them is actually wanted!

What's the difference between a BMW and a cactus?

on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside

You might also enjoy:

Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

Why can't you play hide and go seek with a Pokemon?

Because he'll peek-at-chu!

How do you starve a Socialist?

You hide their food stamps under their work boots. Edit Thank you /u/DoctorBrohoof for my first gold!

Shoot Range Jokes More Shoot Range Jokes

What's the difference between a Canadian and an American?

Canadian knows the difference between a school and a shooting range.

What's the difference between a shooting range and an American college?

About thirty thousand dollars a year.

Stoat Jokes More Stoat Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

One is weasely identifiable while the other is stoatally different.

What's the difference between a stoat and a weasel?

One is weasily recognised and the other is stoatally different

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

What did the black man say to the Mexican?

Hey. Watermelawn.

What falls first an apple or a black man?

An apple because the balackman hangs.

Jail Jokes More Jail Jokes

Why did the belt go to jail?

A. Because he held up a pair of pants!

What did the Jamaican man say when asked why he didn't mind going to jail for stealing the Pikachu card?

I love the pokey, mon.

Acknowledge Jokes More Acknowledge Jokes

What do Catholics and Baptists have in common?

Neither acknowledge their fellow church-goers at the liquor store.

How many dead bodies do I have to leave on the porch before they acknowledge me?

Cats

Major Difference Jokes More Major Difference Jokes

What's the only major difference between Cinco de Mayo and Saint Patrick's day?

Nobody wants to pretend to be a Mexican for a day.

What's the difference between a captain and a lt.col ?

A major difference.

Watermelon Jokes More Watermelon Jokes

What do you call a watermelon in California?

A melon

What will you do with a million watermelons?

I don't want the watermelons, I just want the money."